Copyright

Yuuhon: The Overpowered Hero From Another World Just Wants to Go Home!, Vol. 1: Re:Gretfully Starting Life in Another World.

Copyright © 2023 by T.K. Manne

All rights reserved.

Book Cover and Illustrations by Kukuri

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

For permission requests, contact authortkmanne@gmail.com.

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The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

1st edition 2023

Contents

Copyright

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Epilogue

Afterword

PROLOGUE

(That Introduces a Mystery That Won’t Really Matter for at Least Two More Volumes)

Vrrrrrroaaawwuuuaowwwwwww kih kih kih…

The alien pulsing sound was the entire world for a while. Matter, energy, and time all were consumed by the noise without prejudice. Reality spun and stretched like pizza dough in the hands of an over-eager chef on their first day. Beneath, above, and all-around ceased to be. Now there was only that brilliant ebon—a starry expanse without end. Infinite possibilities lacking container or course. And although it appeared static, there was clear movement. Distant, luminous pinpoints inched in congress toward the same direction. No, that wasn’t quite right. The lights weren’t moving at all. He was.

The young man couldn’t be sure, for it didn’t feel as though he was in motion. Yet the unpleasant feeling in his gut—not unlike the sort one experiences before a rollercoaster careens off track and kills two-point-seven people—told him he was indeed being taken for a ride that was about to get unusually bumpy. He struggled against the force of it instinctively, as anyone—except the rollercoaster passenger who’d covertly rigged the machine to go flying and kill two-point-seven people—might have.

However, it proved a fruitless gesture. The young man had not been spared the fate of all else. He couldn’t writhe against whatever fettered him because he possessed naught to writhe with. Naturally, the loss of his corporeal body came as a terrible shock. So much so that he would have vomited if he possessed the ability.

Where am I going? Wondered the disembodied consciousness that had formerly been a young man. Then, he realized the more important question. Wait, how am I going?

The last thing he could recall was picking up a rather strange book. He’d been on his way home from an evening trip to the convenience store for nikuman when he tripped over it. For something so large, he really should’ve spotted it sooner. Perhaps it was unfair to blame him for that blunder, though. The tome had only just materialized in that spot on the ground a half-second before it caught his shoe.

After lurching forward and taking a few disgraceful steps, the young man had, understandably, been a little upset. He’d kicked the book and knocked its heavy cover open. There, on that first page, had been an image. Not an illustration someone penned, nor a picture impressed by a machine, but a moving scene, like looking through a window.

A few decades ago, this would’ve been impressive. But the young man lived in the twenty-first century, the era of the touchscreen. He’d thought little of the animated landscape on the page and picked up the heavy book. The volume’s many pages had yellowed with age, and their edges were rough from wear. Curiously, only the first page had a moving image. The rest were filled with dense writing of a language the young man couldn’t discern. It certainly wasn’t Japanese.

After leafing through and discovering nothing else but the fine, undecipherable script, the young man had turned back to the first page. Beyond the paper was a vista of hillocks carpeted in lush grass. The naked sides of the mounds had purple bands of sediment running through them. Wondering if he might swipe and move the camera angle to see more, the young man had placed his finger upon the page...and promptly vanished.

That was how he wound up an unwilling and unwitting traveler of this starry expanse.

The young man’s consciousness looked around, a feat he was glad to still be capable of despite lacking ocular organs. He scanned around for home, but the distant, twinkling pinpricks were indistinguishable.

“Oh my, what’s this? A darling little guest?”

The words came from every direction.

CHAPTER 1

A Maiden in Distress(?)

Vrrrrrroaaawwuuuaowwwwwww kih kih kih…

“...Huh?”

Narou blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the midday sun. He could’ve sworn it was early evening a moment ago. The dark-haired boy raised a hand to shield his face. As his eyes, weakened from a lack of vitamin D due to his introverted lifestyle, adjusted, a familiar scene took shape.

Yellow and blue grasses covered the rolling hills, blades swaying gently at a gust of conveniently dramatic wind. There were few trees, owing to the many little mounds and valleys, and Narou thought he heard a stream babbling nearby.

“Where...am I?”

This was not anywhere Narou had been before. He glanced down, patting his body to ensure he was indeed himself. Track pants, the track jacket his mom gave him for his birthday last year, and a T-shirt underneath. Yup, he was undoubtedly still Narou Shousetsu, first-year high school student.

Realizing that he likely had everything else on him if he still had his clothes, he stuck a hand into a pocket and pulled out his smartphone. The screen was cracked from when he left it on the sink to listen to his favorite YouTuber while in the shower and knocked it over when grasping through the steam for a towel. Excluding the top right corner, the screen still worked fine, though.

Narou pressed the power button on the side, and the phone obediently came to life. Beneath the date and time was a message that read No Signal.

“Damn it…,” Narou muttered. Even if he didn’t know where he was, the internet should have been able to tell him. Was there really a place in his neighborhood that didn’t have reception?

Er, wait, this can’t be home. Hirakata doesn’t have all this nature.

If he wasn’t there, then where? Had he somehow gotten onto a train and ridden out towards Kyoto without realizing it? That trip took around forty-five minutes, and Narou didn’t recall boarding or disembarking.

Was it rapid-onset narcolepsy and sleepwalking?! Narou had read an online click-bait article about something like that happening in Kumamoto and got so freaked out he didn’t fall asleep until four in the morning for a couple of nights.

Suddenly, a thundering sound echoed across the landscape, yanking Narou out of his contemplation.

“Groaaaaaaaarrrr!”

The noise was immediately recognizable as the deep cry of a large animal. A lion, perhaps? Narou scanned the hills, but saw no evidence of an approaching beast. And no sooner did his nervous stomach begin to unknot than…

Fwoosh!

...a massive shadow passed over the young man. A powerful surge of air followed after, buffeting Narou so fiercely that he fell onto his rear end. He gritted his teeth from the pain in his coccyx and looked up.

“Wha?!” Narou cried in utter disbelief. A massive, four-legged lizard with wings soared above. Its argent scales caught the sun so brilliantly that it was tough to gaze directly upon the enormous thing, yet Narou understood immediately what it was.

“A dragon?!”

Yup.

It was the spitting image of a dragon from [your favorite JPRG], which is great because now you have the perfect mental picture, and we can move on without describing it any further.

Narou’s first thought was to run for fear of becoming a quick snack. However, he had another idea that kept him rooted in place.

I’ll get on the news if I can snap a picture of it! Then I can spin that fame into a career as a game streamer on Twitch!

Narou’s hands grasped for the phone he’d stowed back in his pocket a second ago. His fingers moved swifter than they had in recorded history, even more so than when he’d tried to catch his phone after knocking it off the sink.

Snap!

A triumphant feeling roared in Narou’s chest. It quickly diminished when he realized that the glare of the dragon’s scales had ruined the image. Plus, the picture was just generally fuzzy.

“Gah! Why’s a phone have three cameras if none of them work?!” he exclaimed.

The massive flying lizard that may have otherwise ignored Narou turned its head in his direction, roaring again.

With a string of half-formed expletives trailing from his lips, Narou scrambled to his feet and took off as fast as his legs would carry him. Although he dared not glance back, he heard the beating of heavy wings crescendoing.

Narou sprinted down one shallow hill and around another as the monster overhead let out another blood-curdling cry.

“Groaaaaaaaarrrr!”

Icy terror gripped Narou as the dragon’s shadow eclipsed him. His eyes had clamped shut on instinct in preparation for the end, and yet…it did not come. Narou kept his lids closed for a few more moments, waiting to be roasted alive or swallowed whole. Yet, to his relief, he remained decidedly uncharred and non-vored.

“Um…”

When Narou finally dared to risk a glance, he saw that there was now a second dragon in the sky, a blue one that also resembled the kind from [your favorite JRPG]. It seemed to be having a terse disagreement with the silver one. Intense gales heralded the first, so why did the second come so silently? That was a question for someone not in mortal danger.

Narou ran over and between the hills for what felt like hours, but was closer to fifteen or twenty minutes. The stamina of the average internet-savvy high schooler wasn’t great, even with fear-of-death-induced adrenaline.

“Huff, huff… I almost wish…I was eaten now. Why—huff—does anyone exercise? It’s awful.” Narou collapsed to catch his breath. He made sure to lie on the side of a mound that would conceal him from the dragons, who were still having it out in the air.

All right. It’s becoming clearer by the second that this isn’t Hirakata or Kyoto. So then where… Ah! That’s right! That weird book!

Narou recalled the tome he’d tripped over on the way home from the convenience store.

I remember putting my finger on the picture, and then… Ngh, what came after?

Try as he did, the boy couldn’t remember what had occurred between him touching that moving image and appearing in this beautiful, if perilous, field. Then, he had an idea, a truly awful one.

No. That can’t be it. There’s no way that kind of thing actually happens. It can’t be that.

It was.

I’m confident there’s a more plausible explanation.

There wasn’t.

Narou pushed the notion to the recesses of his mind. It wouldn’t do any good to think such morbid things, anyway. He remained sprawled out on the side of the hill until the sounds of the two dragons faded. Once the immediate threat passed, he considered the next problem.

“I need to find someone who can help me before dark.”

As best as Narou could tell, it was early afternoon, even though his phone insisted it was eight in the evening. There was still time before sunset, but Narou didn’t feel great about his chances of locating aid before then. When he stood atop the hill and surveyed the area, he didn’t see anything in the way of civilization. There was a mountain range in one direction and what looked like a forest in the other.

“Wait, is that…” Straining his eyes, Narou made out the vague shape of a dirt road cutting through the wild grasses. A trail had to lead to a place with people. He might even run into one of them while following it! Narou’s overworked calves groaned the whole while, but he made for the path that was his only hope.

A scream cut through the air when Narou drew near enough to realize that the route was broader than his distant impression suggested.

“Eeeeeeeeeek!”

Narou flinched, fearing that one of the dragons had returned. No beast so giant could produce such a high-pitched, defenseless sound, though. That meant it was likely…

“Someone, please, help!”

Powerful indecision seized Narou, and he froze. On the one hand, he did want to see what was happening, but he was reluctant to get caught in another’s problem. He was in the middle of his own issue, after all.

Sheeeeen!

Bang!

A keen sound Narou was unfamiliar with ran over the hilly field, followed by an explosion.

Narou crouched beside the nearest mound and peered in the direction of the noise. Not too far down the road, there was a covered wagon. Whatever animal was hitched to the cart had gotten free and run off. A portly man lay on the ground in a disgraceful position. Gruesome streaks of muddy red scored his face. It was a horrifying sight, to be sure, but what dominated Narou’s attention more than the grizzly cadaver was…

“Hoo! Hah! Oh, won’t somebody please rescue me!”

A girl who looked roughly the same age as Narou was fending off a group of monstrous beings that resembled monkeys with enormous bat-like wings. Her strawberry-colored hair, which would have gone past her shoulders loose, was tied up and trailed behind her like a streak as she leaped to evade her opponents’ claws. Her clothing was torn in little sections here and there for maximum fan service.

Are those…cat ears and a…tail? Narou’s gut knotted with the grim realization that the situation was precisely as he’d feared. O-Okay, well, that doesn’t prove anything yet. Maybe they’re just headphones, and she has a fake tail attached to her outfit.

Nope.

Yeah, she’s some kind of weird e-girl street performer, and this is her show.

Bruh.

As Narou watched, doing his best to deny reality, he realized something was odd about the scene before him—something besides a cat-eared girl fighting weird winged monkeys.

Why isn’t she hitting them?

The beautiful girl dipped and dove to avoid harm, yet she never retaliated. If she could dance around the creatures, she had to be skilled enough to fight back. However, she seemed content to force a stalemate.

“I beseech thee, benevolent goddess, please send unto me a hero before I’m savaged by these awful beasts! Oh, what a terrible fate I have been bestov—bestowed!”

…

Did she just screw up her life-or-death plea?!

The error must have distracted the girl, because she faltered for a moment. The winged monkeys seized upon that mistake, surrounding her. Swift as the young woman had proven herself to be, escaping looked impossible now.

Narou felt something tug at his chest. The sensation was alien to the teenager, and it required a moment for him to identify it as empathy. Before his better judgment could object, Narou stood from behind the hill, and he took a step toward the girl, preparing to run. Admittedly, he lacked the faintest idea how to help, but pausing to consider would leave time for this flash of bravado to fade, and he’d be back hiding.

Unfortunately, Narou still didn’t act in time, and the monkey creatures attacked, lunging at the girl with their knife-like claws glinting like wicked daggers.

“Vas Flam!”

Sheeeeen!

Bang!

The sounds from earlier rang out again. But this time, Narou bore witness to their source.

With enemies bearing down on her from every direction, the girl raised a hand and spoke some arcane phrase. In response, an intricate, crimson magic circle formed, hovering before her palm. A ball of fire erupted from the array, striking one of the winged monkeys in the chest and blasting a smoking hole into its ribcage. The young woman used that opening in the enemy’s ranks to escape certain doom.

“Damn. I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to kill another one,” she admitted at a volume that implied ignorance of Narou’s presence. Then she resumed dodging while crying in an overly-affected voice, “Is there anyone there? Please, help me. I’m in terrible danger!”

Narou hadn’t the faintest idea what to make of this scene, but understood enough that he didn’t want any part in it. He would just have to find someone else to help him get home. Plus…

That ridiculous circle that appeared in front of her hand… It sure looked like the kind of magic from those kinds of stories. I’d better steer clear of her.

However, no sooner did Narou begin to crouch back down behind the hill to make an unassuming escape than the odd girl spotted him.

“Ah! You there! Traveler! Please help me! I’m but a—hiyah!—poor slave girl at the mercy of these—hup!—fearsome mongbats! They attacked my carriage, scared off the horse, and slew my—ki-yah!—master!” All through her entreating, the cat-eared girl was feinting, dashing, and blocking better than a strip-mall karate dojo master. That is to say, suspiciously well.

“Oh, um, no. No thanks,” Narou replied awkwardly. There was nothing he could do against those frightening monsters. Besides, the girl was clearly holding her own. He stiffly waved goodbye and turned to leave.

The answer was so unexpected that even the mongbats, incapable of human speech, paused to give Narou the side-eye.

“N-No?” the girl repeated, visibly stunned. She, like the monsters, stopped fighting to stare at Narou. Heartbreak swam in her ice-blue eyes, and Narou felt his stomach writhe with guilt, but he shuffled off nonetheless.

That was close. A lone carriage beset by monsters is such an obvious inciting incident in those kinds of novels. If I really am where I think, then it’s better not to get wrapped up in that stuff.

The girl at his back shrieked again.

“Kyahhhh!”

Narou halted, but he reminded himself that she’d handily dispatched one of the mongbats and resumed his exit from the scene. Curiously, Narou heard no more screams or calls for help, only the chittering of the monsters.

…No way. No way. She blew one of them to smithereens. It’ll be fine.

“Perhaps,” needled the grim wondering in his head. “But maybe she was distracted by your refusing her, and that gave the beasts enough time to—”

That girl fought better than Bruce Lee! Her instincts would’ve warned her of—

“What if?”

Running back will seriously get me killed! I stay inside and post memes all day. I’m unfit for physical activity! Especially the kind that involves bleeding!

“By the way, remember when you were thirteen, and you totally shit your pants at the movies?”

Why do you always bring that up?! Ugh! Fine. If I die, at least I’ll have the satisfaction of taking you with me.

Sighing, Narou turned around and hurried back to the carriage. The group of mongbats was still there, and the girl who’d been fending them off lay at their feet with her eyes closed. Narou’s heart sank, and he dared not consider her condition. That could come later. For now, he needed to drive off these winged monkeys. The question was: how?

A direct fight wasn’t an option. The mongbats were smaller than Narou, but they had defined arm and leg muscles. Narou was closer to a skinny human torso with pipe-cleaners for limbs. And although the field was vast, there was little the young man saw that could tip things in his favor. The sparse number of trees meant no sturdy branch to use as a club. There were only a few stones here and there in the grass.

With no other recourse, Narou grabbed the best-looking rock, cursed himself for the idiotic thing he was about to do, and then hurled it at the monsters. The makeshift projectile crossed a distance that Narou thought was passable, at the very least. Regrettably, his late release meant that it flew wide of his targets and tore a hole in the canvas hood of the wagon—a total foul ball.

“Uki?”

The mongbats looked up at the sound, immediately spotting the conspicuous boy standing with his arm still outstretched in a poor follow-through. They blinked at him vacantly, unsure what to make of the situation, and Narou could feel the bravery he’d summoned flowing from him as surely as if he’d sprung a leak.

It wouldn’t be long until the monsters were upon him, their claws tearing into his soft, highly-tearable flesh. Narou had one other idea, but calling it as much was generous. It wasn’t an idea. An idea would get him out of here in one piece. This was the exact opposite; a die-dea. Still, Narou figured it was better to exhaust all options available than to perish wondering what might have been.

The young man took a deep breath and planted himself firmly. Then he adopted the faux battle stance that his favorite character from Dragon Orb used. He whipped out one arm dramatically, pointing at the mongbats.

“Hey!” Narou bellowed, calling upon all of his puberty hormones to deepen his voice. “Cut that out!”

All went silent. Even the gentle breeze wafting over and between the hills seemed to quiet down. Then…

“Ukiiiiiii!” the mongbats shrieked, incensed. Human speech was beyond them, but seeing a lanky, frail creature take a commanding pose and shout at them enraged the monsters on an instinctual level.

Narou hadn’t expected his die-dea to work, of course. It was a ludicrous hope. Still, he didn’t expect it to make the situation worse.

The mongbats flapped their leathery wings and jumped up and down. A few even lifted off the ground.

Welp, it’s been a good run, Narou mused sardonically. Really wish I got to eat those nikuman first, though.

“In Flam Hur!”

Shing!

The cat-eared girl, who Narou had incorrectly assumed to be dead, spoke another arcane phrase. In response, an even larger crimson magic circle formed before her.

Fwoosh!

Immediately, a massive wave of fire erupted. Tongues of flame washed over the astonished mongbats, who screamed in terrible agony as they were engulfed.

Narou, like most ordinary folks, had never seen other creatures burn alive before, and he was understandably a little bummed and unappreciative for the experience.

“Holy shit! What the hell is happening?!” he exclaimed, eyes wide with horror and wet with tears. One of the pitiable winged monkeys staggered toward him, hands outstretched, pleading for salvation before collapsing. The cinders smoldering from its scorched form carried the acrid scent of seared flesh, and Narou covered his mouth for fear of vomiting.

“Oh, the humanity!” he cried.

“Don’t worry; they aren’t human.”

The cat-eared girl was on her feet now, and she approached Narou casually, strutting through the conjured inferno as cool as a cucumber wrapped in flame-retardant material.

With a smile that was wholly inappropriate for the tragedy, the girl said, “I knew you’d come to my rescue, Master. I prayed to the goddess every day for a savior, and you’re finally here!”

The girl who had just casually murdered at least a dozen living creatures threw herself upon Narou, whose voice cracked as he continued to—rightfully—freak out.

Squish.

The cat-eared girl’s ample breasts coiled around Narou’s head like two Burmese pythons of pillowy softness. Such a thing was the dream of many high school boys.

“Mfgh! Mfhhhghhhmgh!”

Narou was not especially appreciative of the impromptu bit of ecchi, though. For you see, much like actual Burmese pythons did with their prey and the arms of people in internet videos, the girl’s breasts were enveloping poor Narou’s head and cutting off his supply of oxygen.

“I may have studied magic for years, but I could never have hoped to defeat C-Rank monsters alone! Yet you came and bravely gave me the confidence I needed to win! This isn’t just my victory, Master—it’s ours! No, it’s not even mine. You did everything. I was merely the tool through which you executed your perfect tactical brilliance!” Unaware that she was about to claim another life today, the cat-eared girl lavished Narou with praise that quickly turned to some not-so-subtle toxic self-deprecation.

“Nfhgmghhhfhglllmffh!” replied Narou, whose face was turning a ripe shade of blue. Pooling his little strength, he smacked the ground with one hand like a pro-wrestler tapping out.

“Hm? Oh! I’m so sorry, Master!”

The cat-eared girl pulled away, although her buttocks remained firmly planted on Narou’s pelvis. Thankfully, despite her breasts being larger than the human skull, her waist was thin and didn’t weigh on the young man too terribly.

Narou spent his first few moments of freedom from the deadly boobs gasping for air. The pyre of mongbats was still burning, so he took in a bit of cadaver ash and coughed horribly with each inhale.

“Who cough are you?” he asked when his head finally stopped spinning.

“Oh! How silly of me. My name is Plum, and you’re my new master!”

“Master?” Narou blinked vacantly a few times.

Plum nodded with the most joyous expression one could imagine. “That’s right! I’ve been a slave for so long, and although I wanted to free myself, I was helpless to do so. My only hope was to pray for the Goddess to send me a hero from another world.”

Another world.

Narou’s blood went cold.

Crap… I’ve been isekai’d.

Isekai was a popular light novel genre back in Narou’s home country of Japan, and he positively abhorred it. In the past decade, isekai stories had grown so popular that they were inescapable. At least eighty percent of anime programs were based on isekai books nowadays.

One of Narou’s favorite action manga was slated for an anime adaptation last season, but it never aired. In a Twitter rant, the manga author explained that their work was passed over because some executive decided an isekai would be more popular.

“I’ll never forgive those damned isekai!” So Narou swore on the day the manga author was ostracized for breaching his contract by revealing confidential information on social media.

Understanding this predicament didn’t make it any easier for Narou to accept. Getting transported to some generic fantasy world wasn’t a thing that happened in real life.

“Ah, wait… That book…”

The video playing on its first page was the spitting image of the idyllic (if one ignored the growing blaze) field where Narou and Plum now sat.

So touching that image transported me here?

Narou conceded that it was vastly preferable to dying by truck—the standard isekai method. Perhaps that old tome could also provide a way back home? Narou didn’t have it on him, though.

“Book? What are you talking about, Master?” Plum cocked her head to one side, ears twitching with curiosity. Her tail similarly drifted this way and that. She leaned forward so that her cute little nose, tinged just the right amount of pink, was nearly touching Narou’s.

If this really is another world… A totally different planet…

“Ah! Back the hell away from me!” Narou insisted frantically. He pulled his face away from Plum’s, took the girl by the midsection, and pushed her off. Plum fell backward and twisted her body mid-descent so that she landed in the grass in a highly suggestive pose.

“Kyah! M-Master’s so rough with me! But if that’s what you want, I can take it. Today should be a safe day, so it’s all right…”

Once he was back on his feet, Narou patted the dirt from his clothes and replied, “Gross. Absolutely not.”

“Fuwah?! Why not? Am I not good enough to satisfy you, master?”

“Germs.”

“What?”

“You know I’m from a different world, right? The microorganisms in my body could be highly infectious to you, and vice-versa! We both need to disinfect immediately!”

Narou looked around, but nothing nearby could kill a virus or bacteria except the fire that was spreading to the wagon.

“I’m sorry, Master, but I don’t understand. You must be too brilliant for a worthless slave girl like me.”

Narou was a C-average student back on Earth, and he only maintained that because he crammed like crazy the nights before tests and cheated with his smartphone whenever he could.

It made sense that Plum, an inhabitant of a planet using horse-drawn wagons for transportation, didn’t understand germs. Frustrated nonetheless, Narou explained, “Just… Keep your distance from me, all right? And you’re not a slave. I don’t want to be your master.”

“B-But I’ve wanted this my entire life…,” Plum protested meekly. “It’s not easy convincing slavers to take me through mongbat country because of how aggressive they get during mating season. I’ve done it so many times that most of them know my face, and they’ve started refusing me.”

Narou’s eyes widened with comprehension. Plum had demonstrated a frightening level of strength, yet she’d refused to fight back. It was because the whole thing was an act. She’d been trying to bait whatever divine powers existed here into sending her a hero. And, after what sounded like way too many attempts, she’d gotten one.

Jaw all but striking the ground for how agape he was, Narou stood in silence for a moment. Then he took a deep breath, did an about-face, and started to walk away.

“Wait for me, Master!” called Plum.

“No.”

“Ah! Don’t start running!”

“Please kindly never associate with me again.”

“Your cold indifference and utter lack of interest in me are captivating! I’ll follow you to the end of the world!”

“What kind of messed up toxic bullshit is that? Get some self-respect!”

“Okay! Since you’re telling me to, Master!”

“Don’t twist it back to sounding toxic again!”

Grrrrrrrrrr.

The back and forth abruptly ended when a horrible growling thundered over the hills. Thankfully, it wasn’t a dragon this time. It was Narou’s stomach.

He was abducted from Earth on his way home from buying some nikuman, after all. It had been a while since he’d last eaten. Narou wondered what became of the food he purchased. It didn’t make the trip with him. Perhaps it was sitting on the sidewalk back on Earth.

A grin that was equal parts sinister and perverted spread across Plum’s face, and she suddenly looked very pleased with herself. “Master, are you hungry, by any chance?”

“I…can’t say that I’m not hungry,” Narou replied with highly warranted caution. And no sooner had the words left his lips than he realized his mistake. He tried to course correct as swiftly as possible. “Wait, that doesn’t mean—”

“THEN YOU CAN DEVOUR ME!” Plum took firm hold of her clothes and, with a mighty yank…

Rrrip!

…they came flying off.

“DON’T WORRY, MASTER! IT’S A SAFE DAY! DEFILE ME AS YOU SEE FIT!” The way the cat-eared girl was huffing and puffing, she didn’t look too different from the mongbats in heat that she’d brutally incinerated. Plum kicked off the ground, racing toward the horrified Narou.

“Stay back! Mucous membrane contact is, like, the easiest way to transmit diseases!”

“I’VE NEVER DONE IT WITH ANYONE BEFORE! I’M DISEASE FREE!”

“I don’t just mean those kinds of—wait, you don’t know about germs, but you understand what STDs are?!”

Plum didn’t make the slightest attempt to conceal her bare skin, and her gigantic breasts swayed like plastic bags rudely left behind in a grocery store parking lot. Narou understood from the look in Plum’s eye that any attempt to reason with her was futile. Thus he had only one option to end this insanity.

“Stop it this instant. That’s an order from your master,” he commanded.

Immediately, Plum dropped to the ground like a rock. She silently paced over to where she’d tossed her clothes and obediently donned them again. Apparently, they were designed to be tear-away. Even the fan service rips were false. Plum soberly fastened the loose bits back into place.

Narou despised the whole “master” thing, but since it was the only way to control Plum, he had to tolerate it for the time being.

Once Plum was decent again, Narou asked, “Do you know if there’s a town or something nearby?” There was still time before sunset, but Plum’s eccentricities had wasted a good amount of the afternoon.

“Well, there’s Elias. That’s roughly a day’s walk southeast along the road, but…” Plum cast her gaze down at her feet as she trailed off. Narou realized she wasn’t wearing shoes.

“Right. Walking a whole day barefoot would be pretty rough.”

“No, it’s not that. I kind of bragged to a bunch of people in Elias that the next time they saw me, I’d be six months pregnant with the child of a hero from another world. So… maybe we should do it once or twice, so they don’t make fun of me.”

Step step step.

Now that he knew the way to civilization, Narou followed the path off toward Elias.

“Ah! Stop trying to abandon me, Master!” Plum protested, cheeks puffed out like a spoiled child’s.

“Narou Shousetsu.”

“Eh?”

“My name isn’t ‘Master.’ It’s Narou Shousetsu.”

Plum clapped her hands together with a delighted look on her face. “Master Narou, then!”

CHAPTER 2

Quests Aplenty

The trip to Elias proved an easy one, almost astonishingly so. Plum succeeded in rescuing some travel provisions from the burning carriage, which she and Narou ate as they followed the road on foot.

Initially, the boy from Earth hadn’t been keen on Plum tagging along, but she was eager to help, knew far more about this other world than he did, and was too powerful for him to stop anyway.

Narou had been hesitant to consume the food of an alien planet, but upon realizing that the rations were preserved fruit and dried beef—things that existed on his world—he bit the bullet and ate them. If he was going to perish here, it was better to do it on a full stomach than expire from starvation. Narou wasn’t developing a fever despite prolonged exposure to Plum, either.

It’s lucky that I can survive on the food of this world and that it doesn’t seem like my body chemistry is incompatible… But it almost feels suspicious. Why would a different planet be so conveniently similar to Earth?

Puzzling over it only earned him a headache, although that may have been due to the numerous other absurdities that had happened today. That Narou, an anxious teen, was handling a literal interplanetary abduction with enough aplomb to reason at all came as a surprise to him.

Maybe it’s like when you get a high score in old arcade games, and it resets back to zero?

The ludicrous score had reached its cap and rolled over back to nil.

As the pair marched on toward civilization, Narou asked Plum more about this world, and she was only too happy to be of use. She went into some very lengthy exposition that can be summarized thusly:

The planet was called Erd, the continent they were on was referred to as Vrym, and the country was named Itannia. Two types of sentient creatures fell under the blanket term humanity. The first was the standard sort, like Narou, called andra. The other was composed of those who possessed animal qualities like Plum’s cat ears and tail. They were classified as anima.

“I’m back, Master Narou!” Plum announced excitedly, voice echoing into the twilit sky. She carried a collection of neatly piled logs, twigs, and dead leaves in her arms—fuel for a fire.

While she was away, Narou set stones the two picked up on their trek to build a fire pit. He wasn’t sure how best to go about it, and eventually resorted to copying what he recalled from a survival game he’d played on PC last year.

“Wow, that’s…a lot,” Narou remarked upon seeing the tall heap Plum was holding. It far exceeded what such a slight person could lug around. According to the cat-eared girl, people with magic power—naturally called mana—could use it to strengthen their basic physical capabilities.

Pleased with her master’s remark, Plum set down the firewood and beamed at him. “It’s all because I used the method you taught me!”

“I only suggested that one of us go find something to burn so we don’t catch a cold during the night.”

“I never would have thought of that, Master Narou. It’s only because you taught me. You’re truly an expert at both combat and wilderness survival!”

Knowing that he was fighting a losing battle against Plum’s bizarre discrediting of herself, Narou sighed. When his gaze turned from her efforts to his, a pang of inadequacy shot through him. Narou had given the firepit his best effort, but it was still a genuinely pathetic result. The stones weren’t laid quite right, so there were gaps all over. If a burning log fell when the one beneath it collapsed, it could very well spill out. Even an amateur woodsman would have wept at the sight.

“You did such an incredible job, Master Narou,” Plum complimented earnestly.

Narou scowled. “Don’t mock me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of such a thing, Master Narou! You can trust me when I say that this is the greatest fire pit I’ve ever seen.”

“How many have you seen?”

“Oh, at least two or three!”

“So, basically none at all.”

A distant hoot of what sounded like an owl ended the argument. Plum and Narou both stacked wood in the flimsy pit, with the former igniting it with her magic. Narou watched a small, but no less intricate, magic array appear at Plum’s fingertip to belch a small gout of flame. The dry leaves caught instantly, and the fire was crackling before long.

Struck by a bit of curiosity, Narou decided to ask, “Why do those circles appear when you cast spells?”

Plum’s feline ears perked up a bit as she looked from the flames to her beloved master. She cocked her head to the side with such bemusement that Narou thought he saw a question mark appear floating in the air next to her. A blink later, and it was gone, however.

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“There are really intricate symbols in front of your hands when you use magic. I want to know what they’re for.”

“Magic,” Plum stated matter-of-factly.

Narou stared back at the girl through half-lidded eyes and carded his fingers through his dark hair. Had this been anyone else, he might’ve thought her willfully obtuse. “But why those specific characters?” he pressed.

Silence.

The inquiry brought a hush over their little camp. There was only the noise of the campfire.

…

“You don’t know what they are, do you?”

“Well, there are just so many! Those symbols are so intricate that it’d be impossible to learn them all!”

“Then why do they appear when you use spells?” Narou pressed. He was determined not to let this go. Needlessly complex arrays for magic were something that had always irked him about isekai stories. Getting an answer wouldn’t improve the current predicament, though, so perhaps he should’ve dropped the matter.

“Because it’s magic,” Plum insisted, as though that was both common knowledge and all that was necessary to end the discussion.

Narou would not be denied, however. “Didn’t you say you studied magic?”

“That’s right, Master Narou.” Plum nodded a few times in quick succession, her strawberry-colored locks swaying with the gesture. “The Maf—er, a special organization trained me.”

Plum very conspicuously tripped over her words, catching herself before revealing something critical. Undoubtedly, it was an important plot point that would develop her character. Regrettably, Narou was too busy dying on his strange hill of overly complex magic circles to notice.

“That means spells require practice and learning, right? Why would anyone devoted to researching a topic neglect something as obvious as those brightly-colored circles?”

Plum adorably tapped an index finger to her chin. Then, seemingly realizing something, she made a fist and gently brought it down onto the open palm of her other hand. “Oh! I see now, Master Narou. You’re asking because you plan to study the mysterious sigils and learn how they affect magic. Then you’ll create a bunch of absurdly powerful spells that manufacture super-powerful weapons from your world!”

The large-breasted girl’s eyes gleamed with excitement. Plum’s expectations were soaring along at thirty-thousand feet.

In reply, Narou smirked, snorted through his nose, and replied, “Hell no. I just want to get out of here and go home.”

Ka-boom!

Narou’s anti-aircraft missiles struck Air Force Plum, sending it spiraling toward the ground.

“Y-you want to go…home?”

“That’s right.”

Another silence took hold of their little camp. This time, a chill breeze ran over the hills as if to accentuate the uncomfortable mood that had suddenly blanketed the pair of travelers.

…

“Will you at least give me a child to remember you by?”

“You made your bed with the people of Elias. Now lie in it—alone.”

Plum looked down. “...I promise to become the kind of woman who’s worthy of your seed one day, Master Narou.”

Narou didn’t like the tacit assumption that he’d be here for a while. Surely, if it was easy enough to wind up on Erd by accident, then it was just as simple to leave it. Yet, wouldn’t there be people like Plum walking around in Japan if that were the case? Perhaps the connection was a one-way street. The notion was horrifying.

No, it’s still too early to decide that, Narou assured himself. Tomorrow, he would reach Elias, and hopefully, someone there would be able to help or point him toward another who could.

“Fuwahhh.”

As Narou yawned, he unconsciously brought a hand up to his mouth. He’d never realized how exhausting walking was—probably because he often skipped gym class back on Earth, hiding in the school infirmary. His legs didn’t feel sore yet, but they definitely would tomorrow. With any luck, the second portion of the trip wouldn’t be too lengthy.

Narou waited until Plum fell asleep before settling in to rest. He also made sure to lie down on the opposite side of the fire in case she tried to pull anything while he was unconscious. Only when he was a wink from passing out did he realize one of them ought to keep watch for danger.

♦♦♦

A king ruled the country of Itannia, but as it was one of the largest nations on the continent, it was broken into domains overseen by appointed aristocrats who managed the day-to-day issues. Narou and Plum were presently in the Albatross domain, a comparatively small territory that survived because of commerce with its neighbor, the Ishgald domain, which ran along the coast and boasted a resplendent port city commonly referred to as the “Jewel of the Northern Shore.”

Elias, the town the pair had just arrived in, was actually the capital of the Albatross domain. Although it wasn’t exactly what sprang to mind when one thought capital, it managed to retain that urban kind of energy.

Most of Elias’s businesses and domiciles were wood-framed structures with walls made of wattle and daub or stone bricks. Farmland and pastures encircled the entire settlement, filling the nostrils of travelers on their way into Elias proper with that loamy scent of dirt, hard work, and animal poop.

“Phew… Glad we’re finally clear of the fields,” Narou grumbled as he fanned the air in front of his face. Indoor city-boy that he was, the young man was not well-acquainted with the aromas of manual labor.

Narou and Plum had been walking since shortly after sunrise. Despite neither keeping watch through the night in a region with horny and aggressive mongbats, nothing happened—a supreme stroke of good fortune. Equally surprising was that Plum had no issue walking barefoot. She strolled along over grass and earth, easily keeping pace and never once looking like she was in pain.

“Where should we go, Master Narou?” Plum inquired. The cat-eared girl was hiding behind his back. She didn’t want to be recognized after how she’d left Elias.

Narou hadn’t the faintest idea where to head, as he’d never been here before. He’d also been hoping to part ways with Plum once they’d reached a place of safety, but she demonstrated no willingness to allow that.

“I don’t have a clue,” Narou admitted defeatedly. He turned his gaze toward the sky as though to ask the heavens why this had to happen to him. “I don’t suppose you have any money?”

Plum answered with a question of her own. “Why would a slave carry clava?” During their hike, she’d explained that Itannian currency was called clava, and it came in the form of copper, silver, electrum (It’s an alloy of gold and silver. Read a book.), and gold coins.

Narou sighed. He could have easily pointed out that Plum had chosen to become a slave of her own volition to fulfill her messed-up fantasy, but it wouldn’t change that the two were flat broke and out of food.

Suddenly, Plum’s feline ears perked up, as if she’d just remembered something important. “Oh, I do know of one way to make easy money, Master Narou.”

“Really? It’s not… It’s not anything dubious, is it?” Narou had learned his lesson about “easy money” after clicking an ad on an adult website. It had taken him all night to remove the malware from his computer.

“Of course it’s not, Master Narou! What do you take me for?”

“A pervert with bizarre internalized misogyny and self-deprecation issues.”

“Such a quick response! Did you have that loaded and ready to go?”

“It’s just so obvious that I didn’t need to hesitate.”

Adopting a shy yet coquettish pose, Plum said, “You really see me better than anyone else. That’s why you’re the greatest, Master Narou.”

“No, I’m confident anyone would come to the same conclusion after ten minutes with you,” Narou shot back, eyes half-lidded.

With that, the duo made for the place that offered quick cash. It took a little while because Plum gave directions while trying to remain concealed in Narou’s shadow. Her attempt to be inconspicuous proved utterly futile, however. Desperately hiding behind another as you walked was far more suspicious than just acting naturally. Moreover, Narou’s foreign attire made him stick out like a sore thumb.

“Ah, so this is the place you were talking about?” Narou asked as he gazed up at the structure.

The building was not situated directly in the center of Elias, but it gave off that feeling, for it rose higher than any other edifice around. A concourse, worn down to loose dirt from all the foot traffic, spread out before the entrance. Several small groups milled about the plaza, and each person was dressed like a character from roleplaying games. Swords, armor, wizard staves—you name it.

Narou had a bad feeling that he knew precisely what sort of place this was, for it was a staple of isekai stories.

“Yup!” Plum replied, ignorant of her master’s growing worry. “This is the local Adventurers Guild. You can pick up quests for things like monster extermination and item gathering. For a superior, perfect, infallible specimen like yourself, it should be easy to rack up money!”

Had it been anyone but Plum calling Narou “superior, perfect, and infallible,” he would’ve assumed they were mocking him. Still, something about her earnestness felt more wounding than if the praise had been sarcastic.

Narou turned to the companion that he’d never wanted and addressed her. “Plum.”

The cat-eared maiden faced him as well, her over-sized boobs swaying and making a boing sound that no breasts should ever emit. “Hm? What is it, Master Narou?”

“Let’s find somewhere else to make some money.” There was a direness in the young man’s eyes that Plum had not seen before, causing her to falter a bit.

“Eh? Um… It’s not my place to question your decisions, but… Why would we do that?”

There were a few reasons why Narou wanted to turn tail and leave the Adventurers Guild behind him. The first was simple—he didn’t want to fight. All he sought was a way back to Japan. There was no reason to endanger himself needlessly. As for the second reason…

“Aren’t adventures supposed to be, well, adventurous? An organization like this reduces heroism to a job.”

A hub for picking up quests worked in a video game, where centralization of activities made sense for player convenience. But in real life, it felt no different than having to go to the local municipal building to change the address on your driver’s license.

“It’s very convenient, though, and we need money,” Plum asserted. “Plus, every good hero from another world starts at an Adventurers Guild.”

“Sorry, but I’m not your hero. Let’s ask around. Maybe we can find a warehouse that needs a few extra hands or something.” Narou knew that some other students in his class worked part-time on bento assembly lines. That was the right kind of work for a teen. Narou turned on his heels and happily bid the monument to generic fantasy standards adieu.

Thus did the unlikely duo scour Elias for paying work so that they could afford a place to stay. They first asked at the large storehouse that facilitated much of the town’s non-domestic trade.

“I’m not looking for extra hands right now,” the overseeing merchant said as he combed his bristly mustache. Then his expression shifted, and he hit upon an idea. “You’re travelers, right? A shipment of iron should’ve arrived from the west over two weeks ago. I’ve heard there’s been trouble on the roads of late, so if you’re headed that way, I’d be willing to compensate you for looking into things and getting the ore here. I put a request in with the Adventurers Guild if you’re interested.”

Next, Narou and Plum inquired with the head of the charcoal burners. “Sorry,” the soot-stained woman said while wiping sweat off her brow. “But if you’re that eager to help, a few of my loggers have gone missing in the nearby forest. Others reported seeing fairies and think they’re responsible. The woodcutters are growing too frightened to work, and our timber supply is starting to dwindle. Could you try investigating? Mention my name at the Adventurers Guild for the quest slip.”

Finally, Narou and Plum went to a cobbler. Narou recalled enough about sewing from his home economics class to believe he could get by. This was the last place in town, so it had to work.

“Hmm. Well, we were looking for some extra hires, but we actually got way more applications than I expected, including some very qualified individuals. Unless you can provide some references, I don’t think you’re what we’re looking for. We’ll be sure to keep your applications on file, though. You know…it’s a bit irregular, but maybe I have something else you could do. I’ve heard rumors that dire boars up in the mountains to the north have been acting more violent and clever. A hunter friend of mine claims he saw a group of them walk right around his snares. We get a lot of the leather for boots from the hunters up in the peaks. If you’re feeling adventurous, perhaps you could trek out to the mountains and see if something’s been affecting the boars. Mention my name to a guild receptionist, and they’ll set you up with the quest.”

…

……

………

“Why’s everything sound like some hackneyed start to a lame adventure? Does everyone in this town have yellow exclamation points over their heads or something?!” Narou cried in front of the cobbler’s shop, startling a few people. He collapsed to his hands and knees. “I can’t believe we couldn’t find a single place that was willing to give us a chance.”

A gentle hand caressed the despondent young man’s back, prompting him to look up. His eyes were currently level with Plum’s healthy thighs.

“It’s all right, Master Narou. We’ve got three different quests to take care of at the Adventurers Guild now.” The words were meant as a comfort, but each syllable was a vocabularic arrow in Narou’s flesh.

Plum began to fidget, tugging at the hem of her skirt. “Also, erm, Master… Your breath is… I’m—ah!—I’m ticklish there.”

Suddenly aware of his nose’s proximity to the girl’s crotch, Narou hurriedly pulled back. “Sorry! I was distracted, and I didn’t realize—”

“It’s all right,” Plum cut in, looking away while casting Narou a sidelong glance. “Still, I never thought you’d be so bold in public…”

A few spectators were watching the little street-side spectacle. A mother was covering the eyes of her curious child.

“Argh!” Narou shouted in embarrassment and frustration for being caught in such a commonplace fan service moment. Was this how it happened? He didn’t feel any sort of arousal, of course, but he should’ve noticed the situation sooner. Why hadn’t he?

As Narou took Plum’s hand and hurried away to another street, he stared up at the looming facade of the Adventurers Guild.

♦♦♦

Ding-a-ling!

The bell sang its brassy tune, signaling the arrival of a new patron. Narou Shousetsu entered the Elias Adventurers Guild with a sour look and a cat anima with breasts larger than basketballs crouched behind him.

The main hall held a large reception counter with numbered booths. There were a few rows of couches for those waiting, and a wide bulletin board with many slips of paper tacked to it hung on the wall. People of varying builds were being helped by receptionists or waiting to be served. A spirited air hung about the place.

“Would you cut that out? People already think I’m a freak,” Narou hissed at the girl clinging to him.

Looking for all the world like a scolded child, Plum reluctantly acquiesced, standing up. “If that’s what you wish, Master Narou…”

“You were the one who recommended this place. Why are you acting so skittish?”

“Um, that’s…”

Suddenly, a feminine voice cut through the din of the hall.

“Is that you, Plum?”

An abrupt hush fell upon Adventurers Guild. Then all at once, the room broke into a chorus of “whispered” discussion. The use of quotes here is to suggest that, while they acted like they were whispering, everyone was speaking at a regular volume.

“Isn’t that the girl who promised to return pregnant before she left?”

“The one who kept wandering dark alleys in the bad part of town to get caught and put into slavery?”

“Actually, I heard that even the slavers didn’t want her.”

“Yeah, she hired an adventurer to pose as one last time.”

The gossip was dropping some very interesting bits of Plum’s backstory. The girl in question was now crouched behind Narou’s legs looking positively mortified. Her ears were drooping, and her tail flicked in a show of dejection.

“Yoohoo! Plum! Over here!” called the one that had recognized her.

Narou scanned the room and spotted a girl with tied-back emerald locks waving from behind the reception desk. “Someone’s calling for you,” he said to Plum.

“Urk… M-Master Narou, maybe we’d better try somewhere other than the Adventurers Guild for work…”

“We already did,” he reminded her. “If I have to suffer through this, then so do you. Come on.” Narou made his way toward the green-haired young woman, Plum plodding after.

When the pair reached the girl’s booth, she grinned triumphantly at them from across the counter and adjusted her glasses. She was dressed in a uniform, although Narou wondered if such a low-cut top was appropriate for the workplace. Her breasts, which rivaled Plum’s in size, were almost entirely on display.

And what’s with the detachable collar and tie? Narou boggled over the impractical design aesthetic. The way the red tie dangled down between her cleavage was undeniably suggestive.

“You look remarkably thin for being with child,” the guild receptionist said to Plum. Then she shifted her attention to Narou. “Is this the father? Your hero from another world?”

When it became clear that Plum was too defeated to muster an answer, Narou sighed and took the initiative. “I’m glad to report I’m not anyone’s father. My name is Narou. I’m looking for some quick work. I’d also like any information you have on magical transportation.”

The emerald-haired receptionist gave a little bow, which Narou thought odd. This land resembled a romanticized European fantasy. Why did people follow courtesies more in-line with Japanese customs?

“I’m Emilia. Pleased to meet you, Narou. I’m not sure what nonsense that one has been filling your head with, but traveling to other worlds is impossible.” Emilia paused to glance at Plum before going on. “You could file a request for copies of any research documents the Adventurers Guild headquarters has on the subject if you want. But you shouldn’t get your hopes up, and it would require a processing fee of thirty clava.”

Charging just for access to public records? This really is no different than governments on Earth! Narou thought.

“Ah, well… I, er, I don’t have any money.”

“Which explains your interest in something swift and easy.” Evidently, Emilia had already deduced Naoru’s predicament. “Judging by your clothing, I gather that you’re new to Elias. May I see your guild permit?”

“Master Narou doesn’t have one, he’s fr—mmph?!”

Plum was about to volunteer more information than was necessary, and Narou, unable to think up a better way to stop her, clapped his hand over her mouth. Initially, Plum was surprised at this, but her expression quickly softened, and a mischievous glint shone in her eyes.

Lick.

A cold shiver ran through Narou.

Lap, lick, smack.

Plum was, rather erotically, licking at his fingers. Such a unique and sexy experience was undoubtedly the dream of many high schoolers.

Germs, germs, germs, germs, germs, germs, germs.

Many, yes, but not all.

Narou struggled to keep his hand clamped on Plum’s mouth as her tongue writhed over his digits like a fat earthworm. He wanted nothing more than to pull away with a very high-pitched shriek that didn’t call his masculinity into question in the slightest because men were allowed to show fear, but he didn’t like the idea of exposing he was from another planet.

Sure, Plum handled the arrival of someone from a different world well, but there was no telling if others would accept the revelation so readily. If Narou didn’t guard the secret, he might end up vivisected on some researcher’s table. Worse yet, his existence proved that there was life on other planets, which could upset this society’s entire belief system. It was better to keep that to himself and seek a way back home without causing trouble.

Emilia cocked her head to one side, confused at the pair’s antics. “So… You don’t have a permit?”

“N-No, I do—eeek!—don’t,” Narou managed as he felt Plum’s wet tongue slide between his index and middle fingers. Unable to stand it anymore, he pulled his hand away and hurriedly wiped it on his pant leg.

“We’ll need to assess your stats and skills, then, so we can print you one and get you set up with some quests. Please wait here for a moment.” Emilia stood, bowed respectfully to Narou and Plum again, and left to retrieve something.

Narou furrowed his brow. Stats and skills? It sounds like an RPG. More isekai staples…

“Say, Plum, what exactly am I going to be tested on?”

The girl happily explained that it wasn’t anything Narou needed to have prepared for. It was a process that would measure his innate physical capabilities and any unique powers he might possess. Everyone in this world was born with a skill. They ranged from mundane things like Maid, a skill that granted you an affinity for cooking and cleaning, to powerful things like Blade Speed, which allowed you to move at a superhuman pace so long as you held a sword.

“I see… Wait, Plum, are you registered with the guild?”

“Of course I am, Master Narou. It’s a free way to know what skills you were born with, so most people are. In some places, it’s done at birth, while in others, it’s a rite of passage for when a kid becomes an adult. By the way, I have three skills.”

Narou raised an eyebrow. “You can have more than one?”

Plum nodded, her ponytail bouncing. “Yup! It’s a little uncommon, I’d say one in a few hundred thousand, but it is possible.”

“Uh, that sounds way more than uncommon. Closer to the .03 percent chance drops in gacha games…”

Plum fished her guild permit out of an interior pocket in her outfit and offered it to her master. The little piece of parchment was necessary to work as an adventurer and hire one. That explained why Plum didn’t give hers up when becoming a “slave.” It was essential to keep her insane plan going.

According to Plum’s permit, her strength, dexterity, and mana level were outstanding. Even her intelligence and constitution were high. As for skills…

“Mana Charge, A-Class skill; Combat Precognition, S-Class skill; Flame Master, A-Class skill,” Narou read. “These all sound ridiculously powerful.”

Emboldened by the unintentional compliment, Plum puffed out her already egregiously large chest. “Heh heh. Have you finally recognized my worth, Master Narou? Are you seeing me as a woman at last?”

“No, and please stop with the backhanded devaluing of yourself. It’s just… Why do you need a hero if you’re this strong on your own?”

Itannia wasn’t in any present danger as far as Narou understood, and Plum could have made her own way as an adventurer with her incredible abilities.

“Jeeze, Master, do you really have to ask? It’s common sense that a girl wants to be swept off of her feet by a dashing hero. Especially one from another world who was brought here by a goddess and is perfect at everything he does.”

It felt too specific to be so ubiquitous a dream, but Narou, beaten down by his bad luck of late, merely nodded and replied with an absent “I see.”

When Emilia returned, she was carrying an item that resembled the kind of globe one might find in their third-grade classroom, but without all those cool bumpy mountains you could run your fingers over. The smooth and translucent orb rested comfortably within a brass stand. An indent resembling a credit card chip reader was set into the base of the strange device.

“Heave-ho,” Emilia said as she carefully placed the object on the table. “All right, Mr. Narou. This is a skill checker, a magical device we use for issuing guild permits. Please place your hand atop the sphere, and we can start.”

Narou raised his left hand and—after a sigh that all but said, “What could possibly go wrong?”—he placed his palm on top of the globe. Its surface was cool, but otherwise, Narou felt nothing unusual. Then…

Kzzzt!

Argent bolts of electricity crackled to life in the orb, their light growing so intense that Narou was forced to shield his eyes with his free arm.

“So, um…is this normal?” he asked with rising concern.

“Er, yes! There’s always a mana surge as the device does its work. Admittedly, I’ve never seen such an intense reaction before, and it looks like it’s about to explode, but the process is proceeding like it normally does!”

Exactly who was she trying to convince, Narou or herself?

Crack!

A tiny fissure ran through the glass, splitting to form more fractures. The orb vibrated audibly. Everyone in the hall stopped what they were doing to gape at the guild permit issuing gone awry. Some were even taking cover behind nearby seats or tables.

Narou thought to remove his hand from the sphere before he became the first contestant on Glass Shard Makeovers. However, Plum seized his arm and held it down before he could. The pleasant smile on her face only made the power of her grip all the more frightening.

“Not yet, Master Narou. It’s not done,” she chided with the tone of a young wife who found her husband’s folly endearing. Her gentle expression looked positively devious because of the heavy shadows cast by the glow from the sphere.

“Ahhhhhhhh!” Narou screamed.

The device, struggling desperately to complete its duty, groaned and creaked ominously while more cracks carved themselves through the glass. And just as it seemed the sphere would burst…

Pop!

…the bolts of electricity inside it died out, and the item ceased quaking. A card like the one Plum had shown to Narou slid from the slot in the base.

“Thank goodness.”

“I thought I was done for.”

“Damn. Now I have to go home to my wife.”

Expressions of relief sounded from all corners of the hall, with a few dark admissions of disappointment mixed in.

Emilia still had her arms up to shield her face. Once it was clear that the device would not explode, she lowered them. “Ah…hah… See? There was nothing to be concerned about in the slightest, Mr. Narou. Now then, let’s have a look at your permit.”

The receptionist retrieved the newly generated card and scanned over its contents. Suddenly, her eyes shot wide, and her hands began to tremble.

“No… It can’t be… There’s no way…”

Narou, still trying to steady his poor heart after nearly becoming a human and glass collage, asked, “Is something wrong?”

“Hah… hah hah…” Hollow laughs issued from Emilia’s mouth, which was curled into a tight, forced smile. “Mr. Narou…?”

“Y-Yes?”

“What kind of fucked up prank is this?!”

She slapped the young man’s guild permit on the table for Plum and him to read.

Narou’s strength, dexterity, and constitution were all quite low, a hair’s breadth from rock bottom. His intelligence clocked in at a little above middling. There was no telling how these concepts were measured, but Narou had hoped his intelligence stat would be higher, given that he possessed knowledge of a more technologically advanced world. Worst of all was his mana level, which ranked at a pitiful zero. Such base scores were utterly worthless—the sort one would re-roll in a heartbeat if able. Still, they shouldn’t have been enough for a professional like Emilia to flip out. Narou turned his attention to the section of the card that listed skills.

Skills were something that people on Erd were born with, so he didn’t expect to have any. To Narou’s astonishment, however, he did possess one. And after reading it, he understood Emilia’s incredulity.

Scenario Covering (Hero From Another World Class).

CHAPTER 3

The Hero Is Born

“Hero From Another World Class…?” Narou couldn’t believe it. The title was so absurdly specific that it felt like a joke. Judging by Plum’s guild permit, skills came in ranks graded by letters, with S Class being the highest, like in video games. So what was this overly verbose category that sounded like some awful self-insert fan-fiction?!

Screech!

Plum stood abruptly, and her chair shot back, its legs grinding loudly on the floorboards. Striking a confident and victorious pose, she shoved an index finger square at Emilia’s face.

“Hah hah hah!” the anima girl declared with an obnoxious air of superiority. “I told you I’d find a hero from another world! Oh, how you scoffed!” Plum paused to address everyone in the hall. “How you all scoffed! Yet here is undeniable proof that Master Narou is a champion from some far-off realm! Bow down and worship his infallible magnificence, and mayhap he shall forgive you all for daring to doubt me!”

“I… I can’t believe…that complete lunatic actually…found a hero from another world…”

“I… I can’t believe…that I’ve become the protagonist of some nightmarishly generic isekai…”

Emilia and Narou, kindred souls of despair, both slumped in their seats.

“Say, Ms. Emilia,” Narou mumbled.

“Eh? What is it, Mr. Hero?”

“First, please don’t make a habit of calling me that. Second, what does my skill actually do?”

The young man certainly wasn’t happy about having an ability with such a cringy ranking. Still, if he was going to quest for money until he could find something better or a way back home (whichever came first), then it was essential to know what he was capable of.

Scenario Covering…

The title didn’t conjure an immediate image to mind like Plum’s skills did, so it was hard to guess at its power. Covering made Narou think of the defensive abilities tank-type characters had in MMORPGs. He didn’t like that notion and would have preferred something suited to hiding on the rear line rather than standing at the vanguard.

“Mmm… Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ve never seen that one before.” Emilia replied, her voice muffled because her face was pressed into the desk.

With an exaggerated effort to demonstrate how upset and put out she was, the receptionist stood and plodded over to a shelf in the back. After retrieving a large book, she returned and dropped it carelessly on the table. Then she flipped it open with equal abandon and leafed through to the entry in question.

“Here it is: Scenario Covering. It says, ‘A skill afforded only to a true hero.’ Oh, barf. ‘This ability shields the bearer from harm or inconvenience and guides them on their valiant journey. Efficacy may vary depending on the situation.’ Not a particularly helpful explanation. Sorry, Mr. Hero.”

“...”

“Mr. Hero?”

Narou had bolted upright in his seat. Now he understood why the skill name sounded a little familiar, although he dearly wished he could’ve remained ignorant.

“It’s…plot armor. It’s literal plot armor.” Feeling defeated all over again, he collapsed into his chair once more, his soul practically leaving his body.

Meanwhile, Plum continued to espouse Narou’s greatness and waved his guild permit in the faces of every adventurer present. Unsurprisingly, the gauche display earned no small amount of criticism.

“Hero or not, that kid’s stats are downright pitiful. I bet he dies on his first outing.”

“Plus, who’s to say he didn’t cheat on the assessment? Having such a high-class skill with no raw talents only makes that more suspicious, especially after that crazy light show.”

“Someone should put that skill of his to the test and see if it’s really all that!”

“““Yeah!!!”””

The adventurers were hyping each other up, and the mood swiftly turned hostile. Plum remained oblivious, still wagging Narou’s permit around and proclaiming that she would have four score and seven children with a hero from another world. However, her showboating came to an abrupt halt when a beefy-looking man stepped forward with a sneer on his face.

The man’s chest was bare, tan, and utterly ripped—I’m talking, like, cut, bro, jacked. Scars of varying sizes and gruesomeness adorned his abdomen, arms, and face. His nose was slightly crooked, too, suggesting it had been broken in the past.

Leaning down such that his face was nearly touching Plum’s, he said with a snort, “If this little fluffed pillow thinks he’s so great with his fancy rare skill, then how about he shows us how awesome it is.”

“Must we entertain this little diversion, Krueger? We’ve already picked up a quest.”

A little man about a third of Krueger’s height popped out from behind one of his companion’s tree-trunk-like calves. A brown cloak concealed everything but his head and hands. His skin was periwinkle, and his dark blue hair was bound up in a topknot.

“Shaddup, Zork! I’m in charge!” Krueger snapped.

Zork recoiled in evident fright, yet he beamed, revealing sharp teeth.

“Hah! Do your worst, brute! Master Narou never backs down from a challenge! He rescued me from a horde of mongbats, and he’ll beat you into the ground, too!” Plum sounded like a sleazy promoter as she touted the invincibility of the poor, newly minted hero who’d only gone out to the store to get some nikuman.

“We’ll see about that,” Krueger growled. He stomped over to Narou, who was presently cowering beneath the reception desk, grabbed him by his jacket, and yanked him to his feet.

Narou’s legs promptly gave out from fright.

“Why… Why is this happening to meeeeeeeeeeee?!” Tears and snot poured from Narou’s orifices as he prostrated himself before his opponent. “P-please, mister, please forgive that idiot and spare my liiiiiiiiiiiiiife!”

Narou had never fought anyone before. He came from a country where most people lived peaceful existences. At school, he was so forgettable that even the local bullies didn’t bother with him. Thus, when faced with this threat, Narou didn’t know what to do but beg. It was shameless, uncomfortably so, but he’d be leaving this world behind anyway. Who cared if his reputation here fell into the toilet?

Krueger regarded the plea with surprise, then broke into a fit of laughter. “Gwa hah hah! You hear this little shit, Zork? He’s all but pissing in his pants!”

“Indeed, Krueger. Do you think he deserves mercy?” replied the tiny man, still grinning devilishly.

“Y’know. I do. He’s worth mercy…”

Relief washed over Narou. He looked up with sincere gratitude shining in his eyes as bodily fluids continued to course from his face holes.

“Sorry, he’s worth mercy killing. Living as a weakling isn’t living at all, I say! Better to die and try again in the next life!” Krueger reached over his shoulder and drew the massive hammer he kept slung on his back. The double-sided head of the weapon was made of some dusky gemstone and was as thicc as a girl with a highly lucrative OnlyFans account.

Narou’s face twisted into an expression of utmost despair. With a grunt, Kruger brought his deadly mallet down.

“Master!” Plum cried.

It happened in the blink of an eye.

Narou didn’t know how he did it. His body seemed to have a mind of its own for a moment. No, it was more accurate to say some external force seized his body.

The young man leaped backward an impressive distance, made all the more impressive because he wasn’t even standing. Narou had never jumped that far before. During the track and field curriculum in gym class, his performance had always been sub-average. Yet one would’ve never guessed that after witnessing the incredible feat he’d just managed.

Crash!

The immense BBW head of the hammer slammed into the floor, striking the end of a loose floorboard. Surprisingly, the board didn’t splinter from the force of impact. Instead, its opposite end flung upward like the weightless side of a seesaw, striking Krueger squarely on the dome.

“Gah!” The muscley man exclaimed. He brought an arm up to his forehead, wiping the blood running down his face. “Heh. Lucky little twig-boy, ain’t cha? Let’s see if it holds out!”

“Go get him, Krueger!” cheered Zork.

“Shaddup, Zork! I’m in charge!” Krueger barked. He charged at Narou, readying a powerful horizontal swing that turned into a whirling attack.

Narou was on his feet now, yet he still had no idea what to do. Despite evading certain death, it was now hurtling toward him again with piss and vinegar. The obvious answer was to run, but where? This Krueger guy looked powerful enough to overtake him no matter where he went. Narou cast a pleading look at Plum. Surely, the one time he wanted her to get involved, she would take the hint and do so.

“Stop holding back, Master Narou! Destroy him! Kick him in the balls and ruin his chance of ever procreating!”

“Help me, you moron! And what the hell’s with that bizarrely specific tactic?!”

Krueger snorted rudely. “Asking for a woman to fight your battles for you? And you call yourself a hero?”

“I have literally never called myself that! Not even once! And check your casual sexism!”

The plus-sized hammer came racing toward Narou’s midsection, threatening to smash him into such tiny bits that the guild staffers would never be able to find them all, dooming them to dealing with a faint rotting odor in their building for months.

“Counter chance!” sounded a voice in Narou’s head.

Suddenly, time slowed down, moving at roughly one-fiftieth of its actual speed. Narou blinked a few times before realizing that he was the only person moving normally. Then he looked at Krueger.

Oh, come on. You’ve gotta be kidding me.

A giant white particle effect surrounded Krueger’s hands and the shaft of his weapon. It was the same as when an action game clearly indicated the timing for reversing enemy attacks. Was this part of Narou’s weird Scenario Covering skill? Time’s flow was delayed, but the hammer was still closing in, so Narou had to act quickly. The obvious choice was to take the opportunity now and worry about everything else later. It was the best decision, and yet…

I won’t let this isekai nonsense win!

Even faced with his demise, Narou’s hatred of isekai ran deep. Thus, he used the extra time to run instead of taking the easy solution. Unfortunately, he only got about ten feet before the bizarre counter-attack mode ended, and things resumed their normal pace.

“Buwah?!” Krueger exclaimed, taken aback. From his perspective, his opponent had blinked to safety. Barbarous though Krueger was, he was still a seasoned adventurer and managed to course-correct his charge, turning as he ran and barreling for Narou once more.

“Counter chance!”

Again?! Narou thought incredulously. Determined not to play into his skill’s hands, he continued running.

“So, you can be quick when you need to, huh?”

“Don’t let him escape, Krueger!”

“Shaddup, Zork! I’m in charge! And there’s no way I’m gonna let him escape!”

“Inflict him with total infertility and erectile dysfunction, Master Narou!”

“Counter chance!”

Dodge.

“Counter chance!”

Evade.

“Counter chance!”

Avoid.

Things were going nowhere. Narou was using the slowdown to flee, but he only moved around the reception hall in a circle. It was getting to the point that once eager onlookers ignored the monotonous spectacle and returned to their own business.

“Counter chance!”

“All right already! I get it!” Narou cried. When the white particle effects appeared around Krueger’s hands this time, the young man from Earth walked over to them…

“Uh, wait, what exactly am I supposed to do?”

…and realized he hadn’t the foggiest notion of how to actually “counter.”

Lacking a better idea, Narou placed a hand on Krueger’s own, which Scenario Covering had so conspicuously highlighted.

“Counter!” the voice in Narou’s head rang out, and time resumed its standard rate.

Krueger was surprised at first, but he swiftly recovered. “Hah! You fixin’ to stop me with those string bean arms?”

Narou had to agree that it seemed impossible to prevent the attack, much less turn it back on his ripped adversary. Yet, just before Krueger could shake Narou’s hand off, something came speeding from somewhere.

Clang!

It was a frying pan. A frying pan came spinning in like a flying disc and struck Krueger in the temple, sending the unsuspecting brute staggering. After two direct hits to the noggin, he looked pretty unsteady.

“What the hell kind of counter is that?!” Narou shouted. He looked around. The absurd upset had pulled some spectators back, but it didn’t appear as though any had hurled the curiously aerodynamic piece of cooking equipment.

“Hmm… So his skill allows him to summon skillets to bean his enemies in the skull…” Emilia, not one to shirk her duties, was dutifully scribbling notes as she observed. Scenario Covering was a rare ability, and the Adventurers Guild probably wanted any information on it they could get.

Despite having the distinct honor of being part of an extraordinary skill’s live test, Krueger did not appreciate taking the blow. Roaring ferociously, he dashed forward with his dummy thicc hammer.

“Counter chance!”

Tap.

“Counter!”

Bong!

This time, a wok flew in from an unseen place and hit Krueger’s jaw, eliciting a blood-curdling crunch.

“Damn. I felt that,” remarked a spectator.

“Oof, so visceral,” added another.

“I think I heard a tooth come loose,” said a third.

Now leaning on his hammer, Krueger spat. “Y’fink yer better’n me? I’ll clumb ye ta deff!”

“Do it, Master Narou!” Plum cheered. “Take his balls!”

“Quiet, you!” Narou snapped back. Then he looked at Krueger. “Look, mister, I don’t want to hurt you. Please walk away before this gets worse.”

It was then that Zork piped up. “Are you going to take that insult lying down? He’s making a veritable fool of you, Krueger.”

“Graaaaaaahhh!”

“Counter chance!”

Tap.

“Counter!”

Klung!

A sauce pot to the gut.

“Seriously, you’re only going to make it worse,” Narou pleaded, tears in his eyes.

“Hraaaaaaaaahhh!”

“Counter chance!”

Tap.

“Counter!”

Bing!

One of those square pans for making tamagoyaki to the sternum.

“I’m begging you! Stop!”

“Mrgl grgl flrg…”

“Counter chance!”

Tap.

“Counter!”

Crnch!

“Woohoo!”

Plum jumped up and down excitedly, for she finally got her wish. A sauté pan clipped poor Krueger right in the groin, and he collapsed.

“You were incredible, Master Narou!” Plum squealed as she ran over, wrapping her arms around him. Her massive breasts squished against Narou’s head before enveloping the young man.

“Bah!” Narou shouted as blood spurted from his nose, staining his lips and chin crimson. “Uncle! Uncle! I give, already! Let me go!”

Plum, quite possibly intentionally, was using mana to strengthen her grip to the point that her arms and boobs may as well have been a four-pronged iron vice.

“Oh, Master Narou, you were fantastic. What an ingenious maneuver to summon all those things to smite your obviously inferior and smaller-dicked enemy! My lesser intellect would never have thought to call all that cookware. It was nothing short of inspired! You’re without flaw, Master Narou!”

Finally, Plum pulled back, easing her hold on Narou enough that he could escape the pillowy mountains of fat that were her boobs.

“Guhahhh!” Like a breaching whale, Narou spewed out before taking a deep inhale.

“Ah! I’m so sorry, Master Narou! I—” Upon noticing the remnants of the young man’s nosebleed, her expression turned lewd. “Master Narou~ Were you thinking naughty things when my chest pressed on you?”

Narou could only hold up his hand to signal for her to wait while he gasped for a few seconds more. Once he stopped, he replied, “Are you nuts? You squeezed me so hard that you constricted my blood vessels and forced it out! No one actually gets nosebleeds from being horny!” Furious, Narou flailed his arms like an upset cat who desperately wished to be released. Then he noticed that Krueger was still out cold on the floor. Zork was standing over him. “Hey, is he going to be all right?”

Plum spared the thoroughly trounced brute only the briefest of disinterested glances. “Hm? Oh, he’s only unconscious, so he’ll be fine.”

Of course, that was false, a lie perpetuated by a lot of action-based fiction. Being knocked unconscious was typically the result of one’s brain violently jostling in their skull, which could cause bruising. And it should go without saying that any injury to the brain was serious. Narou would have voiced as much, too, were it not for a magic circle that had appeared before Zork, which was bathing Krueger in pale green light. Given the color, it was likely healing magic, so Narou let the matter slide.

“Ahem. Sorry to break up your little love-fest, but could I trouble you for a moment, Mr. Narou?” Emilia called. Narou and Plum returned to her booth at the long reception counter, at which point the guild staffer continued. “I know you don’t have any money, so trying to wring some out of you to repair the damage from your little brawl would be pointless. Once Krueger wakes up, I’ll get it from him.”

Narou looked around and saw that the guild hall was now in a pretty sorry state from the ruckus. There was the upended floorboard, a sofa with two broken legs, a shattered vase, and knicks and scratches on the walls.

“S-Sorry…,” he apologized, bowing his head.

Something impish flashed across Emilia’s face. “Wellllllll. If you truly want to make it up to me, how about a private session so I can study your unique skill more thoroughly? Surely, a hero from another world has all sorts of things to show a girl.”

“Be careful, Master Narou,” Plum cautioned. Her ice-blue eyes were contemptuous, and her tail flicked from side to side. “I smell a thieving cat.”

“You’re the cat. Or is your empty head incapable of even retaining that much? I merely wish to study Mr. Narou’s abilities for the benefit of the Adventurers Guild,” Emilia replied coolly.

The two women glared at each other so intensely that sparks began to fly between them. Literal ones. The cinders ignited a stack of documents on the desk, and Narou had to pat out the flames.

“I’m sure we can come to some agreement since you’re so generously forgiving my part in the damage,” Narou said as calmly as he could so as not to incite the two women further. “So, could you set us up with a quest? Preferably a quick one? I’d like to have somewhere to sleep before it gets too late.”

That broke Emilia out of her staring match with Plum. “I can find something for you, but, well… There’s no job that can be completed, turned in, and verified that swiftly…”

Does this world only ignore video game logic when it’s to my detriment?!

So many isekai stories operated on RPG traditions, where completing something was as simple as returning to the quest-giver and stating that the work was done. Evidently, that wasn’t how things operated here. Reporting was only the first step. If the job was to gather particular items, they needed to be inspected, then the guild passed on word to the person who submitted the job, and they forked over the clava.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Narou. I’ll try to get you something easy, but it’ll take at least a whole day if you start tomorrow, so you’ll have to figure something else out tonight. Hmm…” Emilia folded her arms and cocked her head to one side in consideration. Then, after hitting upon an idea, she softly clapped her hands together. “I’ve got it! Why don’t you stay the night with m—”

“Absolutely not,” Plum interrupted. “Master Narou would rather sleep in a dung-ridden stable filled with lice than lie in the bed of a promiscuous tramp.”

“Don’t speak for me! And what was that about dung and lice?!” Narou cried, scratching his suddenly itchy head. However, his frantic panic subsided as reality set in. How would he find the cash to afford room and board, let alone whatever was required for adventuring work? Narou stuck his hands in his pockets dejectedly.

Hm?

One of his palms felt the object that might save him.

“Plum, would you mind staying with Emilia and getting us set up with a quest while I go do something really quick?” Narou asked.

“Eh? Well… Okay, if that’s what you want, Master Narou.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

The young man stood and hurried outside to the concourse in front of the Elias Adventurers Guild, leaving Plum and Emilia to exchange puzzled looks.

♦♦♦

Narou let out a satisfied groan as he flopped onto the mattress. Admittedly, the bed wasn’t much—little more than a cot, really. Still, it was far preferable to sleeping out in the wilderness, exposed to the elements and monsters.

“Are you sure it was okay to sell your magic light, Master Narou?” Plum inquired. “It was one of the few things you brought from the other world…”

The cat anima was referring to Narou’s smartphone. He’d hawked it to one of the adventurers outside the guild preparing to depart on a journey. While the device had many uses, most would be lost on people less technologically advanced than those on Earth. However, even they understood the value of a small and discreet source of illumination. It took a little doing to show the old man who’d purchased the phone how to use it, but it was worth the effort.

Now all Narou had left from home now were the clothes on his back and two-hundred and sixty yen in coins.

“Yeah, since there’s no way to charge it, it won’t be much use in a couple of hours anyway. The battery’s totally worthless. It says it’s got ninety percent but runs dry super quick. Honestly, I was overdue for an upgrade,” Narou said, nodding.

“I don’t really get it, but if it means we have food and a comfy place to lie together, I’m happy!” Plum looked ready to leap onto the bed Narou was lying on, but he stopped her by pointing to the second mattress on the far side of the room.

“That one’s yours, remember?”

“Tsk.” Plum clicked her tongue in irritation. “Foiled again.”

“Do you realize you sound like a supervillain? Please come to grips with the fact that your machinations are evil!”

Narou sighed, thoroughly exhausted from his companion’s antics and everything else today. He and Plum had scrambled to purchase food from the markets before they closed and locate a landlord willing to rent them an apartment.

I hate to admit it, but I would’ve been lost without her.

Because Narou was a teenager from a world with pre-packaged meals and fast-food restaurants, he’d never cooked for himself and thus didn’t know what to buy. Plum had also done the talking to get them set up with an apartment in this building, as Narou had never done that, either. After the down payment for the room and purchasing a week’s supply of food, they were nearly out of clava.

There’s not even enough to pay for the information the Adventurers Guild has on how to get home…

Narou looked around. The apartment was tiny, likely less than three hundred square feet. Tight quarters for one person, let alone two. There was no shower or tub, meaning Plum and Narou would have to pay to use one of Elias’s public baths, another recurring cost to consider. Thankfully, there was a kitchen, although only just barely. It was a tiny counter with a wood stove that had a flattop grill about as large as a single burner.

Plum could maintain a flame to heat the grill with mana, so there was no need to worry about buying and storing fuel, which was handy.

Next to the stove were a little sink and a mini-fridge. Yes, despite this being a world of horse-drawn carriages, it conveniently had running water and food preservation technology. It all ran on magic, but it rubbed Narou the wrong way. Were this a light novel, he would’ve accused the author of being too lazy to research actual medieval plumbing and food storage. However, was he really in a position to criticize handy amenities?

“We should probably have dinner and go to sleep soon, Master Narou. We’ll need to get up early tomorrow,” Plum said.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he agreed.

As requested, Emilia had given the two a quick and straightforward quest. It was a delivery job. All they had to do was bring medicine to a village that was a few days’ hike from Elias. The man who’d put in the request was a traveling doctor treating a young girl suffering from a non-contagious disease. He’d been able to diagnose the illness, but lacked the necessary drug to treat it. While the child’s condition wasn’t critical yet, it could become so if left alone for more than a week, so swiftness was of the essence.

“We don’t have too much since we needed to pick up food for the road, but I was thinking of making a simple stew of meat and potatoes. Does that sound all right to you, Master Narou?”

“Oh, like nikujaga? Sure, that sounds all right.”

“Eh? Niku-what-what?”

“Nikujaga. It’s a common dish back on my world. The two primary ingredients are stewed beef and potatoes.”

Plum’s eyes lit up. “Ohhhhhh! Really? Tell me more, Master Narou! I’d love to hear about your world! Surely, it must be a veritable celestial realm, for only a shining utopia could produce one as magnificent as you!”

“Basically everything you just said was wrong,” Narou stated flatly.

Earth had its positives, but it was far from perfect. On a more personal level, Narou’s life had been entirely unremarkable. He had a few acquaintances at school, but none of them could be considered friends, and his parents were… Well, they were a whole other matter.

“I’m not sure I can say it’s better than here, just…different.” Narou glanced at the sink and refrigerator. “Admittedly, it’s a little less different than I expected.”

“Is it worth the effort of trying to go back, then?”

“I…”

Plum’s question shut Narou up good for a moment. He was forgettable back home, but a hero on this world. It even said as much on his guild permit. Why would anyone in his position wish to go through the trouble of returning to a mundane existence? Sure, this world was ripped straight from the pages of some generic isekai story that would undoubtedly get a twelve-episode anime that left fans forever clamoring for another season, but was it truly that intolerable?

No, Narou thought back at the strange contentedness rising within him. I can’t accept it. I won’t.

He’d been dropped here without consent and still didn’t know by whom. Or for what purpose, for that matter. Those were things that had been troubling him since his arrival. Narou still couldn’t recall what had transpired after finding that book on his way home from the convenience store, yet he remained keenly aware he’d forgotten something critical. It was a vexatious feeling, not unlike setting your keys down and then immediately forgetting where you put them. Unfortunately, there was nothing to do but bear it for now.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to learn a little more about things once I can afford to submit a request at the Adventurers Guild.

“Er…Master Narou?” Plum called, worry peeking through in her voice. “You trailed off. Then you made a bunch of faces and started mumbling like you were going through some kind of internal conversation.”

“Sorry about that. Yes, my goal is still to go back to my world.”

“I see. Then my goal is still to convince you to change your mind! And barring that, to get you to impregnate me!”

Plum clapped her hands together, gave a cutesy “Heh heh,” and blushed as though playing coy about the identity of her schoolyard crush. Unfortunately, Narou could only wish that she were so timid.

Narou’s stomach was a veritable vacuous cavern by the time Plum finished cooking. The young man didn’t realize how much he missed proper food until the aroma of the nikujaga began to fill the tiny apartment. The dinner table was truly only suited for one occupant, despite there being two chairs. The pair’s bowls had to be pressed up against one another to fit.

“Mmm! This is great, Plum!”

Although a plain dish with the sparsest of seasonings, the stewed meat proved astonishingly tender, coming apart in Narou’s mouth at the gentlest prodding of his tongue. The potatoes were so soft, too. He would have sworn they were mashed had they not retained their delicate shape.

“I’m so glad you enjoy it, Master Narou! Please don’t hesitate to praise me more. And if you’re feeling particularly gracious, you could show your appreciation with your body. It’s a safe day, after all…”

“Don’t sour the meal with your filth, demon! And didn’t you say it was safe yesterday?!”

Not even dinner afforded poor Narou a moment’s peace. That was yet another reason he wanted to go home. The quiet humdrum had its perks, and being left to his own devices was one of them.

Upon finishing the food, Narou cleaned the dishes in return for Plum doing the cooking. It didn’t quite make up for it in his mind, but it was better than nothing.

Sleep came fortuitously swift that night, owing perhaps to how mentally and physically draining the day had been. Narou had walked several miles to reach Elias, after all. He wondered why he hadn’t felt the exhaustion sooner, but decided it didn’t matter. Tomorrow was sure to be just as exasperating if these first two days were anything to judge by, and he’d need every bit of rest he could squeeze in.

Narou drifted off blissfully unaware that Plum was only pretending to be asleep with her top carelessly undone. She hoped her master would sneak into her cot to squeeze in something of his own. That never came to pass, and Plum passed out with a lecherous expression on her face.

CHAPTER 4

Huh? Wuzzat? Oh, Right, an Antagonist

A creepy old man walked down an alley. It was after dark, and the narrow street was lit only by the distant light of burning lamps on adjoining thoroughfares.

In one hand, the man held a recently purchased smartphone.

What supreme misfortune! he thought, a scowl twisting his thin, dry lips. The white hood he kept up at all times concealed all features of his face save his mouth and chin, but it was clear he had wrinkles in ample supply. All that effort, and now there’s a hero from another world traipsing about Elias like he’s cock of the walk?

It took months to position the pieces of his scheme, but an irksome problem had appeared at the eleventh hour. The timing was so suspiciously inconvenient that the old man wondered if she was responsible.

“Heh, try all you like, goddess, but you will not succeed this time,” the unsavory oldie muttered from beneath his cowl. Then he snickered to himself, pleased with how portentous, vague, and cool the words sounded. “Heh, I’ll have to tell the others that one when next we assemble.” Surely, that would demonstrate to them how awesome he was. That, and killing the new hero. Then they’d have to stop treating him like an inferior.

They refused to grant me any aid, despite my requisition, and it is clear I was only sent here to fail or to die and rid them of the nuisance of my existence. But they’ll see… They’ll all see…

This hooded man was behind the various shortages in Elias. All of them were part of a greater effort to sow unrest in town. The lack of iron ensured no blacksmiths had metal to fashion into weapons or armor. Without hunters gathering animal skins, there would be far less leather for shoes. And no charcoal would deny all but the most capable mages from an easy source of heat and light.

It was only beginning now, but as the situation worsened, civil unrest would build, and the populace would turn against the von Albatross family, who ruled this domain. The cowled old man would then seize upon that discontent and lead a coup to install himself as the domain’s new master, whereupon he would claim the region for his organization.

From there, the hooded man’s group would expand its campaign eastward to capture the Ishgald domain. And once a principal region of industry was under its thumb, it could set its sights upon the Kingdom of Itannia as a whole.

That hero must be eliminated with all possible haste… I’m loath to quicken my machinations, but the longer he’s permitted to cavort about as he likes, the more likely my plans will fall apart.

He pressed the power button on the side of the smartphone, and its screen lit up, displaying the incorrect time. A thumb swipe dismissed the clock and brought up an image of an anime character dressed in a risque outfit. A dozen or so app icons sat in rows on top of the picture.

Being a denizen of a world without electronics, the old man had never held such a device before, and thus shouldn’t have known how to operate it. All Narou had said was to double-tap the button on the side to turn on the light. Yet the hooded man was swiping through various files with surprisingly little difficulty.

“Ah, here we are. Pictures…”

With the press of a knobbly finger, the photo app opened, revealing all of Narou’s saved images. A shallow smile formed on the old man’s face. He pushed the power button on the phone again, returning it to sleep mode, and stowed it in an interior pocket of his white robe.

The hooded man continued walking the streets of Elias for a while, moving with more of a purpose than he had previously. Eventually, he came upon a rowdy tavern with a wooden sign hanging out front that read The Morning Yew. Many adventurers frequented this pub, and the elderly man happened to require a few of the questing persuasion.

None spared his arrival so much as a glance, for they were too engrossed in their own food, drink, conversation, or some combination of the three. From beneath this white hood, the man scanned the crowded hall.

Narou Shousetsu’s theatrical display at the local Adventurers Guild had made him the talk of the town, and while there were already many who held him in poor regard for it, convincing any to fight him would be difficult. However, there was one undoubtedly dying for a spot of revenge, and word on the street was that he frequented this establishment…

♦♦♦

“Krueger… Are you sure you should be drinking so heavily while you’re recovering?” asked a tiny man with pointed teeth and a topknot.

“Shaddup, Zork! I’m in charge! And I say, I empty my cup ‘till the pain shuts up!” snapped a significantly larger man who was bruised in several places. He raised a large pewter tankard to his mouth. His bottom lip was swollen and had turned a gruesome shade of green and purple—grurple.

Large beads of amber liquid dripped from the sides of Krueger’s mouth, but he didn’t seem overly perturbed by the wastefulness. When he’d spilled all of the alcohol into his gullet or onto the table, he slammed his mug down and belched. “Ahh. The best medicine in Itannia, eh, Zork?”

“If you say so, Krueger,” replied the smaller man. He cast his companion a scornful gaze. “It was my magic that healed you, though…”

“Wuzzat?”

“Er, nothing, Krueger. Nothing at all…” Zork sank defeatedly in his seat. Long had he worked as an adventurer under Krueger’s thumb, beaten into submission whenever he stepped out of line, and long had he despised the brute for it.

Naturally, Zork had considered leaving many times, but who in Elias would take him in, knowing that an infuriated Krueger would come to reclaim his underling? What’s more, Zork’s rare shark anima characteristics gave him sharp teeth and a gray-blue tinge, which frightened children and dissuaded most adults from associating with him. Krueger’s demise was Zork’s only hope of escape, and he’d been trying to coax the fickle hand of death to claim his oppressor for some time now.

Zork egged Krueger on every chance he got, either directly or through subtler methods, moving him closer toward the proverbial cliffside until he took the plunge and made his innards into outtards.

Unfortunately, Zork possessed Auto Heal, a B-rank skill that cast restorative magic on any wounded ally within range. It was typically regarded as a fantastic boon for a supporter party member because it allowed them to focus on other things during a fight.

To Zork, the skill was more akin to a curse, though. Each time he successfully drove Krueger to near death, his skill saved the man.

Magic couldn’t mend afflictions beyond flesh and bone, thus Krueger’s head still ached from his concussion and his body groaned from his many nasty bruises. Zork typically would’ve had no issue with Krueger drinking, as imbibing alcohol while recovering from a brain injury was a dangerous idea, to say the least. Regrettably, Krueger could hold his liquor well, and he beat on poor Zork all the more when he was drunk.

“Damn that kid…,” Krueger grumbled. He waved over a serving girl with rabbit ears, who reluctantly filled his tankard. Krueger tried to place a few copper clava between the young woman’s cleavage, but she snatched the coins away before he could. “Heh… Whaddya think, Zork? She wants the ol’ Krueger special, doesn’t she?”

I think you’ve been unsuccessfully hitting on women in this tavern for weeks without so much as a single notch in your bedpost. And you’ve spent so much of our money that I’ve resorted to shaving down our coins and using the excess to make new ones while hoping no one notices.

Unable to express his vitriol aloud, Zork merely replied, “Anything is possible, Krueger.”

“Yeah… Urp… She wants me.”

Zork sighed and shifted in his seat. The stool was pressing against his coccyx. He’d be stuck here with Krueger for another few hours until his tormentor was thoroughly sloshed.

“Nn?” Something caught Zork’s attention, and he raised an eyebrow. Typically, most people in taverns gave Krueger a wide berth—both because his size demanded it and because he was an odious sort. Yet an elderly stranger wrapped in a white robe was approaching.

After a shallow bow, he sat at Krueger and Zork’s table without asking.

“Buh? Zork, who’s this musty relic?” Krueger asked, only looking up when he heard a stool move.

“I don’t know,” the little shark anima replied.

Krueger sniffed. “Hey, gramps, I quest alone, and I don’t need any wrinkly dead weight, okay? So unless you’re gonna buy me a drink, go pound sand up your nose.”

“Alone? But Krueger, I…”

“Shaddup Zork, I’m in charge, and I’m busy intimidating this weirdo with his hood up while he’s indoors. What’re you tryin’ to say, eh? You think your better’n me?”

Clunk!

Krueger tried to stand, but swiftly discovered that his legs were more wobbly than usual. Whether it was the booze or his head wound was a matter for historians to debate for centuries. However, the result was that Krueger’s knee hit the underside of the table, jostling everything on top of it and robbing him of his momentum such that he plopped right back down.

“Far from it, sir,” the old man replied. His voice possessed that gravelly quality that often accompanied one’s golden years, and it flowed like a gentle creek. There was a peaceful, sonorous aspect to it that seized the attention. “I would never dare to presume superiority over one so evidently capable.”

Krueger folded his arms with a contented look. “Hmph, well… Just know I could’ve taken you. Still, not lookin’ for teammates, so you’d best go find some sand and get to poundin’.”

The old man stood to leave. “Your refusal wounds me, mighty Krueger, but I shall obey. Mayhap I can find a more capable warrior. I’ve heard there’s a hero in town…”

“That piss ant?” Krueger exclaimed, ignorant that the term was actually one word, pissant, not two. “He just got in a few lucky shots! Must’ve had a friend chuckin’ all those things at me from somewhere!”

Zork thought he saw the briefest grin flash across the hooded man’s face.

“Oh? So you’re the one he bested?”

“Bested? I’m the best! That shit ant cheated just to make me look bad! If I ever catch him again, he’s dead!”

Wham!

Krueger slammed a heavy fist on the table, which was really suffering a beating today. Luckily, the piece of furniture was a total masochist, and thus, very into it.

“Cheated? And yet he has the gall to call himself a hero? How utterly deplorable!” The old man looked appalled.

“Finally, someone who gets it!” Krueger bellowed. “You could stand to learn a thing or two from this guy, Zork.

“I didn’t even say anything!” cried the little anima. “Krueger, we don’t even know who this codger is!”

“Mm. Good point. Hey, hoodyman, what’s your name?”

“I have acquired and shed a few monikers in my time. Presently, I am known as Sayer.”

The largest and most foolhardy person at the table nodded to himself a few times. “There. Now we know him.”

Zork sighed with exasperation.

“And since we are so well acquainted, I was hoping I might offer you my assistance, mighty Krueger. You’re not the only one that so-called hero has wronged. Why, he deceived me as well,” Sayer explained.

Zork scowled. Entrancing though Sayer’s speech was, it wasn’t befuddling enough that the shark anima missed the glaring inconsistency.

“I thought you were going to try joining hi—”

“You should stick with me then,” Krueger decided, cutting off his associate. “I’ll make sure to get revenge for you.”

“Would you be so kind, Sir Krueger? My stats and skills surely pale in comparison to yours, and you are the most deserving of the vengeance.” Each of Sayer’s silver-tongued words was rich like honey, and Krueger was eager to lap them up.

“Damn straight! Ain’t nobody stronger than me!” Kruger laughed at such an obnoxious volume that it buried all other conversations in the Morning Yew for a moment.

Zork knew that while Krueger’s strength stat was high enough to be called ridiculous, his others left something to be desired. He possessed enough mana to boost his physical might, but nothing more. Still, while Krueger wasn’t clever, he understood that his best bet at winning was to strike quick and cave in an opponent’s skull before they deduced a method of defeating him.

As for skills, Krueger possessed only one; an S Rank at that. Zork had never seen it activate, however. It was supposed to be incredibly powerful, but after watching Krueger get thoroughly trounced at the Adventurers Guild, Zork wasn’t sure if it’d make much difference in a rematch.

Suddenly, the shark anima realized something. Wait a minute… Why do I care if he gets tricked into fighting that kid again?

This all worked out perfectly. If Krueger went at it with the hero for a second round, there was a good chance he’d die, and Zork would be free at last. It meant that Zork himself would need to be far enough from the scene that his Auto Heal wouldn’t trigger, though. He’d have to sneak away at the right moment.

“Count me in,” Zork said. “I want revenge on that brat for what he did to you, too, Krueger.”

“Shaddup, Zork. I’m in charge, and I say you’re coming to help me get revenge on that brat.”

It was better this way. Zork would have to come along whether he wanted to or not. And if he put up less of a fight, Krueger wouldn’t keep as close of a watch on him, hopefully providing a chance for Zork to slip away.

“Marvelous. I’ve taken the liberty of concocting a strategy that should force the hero into a fight with you. However, it is best discussed in more…” Sayer trailed off to motion to the lively surroundings. “…private company.”

“Nn? Why do I hafta wait?” Krueger grunted. “We can find where he’s sleepin’ and smash him right now.” His eyes, bloodshot from inebriation and concussive trauma, flicked over to the phat hammer resting against a wooden beam.

Sayer frowned at the suggestion, “Oh, well. That is certainly…an option. And while I have no doubt it would be but a trifle for you, would you not prefer a grander spectacle? The hero humiliated you before all of Elias. It’s only fair you have the appropriate stage to do the same to him.”

Krueger considered the suggestion for a moment, rubbing the unbruised side of his jaw with a large hand. “Hmm… So he dies, and everyone thinks I’m the best?”

“That’s absolutely right,” Sayer assured with his hypnotic voice.

The words had even begun to befuddle Zork. Obviously, this hooded stranger was up to something, but Zork didn’t care so long as it got him what he wanted, too.

“I’m not big into waitin’, though,” Krueger said.

Yes, the few women unlucky enough to have shared a bed with you can attest to that, Zork mused. The little man had been made to sleep in the hall and listen to the sickening pleased grunts issuing from behind the door during each…encounter.

Soon, that will all be behind me.

Zork’s face split into a devilish grin that showed his many pointed teeth.

CHAPTER 5

The First Misadventure

“I’m really not feeling great about this, you know.”

“People travel this way all the time, Master Narou. What’s the problem?”

“The problem is that we have no map, no compass, and we’re walking on foot.

Narou and Plum had set out from Elias early in the morning, as planned. While it was summer on Erd, the temperature was cool yet. Only a few clouds dotted the vast blue overhead, though, so it was liable to warm up as noon approached. Incidentally, Narou left Earth on the first day of winter.

Few followed Narou and Plum’s route this time of year, which was a stroke of luck. A stroke of luck for those hypothetical other travelers, that is. It spared them the pair’s terrible back and forth.

“Map? Master Narou, we’re not searching for some lost ancient ruins. We’re headed to Minoc. We know it’s to the south, so we’re heading south,” Plum explained as though that ought to be common sense.

“What kind of fast-travel logic is that? Someone else has made the trip before, so we don’t need to worry about direction?”

It was another case of the isekai logic that seemed to permeate this world—light novel fantasy stories rarely concerned themselves with the more practical aspects of adventuring. People decided on a destination and then went there. However, Narou found it difficult to trust that this world would be so forgiving.

There was no road to Minoc. The village was somewhat remote, nestled as it was near the border of the von Albatross domain. Had there been a path, the lack of navigational tools still would’ve been cause for worry, although not nearly as much. Narou and Plum were walking utterly blind, with naught but a vague idea of heading based on the sun.

During his time in the United States with his mother, Narou played an old educational game about settlers moving west across the country. He knew what happened to people who underestimated the wilderness and ventured out with no plan.

They had a trail, and they still died! The young man was beginning to work up a nervous sweat.

Plum had volunteered to navigate, and since Narou couldn’t even locate the second-hand game shop three blocks from his house without his smartphone, he’d readily deferred to her. Now, he was paying for it.

“Fear not, Master Narou. There’s more than enough food to get us to Minoc and back,” Plum declared, thumping her ample chest as though the gesture was the least bit reassuring.

“Assuming we don’t get lost…”

Narou cast a longing look over his shoulder at Elias, which was growing distant. He would’ve preferred to head back and purchase a map—a compass would be far too expensive—but he was concerned about the time it’d take. This was a job to deliver medicine to a sick child, after all. Judging by the quest description, the situation didn’t seem critical, but there was no telling what might’ve happened since the inquiry was filed with the Adventurers Guild.

“Well… If we happen to run low on food, and you get really hungry…,” Plum began, devilishness peeking through in her tone.

This is gonna be something sexual, Narou thought.

“You could always…”

It’s gonna be something sexual.

“...feed on me.”

Bo-yoing! Plum jostled her massive breasts.

“Women don’t lactate unless they’re pregnant,” Narou stated humorlessly. Admittedly, he had no idea if that was true of Erdian women like it was for Earth ones. Everything Narou understood about anatomy and biology had gone out the window thanks to the existence of anima. He’d actually been dying to ask how Plum’s ears worked and if she had holes in the top of her skull. The possible answer grossed him out too much to dare, though.

Plum cast a victorious look at Narou. “So what you’re saying is, I have to get pregnant.”

“It’s not happening.”

“Tsk.”

“Can we please just…talk about something else? Or nothing. Silence with you focusing on where we’re going so we don’t get lost would be nice, too.”

Quiet.

The two continued their seemingly aimless march toward the southern horizon. Somewhere along the way, Narou wondered if he could even judge the heading by the sun. After all, there was no telling if this planet orbited its star the way he knew. However, if they were genuinely headed in the correct direction, as Plum claimed, then Erd’s sun rose in the east and set in the west.

Exactly like Earth…

More quiet.

She’s…really not going to say anything? Narou was growing a bit uneasy. Plum hadn’t made so much as a peep, and it was at or nearing midday now. She hadn’t even suggested stopping for lunch.

Narou Shousetsu came from a world of constant noise, whether it was the urban din of his hometown or one of the many Let’s Plays he listened to constantly. Out in the field, there were very few visual and auditory stimuli. The chirrup of a few bugs here, a distant scurrying there, and maybe—maybe—a cawing bird circling overhead for a minute or two.

It was dull, but more than that, it made Narou anxious. He’d never existed in such abject silence before, and to him, it felt like endlessly waiting for a doctor to prick him with a needle. There was persistent anticipation. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, to break the tense stillness in the air, but couldn’t find the words.

Narou had told Plum to be quiet, and he knew how seriously she took any order from him. If he said something now, it’d make him more of a jerk than he already was.

Still, I’ve got to strike up a conversation, I can’t handle this oppressive atmosphere.

Fortunately, Narou’s salvation came…

Grrrrrrrrrr.

…in the form of his stomach growling.

Plum looked back at him, sending a few strawberry-colored locks swaying like she was in a shampoo commercial, but she kept her lips thoroughly buttoned.

“Er, Plum, maybe we could stop for lunch?” Narou suggested bashfully. “You can talk now, by the way. I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

Plum abruptly stopped dead in her tracks. She was staring right at her beloved hero from another world with an intense look in her eyes. “Master Narou…”

“P-Plum?”

“Vas Flam!”

Sheeeeen!

Bang!

A magic array formed before Plum’s outstretched palm, and a blast of flame erupted. The fireball raced past Narou’s head—so close he could feel the tiny hairs on his right ear lobe get singed.

“Waugggh!”

“Greeeeowwwwll!”

Two astonished cries echoed across the grasslands. One was from Narou, naturally frightened by the burning death ball that narrowly missed his cranium, which was where he liked to keep his brain.

The other shriek came from a large, six-legged creature about the size of a lion. Its skin was a slick, velvety black, but patches of its flesh that caught the light at the right angle seemed to vanish.

“Wh—Bw—Fh—!”

Narou stammered quite a few two-consonant exclamations, but most have been omitted for brevity.

“It’s a phase beast,” Plum remarked, her tone suggesting this was routine. “They can turn invisible to some degree, which makes them excellent hunters. Sure is lucky you heard it growling and warned me with that coded message, Master Narou. This victory completely belongs to you!”

“N-no, that was my st—”

“Hmm. You know, phase beast flesh is pretty valuable. It’s a shame we don’t have any way to skin it. Carrying around the whole pelt would be pretty cumbersome anyway.” Plum paused and glanced up at the sky. “Oh, is it noon already? I completely lost track of time. Would you like to rest and have lunch, Master Narou?”

A break did feel in order, but Narou’s appetite had up and left after he’d nearly been a meal for the monster.

♦♦♦

“Phew, it does feel good to get off my feet for a bit,” Plum said after flopping down onto the soft grass. Her ears and tail stiffened and then relaxed as she stretched her limbs.

“Honestly, I’m surprised you can walk around barefoot at all, especially out in the wilderness,” Narou remarked, sitting beside the young woman.

After deciding to take a reprieve from their journey, the pair of adventurers had come upon a clean stream and elected to eat along its bank. Their meal was a mixture of dried venison, cheese, and some kind of bread called hardtack. It was incredibly plain, and Narou felt like he was chewing polystyrene, but without any tools to cook on the road, this was the best they had.

“Cats don’t like anything covering their hands and feet, Master Narou. I’m more comfortable like this.”

“So you’re more feline than just having ears and a tail, then?”

“Did you think an anima’s qualities were that superficial?”

Narou still didn’t know what to make of the whole “people who possessed bestial traits” thing. It was one matter to see cat girls in a manga and another entirely to meet an actual one in the flesh. He’d seen a few different kinds of anima in Elias, too. A fox-tailed child, a curvaceous older woman with rabbit ears, and even a man with antlers. Narou glanced down at the piece of deer jerky between his fingers, wondering if the man would be upset to know that he was eating something of a distant relative.

“Does that mean you say ‘nya’?” Narou inquired.

Plum immediately curled into a ball at what Narou had believed to be an innocuous question. Her legs pressed up against her large breasts, obscuring her face, and Narou immediately sensed that he’d asked something inappropriate.

“Oh, um, sorry. Did that make you uncomfortable? I’m still learning some of the rules of this world… I guess I should’ve been more sensitive.”

“It’s all right,” Plum replied, although she remained in the fetal position. “Some cat anima talk like that, but I’m…not one of them.”

The vague, almost portentous, statement tempted Narou to press the matter, but Plum clearly wanted him to drop it. As such, he decided to change the subject.

“You know, I’ve been wondering something. Didn’t you say you could use magic to boost your physical attributes? Couldn’t you run really fast and deliver the medicine that way?”

Plum uncurled a little, although her arms remained wrapped around her legs. “Hmm. I suppose that might help, but mana strengthening doesn’t give you superspeed, and using it drains magical power pretty rapidly. I’d run out before covering as much ground as we would just walking for a day. Depletion is really tiring, and it would leave me unable to use my spells if something happened.”

Narou nodded. “Ah, I guess that makes sense. Plus, since I don’t have any mana, you’d have to carry me while you ran or leave me behind.”

“Ohhhh… The feeling of Master Narou in my arms… Or on my back… His thing pressing right up against me… Throbbing…” Plum’s face was rapidly growing flushed.

I hate when she says stuff like that, but at least she’s back to her usual self, Narou thought. Plum had almost seemed like another person when she curled up. Something about her at that moment reminded Narou of a helpless child.

“Master Narou?”

“Hm? What is it?”

Plum’s latest fantasy had been mercifully short.

“Why don’t you have any mana?”

“How should I know? Until yesterday, I didn’t even think mana was real.”

“You mean… No one from your world has magic?”

“That’s right.”

Apparently, everyone on Erd possessed some mana, even if it was too little to use for spells or strengthening. While being born with a lot gave a person an advantage if they aspired to be a mage, they could also increase their maximum by exhausting their mana. Their natural reserves grew over time like a muscle. It took a long time to see results, however, and professional training was expensive.

“A world with no magic…,” Plum muttered.

“What was that?”

“Ah, nothing Master Narou. If you’ve finished eating, shall we hit the trail?”

“My legs are already aching just thinking about it, but yes.”

The pair stood, packed any vittles they hadn’t finished and made to leave. Something caught Narou’s attention before he took more than a few steps, though—his reflection in the creek.

“That’s odd…”

He peered at the water more intently for a better look at his wavy mirror image. There was no doubt it was Narou Shousetsu, ordinary teenager and isekai victim, but something was missing.

What happened to my acne?

At age fifteen, Narou was in the prime of his adolescence, and hormones were causing little red-faced friends to sprout on his cheeks and forehead. One or two were even so generous as to leave parting gifts, small scars so he’d always have something to remember them by. Yet, Narou couldn’t find any blemishes in the river reflection. His face was smooth like the heavily airbrushed pictures of an influencer desperate for validation on social media.

My hair, too…

The young man’s locks, which had ever been black, had brightened a shade or two to the point that they were beginning to appear the tiniest bit brown. Their shape was a little different as well.

It almost looks like a cosplay wig for an anime character. Narou tugged on a few strands, revealing that they were growing out of his head. Maybe the air is different on Erd, and it’s affecting my alien biology? Even to him, that felt like an absurd explanation. Still, doctors had always told Narou that getting outside and soaking up some vitamin D was good for the body, so perhaps that was the answer.

Presently, Narou didn’t feel any different, so he was content to chalk this up to environmental conditions. He had been getting a lot of sun the past couple of days.

Plum, noticing that her companion wasn’t keeping up, turned and called, “Is something wrong, Master Narou?”

After jogging over to her, he answered, “No, no. I’m fine… But, Plum, do I look different to you?”

The cat anima cocked her head to one side, bemused. A distant bird’s chirp provided a sound akin to the tone that accompanied the classic anime-style questioning head tilt.

Plum blinked at Narou a few times, then beamed brightly. “Nope! You’re still the most handsome man in the world and utterly without flaw, Master Narou!”

♦♦♦

The rest of the trip to the isolated village proceeded without incident. It took three nights to complete the journey, and Narou and Plum sighted buildings early on the morning of the fourth day. Supposedly, people had settled here because it was at the bottom of a gentle valley next to a large river. The location afforded some natural protection against dangerous wildlife and roaming bandits, while the estuary provided clean water for drinking, bathing, and washing.

Visitors, even expected ones, to such a remote place garnered the attention of anyone who could afford to drop what they were doing. In particular, what Narou imagined had to be all of the local children scurried to the gate as he and Plum passed through it. Most of them were too shy to say anything, but a few greeted the pair with wide grins and volleyed questions.

“Are you the adventurers?”

“Where did you come from?”

“Have you fought any monsters?”

“Can you use magic?”

“Why aren’t you carrying any weapons?”

“Where do babies come from?”

There were a few inquiries mixed in that really had nothing to do with Narou and Plum.

Narou was unsure how to deal with little kids, and got embarrassed when they pressed him on why he carried no swords or armor. Admitting you were poor to wide-eyed children was just too much. And so, he floundered, fumbling to answer their rapid-fire quizzing. Plum handled the situation with aplomb, though, meeting the welcome party with a pleasant smile.

“We’ve heard that one of your friends is sick. Could any of you show us where they live?”

All at once, the children ceased with their questions and hurried into the village, beckoning for Narou and Plum to follow.

“Seems like you’re good at dealing with kids,” Narou remarked.

Plum crossed her arms, hoisting up and accentuating her already overly-accentuated bust by doing so. After a confident snort through her nose, she said, “Of course I am, Master Narou. I’m going to bear your child one day, after all.”

“I immediately take back my compliment.”

As he moved through the settlement, following the gaggle of children, Narou had a look around. The buildings had thatched roofs, while those in Elias sported tiled ones. But other than that, the edifices were remarkably similar. The same was true of the clothing the locals wore. Their outfits didn’t seem like the kind that rural folks would have access to.

Women wore corsets, ribbons, blouses, and skirts with frills. They even had heeled shoes. It went without saying that all those luxuries should have been mere dreams for people living on the frontier.

Likewise, the men had sturdy boots, form-fitting pants, vests with flared-collar shirts underneath, and leather gloves with intricate needlework.

Excluding the thatched roofs and the size of the village, nothing differentiated it from Elias.

It’s the bare minimum for making this look like a place out in the countryside. It was yet another quality common to lazy isekai stories that didn’t consider the logistics of their world thoroughly. By now, that wasn’t much of a shock for Narou, however. It would’ve been more astonishing to discover the village looking how it should have. This world was consistent in its anachronisms, for what that was worth.

Additionally, Narou noticed that nearly all of the people milling about were anima. They were the minority back in Elias, leading Narou to ponder if anima were a kind of lower caste. He considered asking Plum about it later, but tossed that notion aside. He’d managed to upset the girl by probing a bit too deeply into her heritage a few days ago and didn’t want to repeat that error.

The children led the two out-of-towners to a small domicile on the far edge of the village. A woman was standing outside the door, likely drawn by the approaching commotion.

“You must be the adventurers who answered the doctor’s request. My name is Nanam. It’s my daughter, Enri, who’s sick.”

Like so many others in the village, Nanam was an anima—a wolf one with pointed ears and a large, fluffy tail. She didn’t look more than a few years Plum’s senior, although Narou assumed she was older than that since she had a child. She was dressed a little more plainly than the other local women, wearing a blouse with an apron over it, but it did nothing to hamper her natural allure. The beauty mark near the bottom of her left cheek and the ponytail slung over her left shoulder gave her a uniquely mature sort of charm.

Something about that ponytail set Narou on edge, but he couldn’t place why. He thought he spied a shadowy presence radiating from it for a moment, but it vanished after he blinked.

“Hello, ma’am. I’m Narou, and this is Plum.” Because his companion was still busy with the children, Narou introduced himself with a polite bow and then motioned to the girl beside him.

Once Plum had seen the helpful, if a bit chaotic, kids off, she turned her attention to Nanam and greeted the woman properly. “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am. Like Master Narou said, my name is Plum.”

Nanam arched an eyebrow. “Oh? ‘Master’?”

Hoping to dispel any troublesome misunderstandings about his relationship with Plum, Narou said, “It’s not like that. She just prefers to address me that way.”

“Oh my, oh my. Young people certainly think up all manner of bold new ideas, don’t they,” Nanam replied, bringing a hand to her now slightly pink cheeks.

She’s absolutely got the wrong idea about this!!! Narou was crying on the inside.

“Wow! She’s absolutely got the right idea about this!” Plum exclaimed with delight.

“Quiet, you!”

Nanam giggled. “You seem to get along very well.”

“All you’ve seen us do is argue,” Narou remarked dryly. “Do you mind if we head inside to give the doctor the medicine?”

“Oh, sorry, please do. We get visitors so rarely that I forgot myself for a moment.” Nanam ushered the two adventurers indoors. Inside was a large main room with a fireplace, a cooking area, and a sizable bed stuffed with straw.

The small girl lying on the mattress likely would’ve run to the gate with the other kids to meet Narou and Plum had she been able. Presently, she appeared to be resting, although her expression was tense. Narou spied a lump in her mouth, just large enough to be visible through the cheek.

Standing over Enri was someone Narou presumed to be the doctor, given the wooden backpack filled with medical supplies set beside them. However, the person was also short enough to be mistaken for Enri’s sibling.

“Ah, you’ve arrived. Quicker than I expected, too. Excellent.” The doctor turned to face Narou, Plum, and Nanam.

They were dressed in an adorable white and blue outfit that exposed their shoulders and collarbone. Stockings climbed up their thighs, stopping right at that zettai ryouiki sweet spot. Their hair was a dirty blond shade and came down to their shoulders. Most striking of all were the doctor’s eyes, which were an enthralling gold color.

C-cute… Narou couldn’t help but think as much, even blushing a little at the sight of the doctor. After realizing he was making a stupid face, he shook his head.

“Uh, that’s right, Plum here has the medicine.”

At her master’s beckoning, the girl, who had insisted on carrying the food and medicine the entire trip, retrieved a small package from her rucksack and handed it to the little doctor.

“Thank you. I’ve been trying to keep Enri as comfortable as possible, but her illness has slowly worsened. She broke out with a fever yesterday, and I’ve been worried.”

“Sounds like it’s a good thing we got here when we did,” Narou replied, more than a little relieved. He hadn’t been keen on questing for money, but if the job helped an ailing girl and didn’t involve slaying a demon lord, then it wasn’t all that bad. “I’m, er, I’m Narou, by the way. Narou Shousetsu.”

The doctor was unwrapping the package and examining the contents—an indistinct dull-white powder—but stopped to glance up. Narou felt his legs quiver beneath the power of those adorable eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Narou. My name is Fran.”

“Aww, Doctor Frannie!” Plum squealed. “That’s such a cute name.”

Now it was Fran’s turn to look flustered. Their cheeks turned a rosy shade for a moment, but they quickly reassumed their professional demeanor after a cough.

“Ms. Nanam,” Fran called.

“Yes?”

“Would you mind fetching some water? We’ll need to dissolve the medicine and have your daughter drink it.”

“Of course, I’ll be back in a moment.” Nanam bowed, retrieved a pail set beside the door, and headed off, presumably for the river.

Her exit brought an end to the conversation. Fran returned to inspecting the powder, fingering through it lightly to keep from spilling. Narou wanted desperately to speak more with the doctor, yet found himself tongue-tied. It wasn’t the usual social-anxiety kind, either. Well, okay, it was, but it felt like a different subset, one that got his stomach squirming. Narou glanced at the sick girl in bed. Again, his eyes were drawn to the lump in her mouth.

“Doctor, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s wrong with Enri exactly?”

Fran looked a little surprised to hear such a question from an adventurer, but smiled gently and answered, “It’s isolated miasma poisoning.”

“M-miasma poisoning?!”

Narou hadn’t the faintest idea what that was, but it sounded sinister. He only knew the word miasma from video games, where it was usually some kind of evil, purple magic fog.

“W-why are you freaking out?” Fran cried. Narou’s panic was proving a bit contagious. “Miasma poisoning can be dangerous, but it should be okay if it’s treated before it can spread!”

“Wait, is that what the lump in her mouth is?” Narou asked, a bit calmer.

“That’s right. Miasma enters through a wound and poisons that part of the body. Usually, it’s pretty easy to treat, so long as you have the medicine. But a remote village like this one doesn’t have any apothecaries.”

Fran explained that Enri’s original problem had actually been a toothache. The locals had yanked the rotten tooth out, but she had contracted miasma poisoning a day or two later.

“It’s lucky that I arrived in Minoc when I did. Things could’ve gotten much worse if I hadn’t diagnosed Enri’s illness and sent a message to the Elias branch of the Adventurers Guild via carrier pigeon. I’m equally grateful that you two arrived so quickly.” Fran’s eyes shone with sincere gratitude. This was a doctor who took their profession seriously.

Plum grinned. “Of course! Master Narou is a hero, and a hero always shows up in the nick of time! Just like when he rescued me!”

That was an entirely different situation that you fabricated, thought Narou. Then he realized something. Wait, swelling after a tooth removal… Is it an infection?

Narou had gone through the same thing when his four impacted wisdom teeth were removed last year. He’d developed a dry socket that got inflamed. A few days of basic antibiotics had cleared that right up, however. Was that the sort of medicine he and Plum delivered?

“Um, Doctor Fran, do you know how that medicine was made?” Narou asked.

Fran raised a cute eyebrow and put a finger to their pink lips. “Hmm. Well, I’m not an apothecary or an alchemist, so I don’t know the specifics, but it’s a compound that uses dire boar tusks. I’ve heard that old, mossy tusks are best, although I’m not sure why.”

A lightbulb went off in Narou’s mind, accompanied by a ding!

“It’s penicillin!”

“Fuwah!” A startled Fran jumped, nearly dropping the medicine. “Wh-what are you shouting about?”

Feeling mortified over his outburst, Narou sheepishly bowed his head. “S-Sorry… But I might have stumbled onto something important. Whoever creates that medicine is likely using the mold on the tusks, not the actual tusks themselves. Where I’m from, it’s called penicillin, and it can actually be found on tree bark.”

Narou recalled learning that back in middle school. A scientist whose name he didn’t remember had discovered the first antibiotic from tree bark.

Wait… Was the tree thing penicillin or aspirin?

Like most teenagers, Narou didn’t pay close attention to his classes, and often played with his phone from behind the cover of his desk while waiting for lunchtime. And now, his lackadaisical attitude toward his studies had come back to bite him. He was going to make a fool of himself in front of a total cutie—there could be no greater punishment.

Gah! Who would’ve thought that something I learned in school might actually be useful?! No one told me that! Even worse, I can’t look it up on my phone to confirm and then pass it off like I totally knew the answer the whole time!

Narou wracked his brain, desperately trying to clear the mind fog and determine whether penicillin or aspirin came from tree bark.

“Um… Is he all right?” An utterly confused Fran cast a nervous look at Plum.

The cat anima grinned proudly. “Of course! Master Narou is from another world and possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of its advanced wonders. He can turn our society upside down by creating advanced weapons, foods, and, yes, even medicines!”

“Then why is he clutching his head and shaking while muttering, ‘It’s no use, I can’t remember’?”

“...”

“Well?”

“I’m…not sure. But Master Narou is infallible, so it must have a purpose.”

“So you admit it makes no sense to you, either.”

Creeeeaaaak.

The front door opened, and in came Nanam with a very heavy-looking bucket of water. Filling a pail at the river and walking back was tiresome, so she’d flooded it to the brim so she wouldn’t have to make another trip for the rest of the day.

“I’m back,” she cooed in that sweet sort of way that totally suggested she was a domme in bed. “Ah!”

Nanam only had one leg through the door when something caught her foot, and she started to fall. At her descent angle, her neck would collide hard with the bucket rim, causing her head to whip forward, snapping her neck and killing her.

Narou, being the closest to the woman, sprang into action, catching her by the shoulders and propping her back up.

“Are you all right, ma’am?” he asked.

Nanam’s face was flushed, and with eyes half-lidded and a smirk, she replied, “I am now. Oh my, oh my. You’re quite the hero, Narou.”

“It was nothing.” He pulled away, feeling embarrassed after grabbing someone so forcefully. “What did you trip on?”

Nanam set the bucket of water down and then looked behind her. “Hmm. You know, I’m not sure. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become rather prone to accidents. The other mothers in the village call me an airhead.”

While Narou examined the steps beyond the door, something flickered in his peripheral vision. It was gone by the time he focused upon it, yet he was sure it was that dark shimmer around Nanam’s shoulder ponytail again.

“Well, for now, let’s get Enri the medicine,” Plum stated with puffed-up cheeks. She was obviously upset that Narou had rescued another woman.

“Right! I’ll mix some straight away,” Fran said. The doctor retrieved a clean cup from their large, wooden backpack, filled it with water from the pail, and then measured out a fifth of the ground medicine. They went over to the bed and gently tapped Enri on the shoulder until the girl stirred.

The child’s gaze looked a distant, but she appeared to comprehend what was being asked of her. Fran brought the cup to Enri’s lips, and the child sipped from it. She recoiled at what was undoubtedly a bitter taste, but she dutifully continued to drink until the cup was empty.

Once finished, Enri’s eyelids sunk lower and lower until they were shut again. In no time at all, she was sound asleep.

Tough kid, Narou mused. When he was her age, he’d kicked and screamed during every visit to the doctor. Even now, he shuddered when he imagined a needle.

Fran cleaned the cup, then placed the remaining medicine on a stand by the bed and sectioned it into four equal portions. “Mix one share into some water daily and have Enri drink the whole thing, Ms. Nanam.”

“Oh, can’t you stay with us a little longer?” Nanam asked, disappointment plain.

“I’m afraid I’ll need to move on tomorrow morning, but I have every faith that Enri will get better.

Fran began to rummage through their effects, checking that they had everything necessary for their outset. Narou had to acknowledge the doctor’s preparedness. They had a bedroll, portable cooking supplies, a lantern, and all manner of other things typically found in those wilderness survival catalogs only dads read. It was enough that Narou felt stupid and guilty for traveling from Elias so thoroughly unprepared. All he and Plum brought was food and their delivery. They didn’t even come with canteens. Granted, they couldn’t afford any of that stuff, and the idea of sucking liquid from a receptacle made of animal innards was stomach-turning, but it was better than dying of thirst.

It’s lucky we happened upon so many streams and rivers. Wait, why did we run across such a convenient number of them…? There was always one visible in the distance when we started talking about stopping for lunch or resting for the night…

Plum’s feline ears suddenly perked up. “What about us, Master Narou? What should we do? Our mission is technically complete now, and we need to get back to Elias to report it and collect the reward. Should we leave right away? We still have some time before dusk.”

“Hmm. That’s true…”

Practically speaking, an immediate departure was the obvious choice. Narou’s goal was to find a way to return to Earth. With the money waiting at the Adventurers Guild, he could finally pay for an inquiry on any information about moving between worlds. The sooner he was in Elias, the sooner he could escape this uninspired isekai.

“Oh my, oh my. Won’t you consider staying the night at least?” Nanam entreated, taking Narou’s hands in her own and pressing them to her chest. Narou could feel plentiful softness spreading through the nerves in his fingertips. “After everything you’ve done to help my daughter, I feel like I owe you something. Please let me treat you to a proper home-cooked meal. I’m sure you both must be tired of dried meat. That goes for you, too, doctor.”

Fran nodded. “I’d be delighted, ma’am. I wasn’t planning to leave until tomorrow anyway. I want to take one more look around town to ensure that everyone is in adequate health.”

“Master…” Plum gingerly grabbed the hem of his track jacket from behind like a child. “It’d be rude to refuse…right?”

What is this bizarrely oppressive atmosphere?!

Between Nanam and Plum, Narou felt caught between a rock and a hard place. Admittedly, he had a tiny reason of his own to stay a bit longer. The young man stole a glance at Doctor Fran.

“I…guess it wouldn’t hurt to stay one night,” he conceded.

CHAPTER 6

You, Me, and the Demon on a Starry Night

The sound of meat sizzling on a hot slab filled the house. Although the window by the stove was open so that the smoke would flow outside, the appetizing scent lingered. It tickled the nose like in cartoons where the steam from a pie wrapped around someone and levitated them toward the windowsill where the pastry was cooling. However, since this was reality, it didn’t go quite that far.

Floating toward baked goods was acceptable in fiction, but in real life, being snared by vapor and hoisted through the air toward what could only be some cursed confection was cause for serious alarm. All of this was to say that the cooking smelled pleasant.

Plum had volunteered to help Nanam with meal preparation, and the two lovely women went about the task happily. It was to be a far more complex dinner than what Plum had prepared on the night before she and Narou departed Elias if the great heap of ingredients was any clue.

If not for their different ears and tails, Plum and Nanam might have been mistaken for mother and daughter. They looked so natural together. The noise from the stove made it difficult to hear their conversation, but they exchanged giggles now and then, so it was surely an amusing subject.

Narou, worthless in the kitchen, sat on a stool by the table in the center of the room. Seated next to him was Enri, the little wolf anima girl with the infection that people on Erd referred to as miasma poisoning. That she was up indicated she was feeling better, although the swelling in her mouth remained. It’d undoubtedly recede after a couple of days, though.

Doctor Fran, the other dinner guest, was still out checking on other villagers. That level of dedication was respectable, but with no one to talk to, Narou was stuck twiddling his thumbs. Were he on Earth, he could’ve at least spent the time deleting and reinstalling a gacha game to get some good free roles before quitting the game three days later.

Staaaaaaaaaare.

Enri, who also had nothing to do but wait, latched onto Narou immediately. And without Plum to save him this time, the hero from another world was trapped—sitting rigid and sweating nervously.

This girl’s been staring at me for, like, ten minutes. I wish she’d say something already.

Little kids always set Narou on edge. He never knew how to talk to them because everything that came out of their mouths was odd or inappropriate. Worst of all, they were always sticky. He wasn’t even sure how that was possible. Surely, their parents bathed them. Perhaps kids under a certain age secreted some horrible viscous adhesive that made physical contact feel like touching one of those stretchy swingy gummy hand things after it was dropped on the ground several times.

“Hey, mister,” said Enri.

Narou jumped in his seat and looked at her with a forced smile plastered on his face. “Y-yes? What is it?” His voice sounded more like text-to-speech than a human being’s.

“Are you gonna be my new daddy?”

“Hack! Horf! Hurff!” Narou coughed violently, grasping his chest with one hand while smacking the table with the other. “Why would you think that?!”

“Because you came from far away to help, brought medicine, and saved Mommy from that monster. My daddy said he was leaving to get something once and never returned.”

I’m the replacement for a father who abandoned his wife and kid?! Why?! Get back here and do your job, you dead-beat dad!

“Er, what do you mean by ‘monster’?” Narou asked, hoping to shift the subject away from parenting.

Fear entered Enri’s eyes. “There’s a dark monster that floats around Mommy’s head sometimes. I saw it when she tripped, but you saved her.”

“Wait… Do you mean that shadow around her hair?”

Enri nodded.

So I wasn’t just imagining it. But what could it be? Narou sank into thought. Since he’d arrived on Erd, no one had mentioned anything about evil spirits, but that didn’t prove they didn’t exist.

Even if it is a ghost or whatever, it’s not like I know how to get rid of it.

Dispelling wicked entities was for priests and shamans, and Narou was certainly no holy man. Powerful though his Scenario Covering skill supposedly was, it didn’t seem like the sort of ability that could drive out ghosts. Plum’s powers wouldn’t do much good either, unless the spirit could be lit on fire.

Narou shook his head, unsure why he was giving this so much consideration. He’d only seen a fleeting shadow, and Enri was sick. That wasn’t enough evidence to assume her mother was the target of some malicious, otherworldly entity. Still, the young man couldn’t shake the feeling that Enri was right. Looking at Nanam’s hair made him nervous for some reason.

“Oh!” Nanam suddenly cried, and Narou looked up.

“Are you all right, Miss Nanam?” Plum asked, offering the other woman a rag to wipe the liquid spilled on her apron.

“Oh my, oh my. Thank you, dear. I don’t know how it happened. The oil seemed to just leap right off the pan. It’s a good thing you pulled me back, or it might have seared my face.”

“Miss Nanam, look out!”

Thnk!

“Oh my, oh my. I don’t remember hanging a knife up on that rack. And it fell so suddenly toward my neck at such a dangerous angle. Thank you for catching it, dear.”

Wobble wobble.

“Miss Nanam, you look very unsteady. Are you feeling okay?”

“Oh my, oh my. My head is very light all of a sudden.”

“Maybe you’d better lie down before you collapse. Just leave the cooking to me.”

“No, I couldn’t possibly. You’re a guest.”

“Don’t worry. I enjoy it. Plus, I’ll need to improve my skills if I’m going to be Master Narou’s wife.”

“Oh my, oh my. Already planning on marriage?”

“Heh heh. Yeah, but Master Narou’s too much of a dense blockhead to see me as a woman.”

Is that seriously how she views our relationship?!

“See what I mean?” Enri whispered.

Narou, who’d gotten a little sidetracked, turned to the child and nodded. “Yeah, that was…unbelievably suspicious. Has it always been like this?”

“Uh-uh. I’m pretty sure it started a little while ago.”

Narou narrowed his eyes. “Can you think of anything that changed when it began?”

Enri went silent and brought her hand to her round little chin, definitely mimicking what she’d seen adults do. As uncomfortable as Narou was with kids, he had to admit that it was pretty cute.

“Her hair,” the young girl finally answered.

Surprise crossed Narou’s face. “Really?”

“Yah-huh. I tied Mommy’s hair, and she loved it so much that she promised to keep it that way forever. The next day, weird stuff started happening.”

“!!!”

Narou stood from his stool so quickly that it fell over. He understood now. It all made sense. That shoulder ponytail had given him an ominous feeling from the very start, but he hadn’t been able to place why.

Every mom that’s ever had that hairstyle in anime has died!

Narou hurried over to the bed. Before he could reach Nanam, however, the sheets shot out and coiled around his leg, pulling it out from under him. Narou fell hard onto his back.

“Ghk!”

“Eek!” Enri cried. She fled underneath the table and cradled her head in her arms.

“Master Narou? What’s happening?” Plum, who had her hands occupied with the cooking, could only watch the scene unfold.

“Oh my, oh my?” Nanam said in confusion. No sooner had the words left her mouth than another corner of the bedding rose like a python, snaking around her chest and up to her neck in a way that was decidedly deadly and conveniently erotic.

The sheets were doing the same to Narou, albeit in a far less sexualized manner. His enemy was only a piece of fabric, yet it wasn’t easy to shake. The tip sprang forward to ensnare his throat, but Narou threw his body to the side to evade. He hoped to keep that momentum going and roll away so he could stand, but the sheets refused to permit him that opportunity. The cloth gripped his leg tight, pulling him back in.

“Don’t worry, Master Narou! I’ll get you out!” Plum shouted.

“No!” he barked back at her, voice more commanding than either he or the cat anima had ever heard.

“M-Master Narou?”

“Help Nanam first! You need to undo her ponytail! Or at least get it off her shoulder!”

“I don’t…”

“It’ll work! Trust me! This is information from my world!”

That seemed to do the trick. All doubt vanished from Plum’s eyes immediately. “I understand!”

Naturally, her typical method of dealing with threats—deadly flame—was off-limits here. Igniting the bedding risked burning Nanam and Narou, and it could quickly spread to the rest of the house. In the face of this combustion conundrum, Plum elected to dash forward. Another section of the sheets rose to meet her charge, but she jumped when it lashed for her.

It was an impressively swift feat, worthy of the sound effects used in a series like Dragon Orb, where the characters dashed around in the air at high speeds doing martial arts and firing laser beams from their hands while screaming.

After learning that Plum possessed a skill called Combat Precognition, Narou had expected her to be competent in a close-quarters skirmish, but this was the first time he’d seen that prowess really put to use.

This must be what she’s capable of with mana strengthening, he realized.

When Plum landed, she stomped her bare feet hard on the ground, pinning the animated bedding beneath them with enough force to send a ripple through the room.

“Skreeeeeeeee,” something shrieked. Narou had to assume it was the sheet. Plum reached the bed before he had enough time to ponder the implications of something with no lungs being able to vocalize.

The sheets were wound tight around Nanam’s throat now, and she was trying to pull herself free to no avail.

“Ma’am. Please move your hands. I will get you out of this on my master’s orders. So, really, this is like him doing it. He deserves all the cre—”

“Stop with the toxic bullshit and just do it!” Narou cried, still wrestling with the part of the fabric set on killing him.

Slash!

Plum swiped her hand across the cloth around Nanam’s neck like an actual cat might’ve done with its claws. The material burst to shreds with another shriek. Plum then lifted Nanam’s head and tucked the woman’s ponytail behind her head.

As though in response, the shadows in the room’s dark corners, stretched and grew, coating the walls until all was dark.

“Boy,” called a voice like ebon gloom. “Know that you have not bested me. For if time is eternal, then eventualities must needs be infinite in kind. There will come an era when all mothers wear their hair in the eldritch formation, and they shall drink of stygian abyss. I have patience…”

Having said all it wished, or perhaps all it could, the shade cloaking the room vanished, leaving the four remaining people to sit in silence.

Narou blinked a few times, stupefied. What the hell kind of enemy did I just make?! I need to get off this world!

It was Enri who spoke first. “Mommy!” she sobbed as she ran from beneath the table into Nanam’s waiting embrace. Narou could see fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

“There, there, dear. It’s all right now. The monster’s gone.” Nanam stroked her daughter’s hair as the little girl bawled her eyes out.

Once the mood settled, Nanam stood with Enri still clinging to her side. “Oh my, oh my. We owe you twice now.”

“Think nothing of it. It’s only natural to help someone in danger,” Plum replied with surprisingly tactful humility. “Besides, Master Narou is the one who figured out what was happening.”

“I can’t deny that this time, but you did all the actual work. I only knew what was going on because…” Narou stopped himself before saying, “because it’s a trope in anime.” People on this world wouldn’t know what that means, but honestly, he was more ashamed of hitting upon a solution by happenstance. This incident might have ended very differently had he been unfamiliar with that cliché.

Will I be so lucky when trouble strikes again? There’s nothing about Scenario Covering that suggests it’ll protect other people… No. It doesn’t matter. There won’t be a next time. I’m going to find a way home.

Glancing around, Narou realized that he still hadn’t finished his thought. Plum, Nanam, and Enri were all staring at him, waiting.

“Er, because I heard something about it back in Elias. Hah hah.” Narou scratched one of his cheeks with an index finger.

Plum clapped her hands together in a show of adoration. Her tail wiggled in kind. “Wow, even your ears are superior to mine, and I’ve got sensitive cat ones!”

“I’ve got good hearing, too!” Enri declared, flexing her lupine ones as if to provide evidence to that claim. Maybe she was growing a bit attention-starved now that she’d calmed down.

“Yeah, I, uh, don’t doubt it,” Narou replied.

“Let’s see who’s got the best!”

“Right now? Shouldn’t you, y’know, rest a bit? Aren’t you sick?”

“I feel okay now! C’mon, Big Bro!”

“‘B-Big Bro?!’”

Narou had inexplicably gone from a potential father to Enri’s elder sibling. He was utterly at the child’s mercy.

“I’ll be the judge!” Plum raised her hand.

“You traitor!”

“Hooray!”

Nanam giggled and brought a hand to her cheek. “Oh my, oh my,” she whispered, voice like dripping honey. “My home feels quite lively.”

♦♦♦

Fortunately for Narou, dinner came quickly. A few bits were burned because of the interruption by an anonymous cosmic entity that proliferated death through a specific hairstyle when worn by mothers, but the food was still delicious. As it happened, Narou was one of those people who enjoyed the taste of crunchy burned bits, so it worked out.

“Don’t be shy, Doctor. Take as much as you like. I’m sure you’ll need the energy when you set out tomorrow,” Nanam insisted.

“Oh, thank you,” Fran replied. They bowed their head, took a seat, and began to fill a plate.

Fran had returned just as the table was being set, and Enri wasted no time launching into a recap of the events that had transpired during their absence. The doctor had a tough time believing the tale, especially because it came from a child recovering from a fever. Plum and Nanam both corroborated Enri’s account, however.

“A cursed hairstyle for mothers… I’ll do my best to watch for it in the other towns I visit.”

“I…” The word spilled from Narou’s lips before he knew what he wished to say. Unable to ad-lib anything of value, he shoveled food into his mouth instead. Something about Fran robbed him of the ability to speak, yet left him eager for his next attempt.

The meal was an enjoyable affair. Nanam and Plum drove much of the conversation, with Enri offering occasional nonsequiturs as young children often did.

Before Narou realized it, he was grinning.

For the past few years, all of his dinners on Earth had been spent alone. His father worked late at the office regularly, and when he didn’t, he was out until three in the morning, entertaining business clients at bars and hostess clubs. On the rare occasions he returned at a reasonable hour, he and Narou only shared convenience store food.

Things were no different at school. Narou didn’t have friends and spent lunch by himself at his desk or one corner of a table in the cafeteria. This was his first time sharing food with so many others in a long while.

There was an indescribable warmth to it.

♦♦♦

The air was a displeasing combination of cool and damp when Narou awoke in the middle of the night. He had to pee—severely. However, he was still groggy from sleep, and there was enough of a chill that, for a while, he fought the painful call of nature and stayed in bed. He squirmed as though that would make any room in his bladder.

Narou was lying on the floor of Nanam’s house. The kind woman had laid down some blankets for her guests. It was hardly luxurious, but after a few days in the wilderness, it felt like the most expensive futon in the world. Plum lay beside Narou in peaceful slumber. When he squinted, he saw that she was drooling a little and wore an indecent expression.

“Nyooo, Master Nyarou, we can’t…”

She’s dreaming about something lewd.

Another pang of urinary urgency struck Narou, and he flipped over on his other side. Doctor Fran was sleeping across the great divider that was Plum, so now the hero from another world was staring under Nanam and Enri’s bed.

Once more, an ache in Narou’s lower abdomen reminded him that he needed to relieve himself.

Fine, fine!

Gritting his teeth, he counted down from three and then sprang up while doing his best to keep quiet.

“Cold, cold, cold.”

Narou hurried outside. Unlike the advanced plumbing in Elias, Minoc only had outhouses. Previously, Narou had bemoaned the lapse in logic that a mostly medieval-based fantasy world had toilets that functionally operated no differently from modern Earth ones. Now that he was faced with the alternative, though, he had to admit hypocrisy. Disparate technology was acceptable if it saved him from dashing outside to piss when it was chilly.

After emptying his bladder, Narou zipped up and scampered back around the house. As he rounded the corner to the front of the building, he spied a petite figure standing outside the door, and he stopped dead. It was Fran. The argent moonlight spilling from the sky washed over the doctor, highlighting their creamy skin and delicate features. Fran was staring up at the heavens, ignorant of Narou’s presence.

What should I do?! It’d be rude to interrupt if Fran’s in the middle of something, but I can’t just stand here and watch like a stalker! Gahhh! All right, here we go…

After sucking in a nervous breath, he stepped from behind the corner of the house and into view.

“H-Hey,” Narou called. He raised a hand in greeting, but instead of waving it in a smooth motion, he jerked it awkwardly side to side like some primitive robot.

Fran’s shoulders jumped slightly. “Oh, hello, Mister Narou.” The doctor was even more adorable up close. Their cheeks and nose were tinged a light pink.

Narou suddenly felt very underdressed for some reason.

“What are you doing up so late?” he inquired. Narou cursed the words as soon as they left his mouth. What if Fran had gotten up to go to the bathroom, too? Terror gripped Narou, as he feared he’d already doomed this fledgling conversation to awkwardness.

Fran was silent for a bit. Finally, they answered, “I have difficulty sleeping.”

“Oh, like insomnia?”

“Like what?” Fran cocked their head to one side. Narou’s heart throbbed.

Are you kidding me? This world doesn’t have that word?!

“It’s, uh, a term for a condition some people have that prevents them from sleeping,” he explained hurriedly.

Again, Fran was quiet for a moment. “You’re very strange, Mister Narou. You’ve brought up medical terms I’m unfamiliar with twice now.”

That was true. Earlier, Narou had explained penicillin—to the best of his memory, anyway.

“Oh, I guess you’re right. I think that maybe my home just has a few different words for things. Know what I mean? It’s a, what do you call it? A regional dialect,” Narou hastily rationalized. Although Erd was similar to Earth in so many convenient ways that it almost felt lazy, it was still an alien planet with a different history and culture. Narou didn’t intend to remain here longer than necessary and disliked the idea of introducing new concepts that might irrevocably alter this world.

Plus, that’s exactly what the typical isekai protagonist would do.

Plum mentioned as much before. Isekai victims often upended the civilizations they were dropped into by using their absurdly perfect recollections of advanced technologies and concepts. Narou refused to become that sort of person…despite having already done so at least twice.

“Hmm…” Fran leaned in close to Narou, and the young man’s face turned the color of a tomato. He wasn’t used to being this near to one so lovely.

“Wh-what is it?”

“Where are you from exactly, Mister Narou?” Fran asked. “I know you came from Elias, but they don’t have your strange dialect there.”

“Wh-where? That’s…”

Thankfully, Plum wasn’t here to blurt out that he was from another world. Yet what other answer could he give? Narou didn’t know enough about Erd to provide a convincing lie. Peering into the doctor’s beautiful eyes, which looked a shade paler in the moon’s glow, made fibbing difficult anyhow. Narou’s stomach writhed anxiously under the weight of that gaze.

“Hahhhh” Ultimately, he hung his head in defeat and sighed.

It’s no use. I can’t think of anything but the truth.

Fran blushed gently and pulled away. “Did I ask something untoward? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I only thought that we might exchange medical information. It’s my goal in life to help everyone I can.”

Disappointment crashed upon Narou, both because Fran retreated and because he made the doctor feel guilty. The young man sighed again.

Surely, just providing someone with information from Earth for altruistic reasons was okay, he reasoned. Isekai heroes used that knowledge for selfish purposes, but this was different.

Unaware that his desire to impress Fran was selfish, Narou took a breath, reached into his pocket, and pulled out his guild permit.

Although puzzled, the petite doctor received the card and read it over.

“Are these your stats? They’re, uh, not bad?”

“I know they’re awful, but thank you for trying to spare my feelings. Look at the skills section.”

Fran did as instructed, and their eyes widened a bit. “Hero From Another World Class?”

Hearing the ridiculous category caused Narou to throw up in his mouth slightly. A few beats to his sternum helped force the bile back down.

“You’re from…another world? Your friend wasn’t making that up?”

Narou nodded. “Yeah. That’s why I know about things you’ve never heard of.”

“Oh. That makes sense.”

Fran’s reaction was so at odds with Narou’s expectation that it may as well have been anti-matter. No one was going to take the news as “well” as Plum, of course, but Fran’s subdued response felt a little disappointing.

“You don’t seem too surprised,” Narou remarked.

“There are people who can use magic to conjure lightning bolts from their hands. It doesn’t feel that far-fetched.”

Narou blinked vacantly like a deer caught in the headlights. “That…is a really good point.”

His predicament didn’t seem bizarre when he thought about it that way. What’s more, it gave him hope that there was a mage out there capable of sending him back to Japan.

“So that means those things you mentioned—penicillin and insomnia—they’re terms from your world?”

“That’s right.”

Fran stepped forward again, this time taking Narou’s hands. Steam all but shot from his ears.

“Please, tell me everything you know. From how you spoke, it’s clear that your home has medical advancements we’ve yet to discover. They could help save many innocent lives, children who might die before their parents.”

Determination shone in Fran’s eyes as bright as the moonlight. Perhaps even brighter. Narou got the feeling that Fran had seen more than a few tragedies, but he possessed enough tact not to inquire.

“Truthfully… I’m not sure I can help,” Narou confessed, looking away. “Despite what that stupid card says… I’m no hero. I was pretty average, maybe even less than average, back home. My world has better medical knowledge, but I don’t. I didn’t pay much attention in school. Penicillin is a medicine made from a mold, and it’s used to treat stuff like Enri’s miasma poisoning. I thought it came from tree bark fungus, but I’m not sure. I may be confusing it with something else. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help… Honestly, I can’t do anything…”

It was only the night and the crickets for a while.

Then, Narou felt Fran’s small hands tighten around his.

“You’ve already done a lot,” the doctor assured. “That little girl and her mother might have died if not for you. Most adventurers are only interested in quests to run out and slay goblins and claim hordes of treasure stolen from people who couldn’t defend themselves. But you’re different. You chose to take action to save lives, not end them. Maybe that doesn’t make you a hero to some people, but… It makes you mine.”

Fran’s serious expression swiftly melted as they realized the implication of their words. Deep crimson blossomed on the doctor’s cheeks, and they tried to cover their face.

“Th-that’s not what I… I didn’t mean it like that!” A flustered Fran waved their hands.

Narou, his face scarlet, managed to reply, “I know. That would be ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful, but—”

“B-Beautiful?!” Fran exclaimed so loudly that the two went silent, fearing they’d roused the village. When it was clear they hadn’t, the doctor continued at a lower volume. “Mister Narou, that’s, um, very kind of you, but… I’m a boy.”

“I know.”

“Huh?”

“I know you’re a guy. Actually, now that I think about it, assuming that much feels kind of wrong. Sorry. I guess I should’ve said that I didn’t outright think you were a girl.”

Fran looked bemused, and then he smiled sheepishly.

“Thank you. I don’t dress how people picture a man, so they always believe I’m a woman. A few people have gotten mad at me, saying I lead them on. I’m not trying to trick anyone, though. I just feel more comfortable wearing feminine clothing…”

Fran’s gaze dropped to his feet. Profound sadness clouded his fair features.

Narou felt compelled to embrace him, but he knew better than to try. Instead, he swallowed his cowardice as best he could and said, “I think your outfit suits you. I…like how you look and that you’re passionate about helping people. That’s really cool. Honestly, I don’t know how you manage. Since I arrived in this world, it’s been nothing but one life-or-death situation after another.”

“Well, it’s not always fighting off evil hair demons or whatever happened while I was out. Frankly, traveling by myself gets lonely occasionally… Mister Narou, do you mind if I make a selfish request?”

“What is it?”

“Would you stay out here with me until I feel ready to sleep? I’d like to hear more about you. If you’re willing to tell me, that is.”

“I can’t promise that any of it will be interesting,” Narou warned, self-depreciation evident in his tone. “Nothing about my existence was exciting before I wound up here.”

Fran smiled. “That’s okay. Just having a person to chat with is relaxing.”

The pair took a seat on the stairs up to the house. The steps weren’t especially wide, so Fran’s slender shoulder pressed up against Narou’s arm. Neither of them minded, though.

Narou leaned his head back. The night above was a black ocean of twinkling motes.

“Wow…”

Traveling on foot didn’t suit Narou. It was tiring, boring, and dirty. Still, he couldn’t deny that sights like this one helped it feel worthwhile.

“We’re lucky it’s so clear,” Fran remarked. “Look, the Hunter and Hare are visible.”

“The Hunter and Hare?” Naoru parroted.

“They’re a pair of constellations that sit close together. See that larger, reddish star there? That’s the top of the Hunter’s hat. Then you follow that down and reach his bow. Now move to the right, and you can see the group that forms the Hare.”

Fran was doing his best to indicate where he was looking. However, as anyone who has had another attempt to indicate a single distant point amidst many others can attest, it wasn’t easy to follow.

“Sorry, I don’t see it,” Narou said with a wry grin. “I never did much stargazing back on my world. Maybe I need more practice.”

Fran turned his attention from the stars to Narou, and the young man from Earth tensed.

“Really? Do people not use the stars for navigation where you’re from?”

“They did a long time ago, but not anymore. We have tools that are more precise. Plus, you can’t even see the stars in most places anymore.”

With streetlights, electronic signs, all-night restaurants, and people who were just up late for any number of reasons, there was enough ambient light that the heavens appeared stark black, save the moon.

“That’s kind of frightening,” Fran said.

Narou chuckled, and the doctor puffed out his cheeks.

“Sorry, I’m not laughing at you. It struck me as funny because, to me, seeing all this,” Narou paused to wave a hand at the inky cosmos, “is scary. Beautiful, but scary. I guess we’re used to different things.”

Fran brought a hand to his mouth as he giggled. “We really are from two separate worlds.” Something occurred to him, and his expression turned a little serious. “How did you learn Itannian so quickly?” He was referring to the language of the Kingdom of Itannia.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Narou replied with a shrug. “To me, it sounds like you’re all speaking Japanese, the language of my home country.” That strange inconsistency was one entry among a growing list of things that felt suspiciously convenient. “There’s a lot about my situation that doesn’t add up, yet it all…works somehow. I try not to think about it too much.”

Fran dipped his chin. “Sorry for bringing it up.”

“It’s all right. I’m glad you’re willing to listen. Plum is…helpful in her own way, but she’s not the type I talk to about this.”

When Fran raised his head, his cheeks were flushed, and he was smiling meekly. Narou’s pulse quickened.

“Are you looking for a way home, Mister Narou?” Fran inquired. Narou thought he heard a bit of forlornness in the question, but decided he was mistaken.

“I am, yeah,” he confirmed. “Once I get back to Elias, I plan to put in a request for any information the Adventurers Guild has on traveling to other worlds. Hopefully, they’ve got something.”

That was Narou’s only lead. If it didn’t give him something to go on, he wasn’t certain what to do next.

A library, maybe? Narou didn’t know if there were publicly accessible ones. If not, it would mean seeking access to some rich person’s private collection. Considering Narou was a poor nobody living in a tiny apartment, that wouldn’t be easy.

“I won’t be in Elias for a while, but if I find anything that seems helpful, I’ll send it your way by carrier pigeon,” Fran said.

“Thanks.” Narou was glad for the offer alone. It made his daunting task feel more surmountable, even if only slightly. “You know, I just realized I haven’t told you very much about my world, which is what you actually wanted to hear about, not my weird predicament.”

Fran laughed. “Heh heh. I don’t mind. You’re an interesting person, Mister Narou.”

“You don’t need to call me ‘mister.’”

“Then don’t call me ‘doctor,’ either.”

“All right then, Fran.”

“Yes, Narou?”

…

Both of the boys turned away from one another.

“Why does that feel so awkward?” Narou said, a goofy, embarrassed grin on his face.

With his hands clapped over his mouth, Fran responded, “I don’t know, but it definitely does.”

…

“So, about your world…”

“Right! Yeah, let’s talk about that.”

The two settled into a comfortable rhythm where Fran asked about something related to Earth, and Narou answered. Most of the questions were related to medicine, and Narou had difficulty providing comprehensive explanations. Fran was grateful for any information, nonetheless. The way the doctor nodded along diligently with Narou’s half-remembered accounts was endearing.

Before they knew it, the sun breached the western horizon, casting dark shadows on the hills bordering the village.

They returned inside to catch what winks they could, but soon after, Nanam, Enri, and Plum were awake. Narou and Fran were left with little recourse but to accept that it would be a sleepy day.

♦♦♦

After a simple breakfast made of leftovers from the previous night, it was time for Narou and Plum to begin the journey back to Elias, and for Fran to be on his way, too.

“Can’t you stay a little longer, Big Bro?” Enri pleaded, tugging on one sleeve of Narou’s track jacket.

Plum was the one who answered. “Master Narou has lots of important, heroic business to take care of. There are plenty of cute little girls who need his help.”

“None as cute as me!” Enri insisted, puffing up her cheeks in protest.

“Haha. That’s true.” Plum petted Enri’s head.

Nanam, now wearing her hair behind her back, brought a hand to her cheek. “Oh my, oh my. The house will certainly be much quieter without so many guests.”

An earlier version of Narou might have thought that was a good thing, and part of him still felt that way. Liveliness wasn’t always preferable.

But it’s not so bad once in a while.

Fran came over with something in his hands. “Narou, here.” It was a piece of parchment folded into its own envelope and sealed with a bit of green wax. “This note states that you and Plum completed my quest so you can collect the reward back in Elias.”

“Oh, thanks.” Narou took the writ and tucked it into the pocket where he kept his guild permit.

“Shall we set out for home now, Master Narou?” Plum’s tail betrayed her eagerness. Undoubtedly, she was excited to stomp into the Adventurers Guild and sing Narou’s praises for completing the quest and defeating a hair demon to boot.

The unwilling hero felt preemptive embarrassment build hot inside. He wasn’t looking forward to Plum getting into it with Emilia again, but there was no other choice.

“Yeah, I guess we’d better get a move on.”

“Aww,” Enri whined.

“I’d best hit the road, too, then,” Fran said. He knelt to pick up his sizeable wooden backpack. It was impressive that the doctor’s petite frame could handle the thing so easily. Narou wondered if Fran used mana strengthening or if he was just that fit.

An image of the petite doctor with a lightly toned body flashed in Narou’s mind, and he felt electricity run down his spine.

“Oh my, oh my. Goodbye, you three. Take care,” bid Nanam as Narou, Plum, and Fran all stepped outside one after another.

Fran turned and bowed. “Same to you, ma’am, and make sure Enri takes the rest of her medicine.”

Narou and Plum followed suit.

“Thanks for everything, ma’am.”

“It was lovely cooking with you, Miss Nanam! Get well soon, Enri!”

Cupping her hands to her mouth, Enri called, “Come back and visit!”

Plum and Fran both smiled at the little girl and waved, but Narou did not. The three walked together through the village for a bit until Fran stopped.

“I’m going east across the river. A ferryman is waiting for me down by the bank, so this is where we part ways.”

Plum beamed. “Have a safe trip, Doctor Frannie!”

Narou wore a bitter-sweet expression as he added, “Yeah, take care. Hope to see you again soon.”

“I’ll be sure to send a letter when I’m bound for your direction. Have a safe journey, and remember to mind your health.” Narou thought Fran looked a little sad as he bowed his head, turned, and started down a different path, one toward the water. He watched the other boy leave until a cart trundled between them. By the time it passed, Fran was gone. Narou sighed.

Noticing her hero acting odd, Plum cocked her head. “Is something wrong, Master Narou?”

“Plum…”

“Hm?”

“Do you think we’ll ever visit this village again?”

“Of course! It’s not that far of a trip.”

Narou snorted softly. “I guess you’re right.”

CHAPTER 7

Two Dates

“Still not knocked up with a hero’s baby, Plum? That’s a real shame.” Emilia the Adventurers Guild receptionist quipped while Narou handed her Fran’s note.

“Tsk” Plum clicked her tongue. “It’s not like I didn’t try.”

“I wish you wouldn’t. It’s difficult to sleep when I have to keep on guard,” Narou said.

A few days had passed since Narou and Plum left Minoc, the village on the border of the Albatross domain. They only arrived in Elias a short while ago—they stopped at their apartment to check on things before coming to the guild.

“Everything looks to be in order,” Emilia remarked as she folded up the signed missive. “Let me go file this.” The bespectacled receptionist sauntered away from the long counter and disappeared behind some shelves. When she returned, she was holding a leather pouch small enough to fit in the palm of one’s hand. Emilia placed it on the table and slid it toward Narou. “Here you go. Nice work completing your first quest, Mr. Hero.”

Unamused, Narou responded, “Thank you, and please don’t call me that. Do you think I could put in that appeal for info on magical transportation now?”

“You can but… Are you sure you want to? I don’t think what little knowledge there is on the subject will be very helpful.” Emilia regarded Narou like a child about to make a foolish mistake.

“I’m sure, thanks. It was thirty clava, right?” Narou reached into the pouch and pulled out three silver coins, each one worth ten clava.

Emilia accepted the proffered money with a troubled smile, bowed, and went to the back again.

Narou turned to Plum. “You know, I’m surprised you’re not trying to stop me.” He was her beloved hero from another world, the one she had spent all her life searching for. It was suspicious that she kept calm while he researched a means to return to Earth.

“I don’t mind, Master Narou,” Plum replied with a cute wink. “It won’t turn up anything useful, after all. And once you realize that trying to leave is futile, we can finally be together.”

“Villain.”

“Huh?”

“You’re an actual villain! That’s so cruel! And what makes you so sure it’s impossible? How do you think I was transported here in the first place? Obviously, there’s a method of moving from one world to another!”

Plum considered Narou’s argument, prodding at her lower lip with an index finger. “Master Narou, we should give up on this and see if you can get your money back.”

“Do you have no shame at all?”

“What good is shame if it just keeps you from your desires? It’s an excuse not to pursue what you want, a leash someone snapped around your neck and said was for your own good.” Abrupt intensity burned in Plum’s eyes. The heat of it left Narou questioning what to say.

Coming out with some oddly mature remark isn’t fair!

Ultimately, he elected to change the subject.

“Here.” Narou took half of the initial quest reward sum and held it out to Plum. While no vast fortune, it was enough for someone to get by for a little while.

Plum looked positively taken aback. “Eh? What’re you giving me that for?”

“We took on the quest together, so doesn’t it make sense to split the payment?” Narou was confused that he even needed to explain this.

Once the shock left her face, Plum shook her head gently. “No, I can’t accept that. You saved my life, Master Narou, and I owe everything to you. You’re the one in charge.”

“I definitely didn’t save you. If anything, I owe you. Plus, you’re clearly better suited to leading. I’m dead weight in a fight and know nothing about this world.”

“An inferior woman can’t be trusted with our precious savings. You’re the flawless hero. I’m sure you’ll find a way to invest these coins and multiply them ten-thousand-fold in only a few days.”

“There’s so much packed into that statement that it’d cost extra to take it on an airplane. Everything you said is wrong—take the stupid money.

Thankfully, Emilia returned to end the absurd exchange, which devolved into Narou and Plum shoving the coins back and forth between one another. Plum had the money in her hands when the game ended, and thus, as the loser(?) she accepted it quietly.

Emilia passed Narou a form to fill out and sign using a quill and ink. He wasn’t used to writing with such antiquated instruments, so his signature resembled the work of a kindergartener. Emilia offered no complaint, though.

“Now I have to send this off to headquarters in the capital of Itannia. It’ll take at least a week to hear back.”

A week, huh? Seven days was a lot of time for Narou to kill, and it begged the question of how to spend it all.

Had this been Earth, Narou would’ve been content to remain inside, play games, watch YouTube, and read manga. None of those things existed in this world, however. At least, he assumed they didn’t.

Suddenly, it occurred to Narou that he knew very little about the Kingdom of Itannia’s culture. Given that it had indoor plumbing, perhaps things like video games weren’t entirely out of the question. As Narou considered the possibility, he felt a longing for those familiar creature comforts.

He thanked Emilia for her help, then prodded Plum to do the same, and the girl begrudgingly acquiesced. Once the two had left the reception hall and were standing out in the courtyard before the Adventurers Guild, Narou turned to his companion.

“Say, Plum.”

“Nn?” The cat anima’s ears perked up.

“Would you mind showing me around town a little bit? Since we have some free time, I thought it might be a good idea to learn more about Elias and Itannia. But don’t misunderstand, this isn’t a da—”

“YOU MEAN LIKE A DATE?!”

The force of Plum’s exclamation shook the grass and trees, attracting the attention of other adventurers milling about.

I really should’ve known better, Narou chided himself. At this point, it’s my fault.

“No, not like a date. Just as two acquaintances,” he corrected.

Whether Plum heard him or not, only she knew. She took Narou’s hand—interlacing her fingers with his—and led him away from the guild, down a busy street.

Plum was content to stroll for a little while, humming to herself. At one point, Narou felt his palm getting sweaty and tried to pull away, but Plum’s digits may as well have been a vice for how firm their grasp was.

No way… She can’t seriously be using mana strengthening… Right?

Again, only Plum knew the answer, and it was doubtful she would ever tell.

“Is there anywhere in particular that you’d like to go, Master Narou?”

“I was just hoping to get a better idea of what Elias has to offer,” Narou explained. “What about you?”

“I’m perfectly satisfied to spend time with you doing anything,” she replied, her voice a song.

Narou sighed. He could suggest they stop at a restaurant to eat, but it was still a bit early for that. Plus, while they had more money now, it wasn’t so much that they could spend frivolously. It was best used on more pragmatic purchases.

Plum’s tail, which swayed dreamily during the walk, abruptly went rigid. She looked at Narou, and he recognized the mischievousness in her eyes and grew very frightened.

“Master Narouuuuuu~”

Gulp.

“Y-Yes…?”

She had him in her clutch. Whatever was coming, he’d be powerless to refuse.

“How would you feel aboooouuuuuut,” Plum raised her free hand and dramatically brought it down, “checking out that place?”

She was pointing at a brick building on one side of the road. Its tall chimney belched a constant stream of oily black smoke. The front door was open, and when Narou tuned out the din of the other people on the street, he caught the sound of a hammer on metal coming from within.

Some kind of blacksmith?

“Uh… I guess that’d be fine?”

“Great!” Plum beamed and led the way into the shop.

The walls were lined with wares for sale, most of them weapons. A man slightly shorter than Narou, but much older, was in the back by the forge, working with his latest piece.

“Welcome!” called a voice from somewhere. It was too high-pitched to be the short man. He had his back to Narou and Plum anyway.

A young woman popped up from behind the counter on the far wall. Soot speckled her face, arms, and overalls, and a pair of goggles rested on her forehead. Oh, and it should go without saying that her breasts were of a considerable proportion.

“My name’s Mina,” she greeted after hurrying over and bowing. “Are you looking for anything in particular today? Whether it’s armor, weapons, or even cookware, you can find it here at We Who Smelt It.” Mina motioned with gloved hands to the various merchandise selections as she mentioned them, then proudly planted her hands on her waist as she finished what was undoubtedly a well-rehearsed sales pitch.

Cookware… Narou recalled his fight—if it could even be called that—with Krueger, and how his Scenario Covering skill had conjured pots and pans from thin air.

“Hello, Mina, I’m Plum, and this is Master Narou.”

“Master? Oh, I see.”

The shopkeeper girl’s cheerful sales expression faltered, but she hastily righted it. Narou wondered what was wrong, then realized that Mina likely believed Plum was a slave.

“Wait, it’s not what you think,” he insisted, waving his hands in front of his face. “Yeah, she calls me ‘master,’ but it’s not like that, okay?”

“Oh? I see! Sorry if I got the wrong idea,” Mina apologized, and Narou sighed with relief. “I’m in full support of consensual slave and master play.”

That’s almost worse than her initial misunderstanding! And why is she so okay with it? Is that what you get up to in your off-hours?! I shouldn’t judge, but isn’t this a place of business? Maybe don’t bring that stuff up here!

“Why’s your master look like he’s having a fit?”

“He just does that sometimes. It’s one of his adorable quirks. Anyway, I was hoping you could set him up with a sword.”

Narou snapped back to reality and pointed at his face. “Huh? A sword for me?”

Sure, he didn’t have any weapons to defend himself, but that hardly seemed an issue considering Plum’s insane strength and how unfair Scenario Covering was. Carrying a mundane weapon felt needless. Narou didn’t really like the idea of training to learn how to wield it properly, either. That seemed like a lot of work.

Plum nodded, her ponytail bobbing. “Mhm! Since you’re an adventurer now, I thought you should look the part!”

Buying a weapon wasn’t a great use of Narou’s clava, but picking up a few different real-life swords was a fun idea in its own right, so he chose to play along. “Okay, how about you select one for me,” he suggested.

Plum beamed and went to have a look around the shop with Mina. Narou entertained himself by inspecting some of the items for sale. Despite all his disdain for generic isekai settings, it was still cool to see fantasy weapons and armor in person. When the two girls returned, Mina was carrying something long wrapped in cloth.

“We found one, Master Narou!” Plum said.

Mina smiled. “Your girlfriend has impeccable taste.” Before Narou could inform her that he and Plum were not in a romantic relationship, she pulled the cloth away, revealing a magnificent, single-edged blade with a round guard and two-handed grip.

Is this for real? This can’t seriously be…

It was.

The blade was rusted in spots and nicked here and there, yet the sword resting atop the cloth was unquestionably a katana, the signature weapon of Japan—a country that did not exist on this planet.

Narou collapsed to his knees, gloom pouring from him as though a dam had burst.

“M-Master Narou?! What’s wrong?”

Should I even be surprised? This world is one hundred percent isekai.

The most stereotypical of stereotypical isekai heroes was a high school boy wielding a katana. Narou wondered if this was just some inevitable destiny.

“I understand if you’re hesitant about the quality, but this blade is special. An archeologist recovered it during a trip overseas, and it’s believed to be enchanted,” Mina stated.

“Oh, really? ‘On special,’ huh? Well, that makes sense. We can’t afford much else,” Narou mumbled vacantly, clearly not listening. “Poor and trapped moving from one cliché to the next… What did I do to deserve this…?”

A soft warmth enveloped Narou’s fingers, and he blinked away a bit of the despair in his eyes. Plum was holding his hands. Fortunately, her grip was more tender than earlier, and she gently lifted Narou back to his feet.

“Master Narou… Do you not like the one I picked out for you?” The words were a delicate glass sculpture. Plum’s eyes gazed into Narou’s, entreating him.

“...Fine. I’ll hold it for a second, but we’re not buying it. We really shouldn’t be spending any money on a sword, even a bargain-price one.”

“Oh, it’s actually our most expensive item,” Mina corrected.

Narou already had one foot out the door. “We’re leaving. C’mon, Plum.”

“Ah! You said you would hold it!”

“No way! That thing is ancient! A sneeze could cause it to crumble, and I bet that shopkeeper girl is waiting to pull a ‘You break it, you buy it’ policy on us!”

Mina averted her eyes, sneering.

“See! Do you not see that?!”

“Just try one pose with it, Master Narou. Please? I want to take a mental picture of you looking all heroic and dashing.”

For a cat anima, Plum could bust out some killer puppy-dog eyes when she needed to.

Narou sighed. Although he was reluctant to engage in more isekai-like activities, he did feel indebted to Plum. Without her, he’d probably still be wandering that field full of mongbats and dragons. So long as he was careful with the katana, there wouldn’t be any harm.

Narou tugged his hands free of Plum’s and reached out to take the sword by the hilt. His grip was a bit shaky—he’d never held a weapon in his life, after all—but he took the greatest care.

The blade had a definite weight to it, enough for Narou to immediately know that if he swung it around for more than a few minutes, it’d tire him out. He took a few steps back from the girls and assumed the standard posture he’d learned in junior high during the kendo curriculum in physical education class.

Something like this…I think?

It had been years, so he didn’t recall exactly. Plum appeared thrilled, though, so it was probably all right.

“Ohhh! You look so dashing, Master Narou! Just like the hero you are! I bet you could face an entire army of a thousand orcs all by yourself. And after slaying your enemies, you’d collapse dramatically from blood loss. My name would grace your perfect lips before you collapsed and died. Eeeeeeeek!” The cat anima’s voice was reaching mid-2000s anime-fan-at-a-convention levels of squeeing.

“I don’t want that to be my final word! Don’t decide how I’ll die! And are you telling me that orcs exist in this world?!”

Shing!

A bright light suddenly erupted from the katana, flooding the room. The tarnished blade shone brilliantly, burning away the rust and mending the chips. Where once there was a weapon a few swings from snapping, there was now a resplendent sword of unparalleled excellence.

“Ah… Ah…,” came a voice that sounded like tap shoes on a wood floor. “At last! For thousands of years, I lay dormant, and now I have awakened again!”

Yup, it was the katana. The guard flapped like a lip, clattering.

Narou nearly dropped the sword, understandably startled, but held tight, knowing he’d be working off the debt for the rest of his life if he broke the weapon.

“What…the hell is going on?” Narou looked at Mina and Plum. The shopkeeper was flabbergasted. As for Plum…

“Eeeeeek! I’m so glad it worked!” she cheered, excitedly hopping and clapping her hands.

Narou nearly dropped the katana for a second time. “You seriously plotted this?!”

“Well, not exactly, but come on! An ancient rusty sword that’s rumored to be magic? Weapons like that always reawaken at a hero’s touch!”

“Just how genre savvy are you?! I can’t tell if I’m angrier about that or that it legitimately worked!” Narou’s shouting grabbed the attention of the blacksmith, who sopped hammering to sneak a look over his shoulder at the scene.

“Hey, Partner, if you’re done arguing with your woman, how’s about a proper greeting? An ‘It’s nice to meet you’ wouldn’t hurt,” said the katana.

Plum brought a hand to her mouth and gasped woodenly. “Oh, goodness! A talking sword! It even called you ‘partner’! Isn’t that great, Master Narou? I’m sure it must have some kind of awesome abilities, like canceling out magic or something!”

“Don’t act like you weren’t expecting this!” Narou snapped.

“Jeeze, wouldja quit ignoring me, Partner? You’re hurting my feelings,” clacked the katana, unaware of how strange it was to suggest a sword had emotions. “If you don’t treat me right, I’ll lock off my magic-negating power, and you’ll have to go through a long trial to convince me to give it back.”

Narou gave the weapon no reply. Instead, he laid it back on the cloth that Mina the shopkeeper still held. “Thank you, but I don’t believe you have what we’re looking for,” he stated, expression as stone-faced as an Easter Island head.

“Eh? A-are you sure? This seems like a pretty pivotal moment of some kind. Honestly, I feel like it’d be wrong to charge you for the katana at this point,” she replied, but Narou had already left the shop.

He hurried off with one of those power walks people do when they want to escape a situation while remaining inconspicuous. He even raised a hand to cover his face and averted his gaze.

“Ah, hey! Wait for me, Master Narou!” Plum said, dashing after him.

“Partner?” the sword called, forlornness plain in its clinking voice. “Partnerrrrrrr!”

♦♦♦

The first katana I touch becomes some kind of talking sword? It’s too obvious! Too cliché!

Narou hurried along the streets of Elias. He didn’t know where he was going and was too worked up to consider it.

“Ever since I was brought here, it’s been one isekai staple after the next,” he muttered. “A basic magic system, lazy technology, a skill that’s so glaringly unique and overpowered…”

And that’s when he stopped dead in his tracks.

“My skill…”

Narou thought back to how Emilia had described it.

“This ability shields the bearer from harm or inconvenience and guides them on their valiant journey.”

Just how much “shielding” and “guiding” was it doing?

Narou brought a hand to his face, remembering his vanished acne scars.

Is something…happening to me?

An inauspicious chill ran down the young man’s spine. Before he had time to contemplate it, someone struck him hard on the back. Narou staggered forward, waving his arms to keep from doing a spectacular face plant that would’ve earned high marks from the judges.

“Watch it!” He snapped at the figure that scurried past.

When Narou got a good look, he saw it was a platinum blond with a hat pulled low over their eyes. The person spared him only a brief glance before sprinting off.

“The hell was that about?”

Something glinted on the ground a couple of paces ahead between the boots walking the road. It was small, but shone brightly in the afternoon sun. Narou reached down and picked it up.

A ring?

The silver band had a coat of arms emblazoned on it. There were no gemstones, so Narou didn’t think it was especially valuable. Still, whoever lost the piece would surely miss it.

Realizing that the person who’d bumped into him may have dropped it, Narou called, “Wait!” but the silver-haired figure had already turned a corner.

Muttering a “damn it,” Narou took off after them. He didn’t expect to catch up, but was surprised by his own pace and how light his body felt. Perhaps it was all the exercise he’d been getting of late. Narou rounded onto the next lane just in time to see an argent flash dart for an alleyway.

“Hey!” He shouted between breaths. “I think you dropped your ring!”

There was no response from the person in question, although a few others on the street stopped to rubberneck.

“Isn’t he that weirdo who faked his guild permit assessment?”

“I heard he keeps a harem of slave women.”

“God, I wish he would make me his slave so I could escape my wife.”

Unfortunately—or perhaps, fortunately—Narou had no time to stop and ruminate on his worsening reputation. He entered the alley and swiftly spotted the little platinum blond standing at the end with their back to the wall. They were boxed in.

“Excuse me, you—”

“Get away from me, you baka!” the person commanded.

“B-Baka?” Narou repeated, stunned.

Now, some of you out there may not be aware, but baka is a Japanese word that means idiot. Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing. It’s a pretty obscure phrase that doesn’t appear in popular culture all that often.

“That’s right! You’re not taking me back home, so tell father that I do what I want, baka!”

“Look, I really have no idea what you’re talking about, and I definitely want to circle back to why you know a Japanese word, but I was only following you because I think you dropped your ri—”

“There she is!”

Apparently, it was Narou’s destiny to be interrupted today. He whirled at the sound of this new deep and scratchy voice.

A cadre of people wearing metal armor and tabards emblazoned with the same coat of arms as the ring crowded the alley entrance. Swords hung at their hips.

“Lady Alba, please, be reasonable. Your father gets very upset when you sneak out,” said the scratchy-voiced one at the front of the pack.

“No!” cried the girl called Alba. “That baka can’t keep me locked up day and night in the mansion like some doll! I want to see the world!” The brim of her hat had risen slightly during her flight, revealing deep green eyes and a prominent, shiny forehead. I know you’re wondering, so let’s get it out of the way now; her chest was so flat it may well have been concave.

“You can learn all about distant lands from your instructors back—”

“I didn’t say ‘learn,’ baka, I said ‘see’!”

“There are plenty of pictures. The city can be dangerous, Lady Alba. Why would you risk your family’s future by slipping out to play?” the scratchy voiced-man argued.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up! If you must know, I… I…” Alba looked around as she very obviously floundered to provide an excuse. Her gaze fell to Narou, caught in the crossfire, and a portentous feeling shot through his gut.

No, no, no.

“I was…”

No, no, no, no, no, no! Don’t you say it!

“...meeting with my boyfriend!” Alba cried at the top of her lungs. The words reverberated against the alley walls and floated toward the sky, leaving everyone, including Alba herself, in stunned silence. Narou saw that the armored people were gripping their weapons tight.

Hoping to de-escalate the situation, he tried to speak up before things went south. “Let’s all take a breath. This is clearly between you and her. I’m not invol—”

“YOU BASTARD!”

“YOU THINK YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH FOR LADY ALBA?!”

“DID YOU DEFILE HER, YOU PUNK?”

“WE’LL NEVER LET SOME COMMONER HAVE HER!

“““YEAHHHHHHHHHH”””

The armored group charged forward, a turbulent wave of steel, leather, and shouting.

“Dammit, this always happens,” Alba cursed, her voice barely audible over the roaring avalanche surging down the side street.

“Are you telling me you’ve gotten into this exact predicament more than once?!” Narou exclaimed at her when he really should’ve been paying attention to the tide of swords washing in. “Please learn from your past experiences!”

“Tsk. There’s no time, baka, now come on!” Alba seized Narou’s hand and then aimed her other palm at her feet. “Bagima!”

Sheeen!

A green spell circle composed of many intricate parts that Narou was confident were utterly superfluous formed on the ground beneath him and the silver-haired girl. No sooner did he wonder what this magical array might do than a spiraling gale surged forth. The tornado wrested Alba and Narou from the earth, hurling them high.

“Lady Alba!” one of the armored people screamed from below.

“Come down this instant!” another cried.

As it happened, coming down wasn’t going to be an issue, for the spell had already run its course, and gravity was setting in.

Alba’s hat came flying off, and two immense drill curls sprang out, happy to be free. How they were ever contained in that hat was a mystery that baffled researchers for decades to come.

“Hey,” Narou stated with unusual composure.

Alba, conical locks spiraling in the wind, looked at the boy she had catapulted into the heavens and replied, “Hm? What is it?”

“You have a way to land safely, right?”

“Of course, baka. Strengthen yourself with mana, and you’ll survive the impact.”

“Naturally. Of course. It was stupid of me even to ask. But, let’s say, hypothetically, someone couldn’t do that.”

“...Can you not?”

“No.”

“Oh… Well, I guess you’re going to die, then. Sorry, baka. No hard feelings.”

“Are you freaking kidding me?! Do something! Use more wind magic to set me down on the ground.”

“Hmm… I would, but it’s actually impossible to use mana strengthening and cast spells simultaneously, so…”

“Why did you grab me then?!”

“I didn’t think you’d be such a failure at life that you’d be incapable of a basic technique like mana strengthening, baka!”

Tears streamed from Narou’s eyes. “I’m going to die. I’m going to die, and the last thing I’ll ever hear is someone calling me ‘baka.’ I hate isekaaaaaaaaaiiiiiii!”

The declaration trailed after Narou like one of those banner ads that planes fly at the beach. The ground was drawing nearer and nearer, ready to turn the poor hero from Earth into a colorful mosaic.

However, something unlikely occurred. An elderly ox pulling a cart with an inordinate amount of hay bellowed suddenly and reared like a much younger steer. The yoke around its neck inexplicably came loose, and the wagon trundled away.

Down it barreled along the streets. Startled people leaped out of the way and warned others to do the same. When the cart reached an intersection, one of the wheels struck a small stone a child kicked into its path not a moment before, altering the cart’s course such that it took a sharp left. When the runaway wagon finally came to rest, it was positioned directly below Narou.

Whumf!

He plunged into the hay, scattering yellow straw around. A few bits poked into Narou’s nose and ears in terribly uncomfortable ways. He’d surely be picking straw from his sleeves and pants for a couple of days. Still, he was on the ground and alive.

Naturally, Narou’s first reaction was to bask in the feeling of continued existence, although it faded as he began to deliberate the how of it all. The chance of a hay wagon rolling underneath him in time to break his fall was so slim it could never have occurred spontaneously.

Scenario Covering… Narou was glad the skill had wrenched him from death’s grip, but just how significantly could it alter the world around him?

“Oh, wow! The baka’s not dead,” Alba remarked, surprised and impressed. She had landed only a dozen feet away and was sauntering over with an amount of nonchalance most people would have found offensive after she’d nearly killed someone. “I guess even a baka gets lucky sometimes.”

Narou climbed out of the cart, shook the hay from his nethers, and narrowed his eyes at the girl. “You,” he snarled.

“Hm? What is it? If you’ve got something to say, baka, you’d better spit it out quick. More of my father’s guards will be upon us before long.”

Stomping forward on quivering feet, Narou raised his hands and grabbed Alba by the shoulders. She gasped and closed her eyes. Narou felt her stiffen.

“Why do you keep using that word?”

“...Huh?”

“Why do you keep saying ‘baka’? It’s practically every other word out of your mouth. Don’t you know how obnoxious that is?! I was about to die, and all I heard was ‘baka’ this and ‘baka’ that!”

Narou began to shake Alba slightly, not because he was genuinely rocking his arms, but because his body was trembling.

“I… What? I read that girls who call people that are considered cute. It’s an old popular style of etiquette called… Um… Tsu-something.”

“Who cares? Tell me how you know Japanese.”

“Jah-pahn-ease? Is that the name of a foreign noble house? Start talking sense, baka.”

That got Narou to stop shaking. He released Alba and took a step back. It seemed she’d learned a Japanese word without knowing where it came from. More puzzling was that Itannians spoke their own language, yet to Narou, it sounded like Japanese. So why was baka excluded from that convenient translation?

Maybe it’s another word, and it only sounds like the one I know. Narou considered the idea. Alba used “baka” the way someone back on Earth would have, albeit way too much. He wanted to inquire further, but a crowd had formed after his spectacular display.

“Look, baka, we can talk more later. Right now, we need to get out of here before my father’s goons find us,” Alba said.

After a nod from Narou, the pair hurried off, rounding two corners and coming to rest behind a closed flower shop.

No sooner did they confirm they were safe than Narou launched back into it.

“You read about that word in a book, yeah?”

“Ugh. Are you still on this? Yeah, I did. What of it, baka?”

Narou massaged his temples. “Seriously, you’re killing me with that. Where did you find this book?”

“In my family’s library,” Alba replied matter-of-factly.

Most people didn’t have the money to keep an extensive repository of books. Paper was difficult to produce in this world, making bound volumes expensive. Commoners were lucky to have one or two. Only organizations like the Adventurers Guild or those individuals blessed with wealth had enough books for the collection to be dubbed a library.

“Are you a noble?” Narou hadn’t realized it sooner because the girl was dressed so plainly. Upon reflection, the encounter with the guards made it obvious that Alba was of aristocratic birth.

“I’m Alba von Albatross. My father is Count von Albatross, ruler of Elias and the entire domain. Honestly, I’m surprised even a baka like you doesn’t recognize me. My disguise must be more flawless than I thought.”

Narou’s eye twitched at both the overuse of baka and the girl’s haughtiness. This was a wholly different kind of troublesome than Plum’s brand. “Yeah, well, I’m kinda new here,” he responded dismissively.

“My father keeps me locked away in the mansion all day. Sure, I’m afforded every luxury money can buy, from the best teachers to amusements…”

“Sounds pretty great, honestly,” Narou mumbled during Alba’s abrupt backstory info dump.

“…But I want to be outside, to travel and see the world. So I like to sneak out and visit Elias when I can. Walking along the same streets as traveling merchants and adventurers helps satisfy my wanderlust.”

“Okay, that’s tragic and all. Boohoo, you were born privileged. Is there any chance you could get me that book?”

It was a massive leap to hope that a book with the word baka might contain secrets on how to return to Earth, yet there was no reason not to try. Perhaps it had been written by another Japanese person stranded here on Erd, and Narou could work with them to get home.

Having concluded this latest reading of her autobiography, Alba tapped a slender finger to her pink lips. “Hmm. Well… Baka commoners aren’t usually allowed in the manor without an appointment, and those can take years to approve. I could say you’re visiting me, but Father still has to authorize it. I’m not sure he’d be keen on a baka commoner boy calling on me. Even if it’s for something as harmless as a study date.”

Narou’s shoulders slumped. Some devious part of him wondered if he could break into the Albatross estate, but there was no ruling out the possibility of absurd traps in a world with magic. Plum was probably strong enough to get past them, but knowing her, she’d blow everything up.

“Hmm… How about this.” Alba perked up as though struck by inspiration. “Show me around Elias today, baka, and I’ll do everything I can to get you in the library.

So I’m back to doing what I was before, only with a different kind of weirdo. I guess I have no choice. I can look for Plum while we walk, at least. Narou hadn’t seen her since dashing out of the blacksmith’s shop.

“All right, it’s a deal,” he agreed.

Alba beamed. She had a delicate, high-class beauty to her, so long as she wasn’t spewing “baka” every second. “Great!” she replied, wrapping one of her arms around Narou’s, pressing it to her more-level-than-a-salt-flat chest.

“Wh-Why!” was all the started hero could muster in objection.

“Bakas on the street will be less likely to recognize me if we walk together. Alba von Albatross isn’t married or being courted. I already said you were my boyfriend anyway, baka.”

“Saying that doesn’t make it true! It requires mutual consent!”

And thus, Narou’s second date of the day commenced. For the most part, it was much the same as the first—a girl led him around town as she pleased. Alba stopped primarily in eateries that offered foreign dishes. Despite the young noble’s petite stature, she harbored quite an impressive appetite.

“Mmm! This Anuian sausage is to die for!” Alba brought a hand to her cheek. “Here, baka, try some. Don’t be shy.” She cut a piece of the meat and stuck it with a fork to offer it to Narou, the baka in question.

Scenes of a cute girl feeding some thickheaded guy were typical in manga and anime, but Narou had never considered how uncomfortable it would be in reality.

I can feel everyone in this cafe watching us!

Reluctantly, Narou acquiesced, opening his mouth and biting into the sausage. His mortified expression eased slightly. “Oh, it is pretty good.”

Alba blinked her jade eyes, and the tiniest bit of pink surfaced on her cheeks. She quickly reset her expression, however. “Of course, baka. I have exceptional taste! Hahaha!” The young lady raised a hand to her mouth as she laughed, a classic symbol of feminine aristocracy.

Because the von Albatross family guards were likely still prowling the streets, Alba and Narou couldn’t linger in one establishment very long, so they had to scarf down their sausage and scamper to the next spot on Alba’s list of local must-sees.

It was just as well. Narou sensed some other cafe patrons growing angry at him for rubbing his cute “girlfriend” in their faces.

“Where are we headed now? There aren’t too many places left, right?” he asked. Thus far, there’d been no sign of Plum, and Narou was feeling guilty about ditching her, unintentional though it may have been.

Maybe she went back to the apartment.

“Actually, baka, this is the last one,” Alba answered, and she couldn’t disguise her disappointment. “It’s a clothing store that imports foreign fabrics. The selection won’t be as robust as a shop in the Ishgald domain, but it’s still worth checking out.

Alba led the way to a brick building on one side of the road. Its tall chimney and open front door struck Narou as familiar. Yet, perhaps because the edifice was painted a shade of pink that made his teeth itch, he couldn’t place it immediately. He heard a rhythmic sound coming from inside.

Is that…hammering?

Alba tugged on one sleeve of Narou’s track jacket. “Come on, baka! Father’s guards could be here any second!”

Upon crossing the threshold into the store, a powerful, cloying scent assailed Narou’s olfactory system. The perfume was not unlike a wall in its density. It was all the young man could do to keep from coughing. And it was only when he managed to get his breathing under control and wipe the tears from his eyes that he noticed precisely what sort of clothing this establishment traded in.

It’s all lingerie!

Bras, panties, and sexy nightgowns hung on wooden display mannequins set in provocative poses.

“Welcome!” greeted a high-pitched voice. It belonged to a young woman who was already bounding over to Narou and Alba. She was dressed in an outfit that matched what was on sale. “My name is Nina. Are you searching for anything in particular today?”

Alba didn’t answer immediately. Her eyes were moving between the shopkeeper’s ample bust and the ninety-degree vertical slab that was her own chest. “Mghhh,” she grumbled.

Narou cocked an eyebrow at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, baka!” Alba punched Narou hard enough to knock him off his feet. Her blow must have been strengthened with mana.

“Oww…,” Narou groaned as he pushed himself up. “What the hell was that for?”

“It’s part of that tsu-something etiquette. Hitting is actually a charming display of affection,” the von Albatross daughter explained.

“Call me crazy, but I don’t think it meant genuinely punch someone.”

“Quit your griping, baka, or no library access for you.”

Nina the clerk smiled and giggled. “Goodness, you two get along very well.”

Narou frowned. “What in the world makes you say that? All you’ve seen us do is argue. How are fighting and physical abuse indications of a good relationship?”

“That’s right!” Alba asserted, grabbing her “boyfriend” by the arm and pulling him close. “We’re a totally real couple.” Then she shot Narou a glance to remind him not to blow her cover.

“In that case, perhaps you’d like to let him pick something for you to wear in the bedroom?” Nina suggested with an impish expression.

“Y-yes, that sounds p-perfect. Let’s look around separately, b-b-baka. Find me a n-nice g-garment.” Alba was trembling, and her face had gone scarlet.

Nina showed the embarrassed girl over to the import section while Narou wandered aimlessly through the wares on the opposite side of the boutique, utterly unaware of what he was supposed to be seeking.

Clang, clang, clang.

The hammering Narou heard outside resumed, coming from deeper in the store. He followed the noise, curious what a place of cloth and silk would need with a hammer. Sat before a chimney at the far end of the room was a man shorter than Narou, but much older. He was busy striking his latest work on an anvil. Sweat and ash stained his skin.

Wait a minute… Narou felt a cold pricking along his neck. This is exactly like that blacksmith from earlier!

Was it a joke? Perhaps Nina—or was it Mina?—and the old man ran both businesses, and this was a scam? If so, then how exactly did it profit them? Were the walls about to flip around to reveal shelves with swords and armor?

This world was filled with all manner of anachronisms. So why did this feel so unsettlingly out of place? Narou couldn’t shake a feeling of wrongness about the sight before him.

Against an instinct that bid him refrain, Narou extended a hand to tap the hammering man on the shoulder. “Um… Excuse me.”

The little old man must have been too engrossed in his labor, for he jumped when Narou touched him. “Eh? Wuzzat?” The startled expression on his wrinkled face relaxed when he saw the young man standing behind him. “Oh, did Nina not help you, kid? I only make the stuff.”

“You make…all this?” Narou gestured to the items of varying bawdiness.

“Of course! It’s been the family trade for generations. Care to inspect my latest piece?” The old man scooted his stool to one side so Narou could see what was on the anvil.

“...What?”

It was a revealing lace bra with a floral pattern. The prickle on Narou’s neck turned to something more sinister and icy.

Wrong. This is wrong.

“That’s what you’re working on?”

“Yup. Would you like to try it on?” The old man picked up the bra and offered it to Narou, who reflexively took a step back.

Unsure how to respond, Narou replied, “Er, why would I wear that?”

The old man shrugged. “You’re the one who came in here. I don’t know your life, and I don’t judge. It’s excellent craftsmanship, I assure you.” He shook the undergarment at Narou as if that were going to convince him.

Although gripped by a feeling that this wasn’t right, Narou reached out to accept the bra. Alba told him to choose a piece for her, after all.

It’s too big for her, though.

The moment Narou’s fingers grazed the ornamental needlework—or hammerwork, in this case—a powerful glow erupted from the lacey thing, blotting out all else for a moment.

Shing!

“At last! For thousands of years, I lay dormant, and now I am awakened again!” came a voice like rubbed fabric.

It was the bra itself that was talking.

“Well? Aren’t you going to say something, Partner? An ‘It’s nice to meet you’ wouldn’t hurt,” said the undergarment.

Narou scowled, and his eyes went wide. “What’s going on?!” he shouted at the bra as much as the old man. “Why are things…repeating?! We already did this!”

“What are you talking about, sir?” The old man asked. His voice had changed, however. The gravel in it had been crushed to powder. He sounded like a woman now.

Startled, Narou blinked hard in disbelief. When he opened his eyes again, the forge, anvil, and little old man were gone. Narou stood before a table topped with spools, needles, scissors, and bolts of cloth. A graying woman sat behind the table, watching Narou with concern.

“Is everything all right?” she inquired. “Are you unsatisfied with the brassiere?”

“Huh?” Narou glanced down and saw he was clutching that lace bra the old man had been striking on the anvil. “What happened to the—”

“Oh, is that what you picked out for me, baka?” Alba trotted over excitedly. A female clerk who looked nothing like the Nina from moments ago followed after, carrying a small heap of garments.

“I… What?” That Narou could manage even that much after the bizarreness he’d witnessed was commendable. However, Alba was ignorant of his harrowing experience and thus happily snatched the bra from his hands.

As she inspected it, her cheeks turned rosy. “It’s, uh, pretty daring, huh? And the size… Well, this is what you chose for me. I’m sure I’ll grow into it!”

Nina and the seamstress, eager for a sale regardless of how suited the item was to the customer, nodded. Narou was still too bewildered to offer any objection. Alba paid for her garments, retrieving more clava than her “boyfriend’ had to his name from a pocket purse. Nina folded the purchases neatly, wrapped them with a thin white cloth, and tied the bundle with string to make it easy to carry.

“Thank you for your patronage! And be sure to come again soon!” The old woman called as Narou and Alba exited the boutique. The fresh air, cool now that the sun was setting, was a welcome escape from the perfumed mire inside.

“Hey, Alba…” Narou paused, not sure how to broach the matter. It sounded crazy, even to him. “You didn’t see anything strange in that store, did you?”

The platinum blond cocked her head to one side. “Strange? Well, there were lots of unusual and bold designs, but that’s to be expected of a shop that trades in mature and foreign styles. Honestly, you need to grow up, baka.”

“I don’t want to hear that from the girl who nearly killed me with her magic. Seriously, nothing felt out of place?”

“Is this some commoner slang? No, baka, it was all perfectly acceptable.” Alba was visibly frustrated over the repeated question.

Maybe it was the perfume messing with my head? Narou had never experienced hallucinations before, and wasn’t sure if they were supposed to feel so real. And what about that…sensation?

Even recalling it was enough to trigger the cold dread again. Narou tried to remember if strange visions were common in isekai stories, thinking perhaps it was just another quirk of this world, but couldn’t come up with much that reassured him.

Isekai or no, weird hallucinations are never a good sign in any story.

“Hey! Are you listening to me, baka?”

Narou jumped in surprise. He’d forgotten he was still on a “date,” and Alba was puffing up her cheeks with irritation.

“Sorry. I got distracted for a minute. What did you say?”

Alba snorted. “I said that we can conclude our date here. We’ve visited every place I wanted to see in Elias, and I won’t force you to escort me to other towns.”

“I appreciate that.”

“I’ll stroll around a bit. Father’s guards will find me before too long, and they’ll take me home.”

For a moment, Narou thought to ask if Alba would be all right wandering Elias alone when dusk was nearing. She was carrying some valuable garments, after all. Then he remembered Alba catapulted him into the air with wind magic. She was better equipped to stop a robber than Narou was.

The boy from Earth nodded. “All right then. You’ll hold up your part of the deal, right?”

Alba puffed up her cheeks again. “Obviously, baka! I’m the heir to the von Albatross family. What kind of lady would I be if I didn’t keep my word? Expect a missive once your visit is approved.

So it’s back to waiting for the mail… Narou’s shoulder slumped. Still, two hopes were better than one.

Narou told Alba his address, then the two exchanged farewells and went their separate ways. Since he didn’t know how to get home from this part of town, Narou walked in the direction of the Adventurers Guild, which was always visible. He knew where to go from there.

♦♦♦

“Hmm. Those bakas usually find me a lot quicker than this. I’m not even trying to hide my face…”

It was just after dark, and Alba von Albatross was still exploring Elias. The contingent of guards her Father had sent to retrieve her was yet to appear, but she didn’t mind. Elias at night was a different sort of experience anyhow.

She wandered without a destination. Many restaurants and pubs offered dinnertime specialties Alba was interested in sampling, but she was full from her “date” with Narou.

“Hmm… That’s odd.”

She’d met plenty of boys before, and they were all of superior pedigree. Why did her stomach turn like an aerial dancer when she pictured him? Alba sensed her cheeks growing hot and shook her head to dispel the feeling.

“That baka…”

Despite promising to help Narou, Alba wasn’t confident she could deliver on her end of the bargain. Her father was protective, to say the least. Convincing him was the only way she’d meet Narou again, though.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” called a voice like rich honey. There were still plenty of others on the lane—the person could have been addressing anyone. Yet something sweet and crisp like autumn apples tugged at Alba and convinced the girl the words were for her and none other.

Strangely fearful that the speaker might vanish if she did not locate them swiftly, Alba turned and looked around. She spotted a figure in a white cloak standing by an alleyway. Only his chin and mouth were visible beneath his hood, and his posture was stooped.

“Yes?” she replied while approaching. “Do you have some business with me, baka?” Alba thought she saw the hooded man’s lips curl into a frown, but it passed quickly, and she soon forgot it.

“You look to me like a young lady of discerning taste,” said the hooded man. His speech had a richness that made the head dizzy and the world pleasantly fuzzy.

Alba nodded, stumbling slightly but catching herself. “Have you any foreign wares, baka? I’d love to see them!” The words came louder than Alba intended, and she could feel heat building in her face again, although the source was different.

“Certainly,” the hooded man replied. “I only deal in imported curios.” The very statement all but spun images of fascinating baubles from spider silk and mist. “My shop is right this way.”

The stranger beckoned Alba with a knobbly hand, and she had to stop herself from running after him.

Growing up in a noble household, Alba learned all manner of things, including self-defense and how to spot dangerous situations. So why was she following this hooded man away from all other eyes? Alba couldn’t think clearly enough to provide an answer. The more she listened to the stranger’s words, the more they supplanted reality until there was no doubt.

CHAPTER 8

Storming the Manor

“Hahhh,” Narou sighed. He was lying on his bed in the apartment he shared with Plum, staring up at the ceiling.

Eight days had passed since he’d put in the request at the Adventurers Guild, and there was still no reply. Waiting for deliveries was excruciating back on Earth, but at least he could check the website to see how far along it was. Constantly refreshing the page in the vain hope of an update helped manage his anxiety a bit, too. Here, there was no knowing if the letter had left yet, or if it was coming at all. Disappointingly, there was nothing from Alba von Albatross, either.

“Master Narou, why don’t we do something to help cheer you up?” Plum suggested.

The cat anima was worried sick after getting separated from Narou the day he met Alba. To make it up to her, Narou accepted a simple herb-gathering quest the next day and used the money to treat her to dinner at a restaurant that evening.

Narou went to pick rice during a middle school field trip a few years ago, and his back ached for days after. While the plants he gathered with Plum for the Adventurers Guild weren’t in a wet paddy, the work was basically the same. Thus, it was a surprise to discover he felt perfectly fit the following morning.

It has to be Scenario Covering.

“This ability shields the bearer from harm or inconvenience and guides them on their valiant journey.”

What qualified as “inconvenience”? With a loose enough definition, almost anything could be seen as an obstacle. Narou was glad that his back didn’t ache, but what else had he been spared?

Narou raised a hand to his right cheek, just below the jawbone. There should have been a small but tangible acne scar that sank in a bit, yet the skin felt flawlessly smooth. He’d also noticed that his posture, a bit hunched from years of long gaming sessions, was straightening out, too. And those were only the minor changes.

Language, my ability to breathe the air on another planet, and the lack of consequences from exposure to foreign microbes…

All of it could be Scenario Covering, which led Narou to question how long he’d carried the skill. Given that the alterations to his body only began after he appeared on Erd, Narou didn’t think he’d possessed Scenario Covering on Earth. Had it simply manifested upon arrival? If so, then why? Perhaps the natural laws of this world demanded everyone have at least one skill. Did that mean he’d lose it when he returned home? And if it wasn’t some innate phenomenon caused by this world’s physical laws…

Maybe someone did this to me on purpose.

Given how Erd seemingly operated on isekai tropes, that felt more likely. However, try as he did, Narou couldn’t think of a reason anyone would do such a thing.

“Um… Master Narou?”

“Huh?”

Plum was leaning over Narou with a concerned look on her face. Her breasts dangled above his head like hoisted watermelons.

“You didn’t answer me. You’ve been quiet all morning. I’m getting worried.”

“Oh, sorry. I’ve…had a lot on my mind recently, I guess.” He rolled away from Plum to face the wall.

“Are you troubled because nothing’s come in the mail yet?” Plum asked.

“That’s part of it, yeah.”

“There’s more?”

“I suppose you could say that. It’s kind of connected. Or maybe not? Honestly, I don’t know…”

Pomf.

Plum sat down on Narou’s bed, turned away from him. “I would be happy to listen to whatever’s on your mind if you think that might help.”

Narou expected her to make the offer lewd somehow, and so remained silent. When it became clear that she was serious, he puzzled over what to do. His parents had never asked him to open up to them, so he was unsure where to begin. Plus, this was the girl who loved the idea of a hero from another world to the point of toxic obsession. How would she react when he explained his theory about Scenario Covering?

Narou found himself wishing that Fran was here. It was much easier to talk with him. Still, Plum had been helping Narou since the beginning.

“There are…things about my skill that kind of…worry me,” Narou confessed. “Back on my world, there were no skills like the kind you have here. Suddenly having one that’s supposed to be powerful and special is…frightening in a way. Maybe that sounds odd to someone who’s grown up having three.”

Narou stared at the wall, wondering what sort of expression Plum had. Surely, she was struggling to comprehend his worries.

“I know how you feel.”

“What?” Narou said on reflex, looking over at Plum. She still had her back to him, and her shoulders were trembling. The cat anima turned slowly to face Narou, who gulped nervously.

“It must be terribly difficult, knowing how much better you are than everyone else.” Fat tears were flowing from Plum’s eyes. She spread her arms wide and took Narou in a tight embrace, shamelessly pressing him into her cleavage.

Mentally, Narou sighed. He couldn’t do so physically because Plum’s boobs had enveloped his head and were pressing on it from both sides like wet bags of concrete.

I guess expecting her to understand was hoping for too much.

Narou wrenched himself free from Plum’s hug and scooted off the bed to take a step away from her.

Tink!

A small object fell from Narou’s pocket and clattered lightly on the floor. It was a little band engraved with a coat of arms. The young man bent down to pick it up.

“Right… I forgot to give it back to her…,” he muttered.

Plum, who looked forlorn over her hero fleeing her arms, also spotted the dropped trinket. “What is it, Master Narou? A…ring? YOU CAN’T MEAN?!”

“NO!” he shouted back at her desperately. “No one is marrying anyone, okay?!”

“Tsk.” Plum clicked her tongue and snapped her fingers. “Foiled again. Then why do you have a ring?”

“Remember that von Albatross girl I ran into?”

“The homewrecker who ruined our date? How could I forget? I’ve sworn an eternal oath of hatred against her.”

Narou frowned. “That sounds extremely frightening. Please don’t go seeking some kind of crazy revenge.”

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t make any promises,” Plum replied with a casual shrug, as if to suggest she wasn’t the one in control.

“Anyway, I’m pretty sure it’s hers,” Narou explained. “She dropped it, and I forgot to give it…back…”

And that’s when Narou got an idea. Alba said it was difficult for a commoner to gain entry into the von Albatross estate, but what if he did the noble family a favor? Returning the daughter of the house’s lost ring might win Narou sufficient esteem for a visit to the von Albatross library.

Narou cursed himself for foolishly keeping the band in his pants pocket, where it could’ve fallen while he’d been out gathering herbs. It was a stroke of good luck that it hadn’t. Finding it out in the fields would’ve been impossible. He stowed the ring in an interior pocket of his track jacket for safe keeping.

“Say, Plum. Do you know the way to the von Albatross estate?”

“Sure. It’s north of town, so we should be fine if we head in that direction.” She was on her feet now, too, and already preparing for the trip.

“‘We’?” Narou repeated with a cocked eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to come along?”

Plum nodded emphatically, her feline ears flapping slightly. “Absolutely. I can’t leave you alone in the clutches of that thieving cat.”

“The irony of that statement is completely lost on you, isn’t it?”

And so, the two made ready to depart. Finally, after so many days of fruitless waiting, Narou had something he could take action on.

♦♦♦

“Krueger, I really don’t like the look of all this. Maybe we should get out of here while we can.”

“Shaddup, Zork, I’m in—Sayer’s in charge. What he says goes. And what he says is for us to wait.”

“We’ve been holed up in this mansion for days. If that weird old codger is going to make a move, it has to be soon. People will notice Count von Albatross’s disappearance.”

Krueger only grunted absently and went to polish the head of his hammer, which was thick enough to start a bakery with all the cake it had.

Since that night in the tavern, Krueger and Zork had been working with Sayer. At least, it was with at first. Recently, it was feeling more like for. Zork still didn’t know how, but Sayer had power over those who listened to him talk. Krueger had already fallen in line, obeying whatever the hooded man commanded. Although Zork resisted as best he could, it was growing more difficult not to lose himself.

Sayer promised Krueger revenge against Narou, the boy who’d bested him in the Adventurers Guild a while back, but they’d been hiding here since kidnapping the Albatross girl. The hooded man had leveraged her safety against the count, forcing him, his staff, and his guards to submit. Now they were locked up in the dungeons below the estate.

He’s got to be brainwashing them, too, Zork thought. But to what end? Is Sayer’s plan to take over the domain?

Regardless of the goal, Zork was stuck as a pawn whether he liked it or not. Although he still retained enough of his persona to think and act on his own, it was challenging to manifest notions of disloyalty to Sayer. A malaise rich like tar overcame Zork when he tried, leeching all motivation.

The shark anima smiled, dark blue lips curving up sardonically. He’d managed to go from one kind of enslavement to another. Actually, Krueger still bullied him, so it was more like he served two masters instead of one. Even if Krueger died fighting the hero now, Zork wouldn’t be free.

He looked around the bedchamber. Count von Albatross didn’t have the wealth that some of the other domain rulers possessed, but the surroundings were still more splendid than anything Zork had ever known. Over the past week, he’d slept on a comfortable mattress in one of the guest rooms and partaken of quality food and drink from the noble family’s private stores. Yet he would gladly return to scraping down clava to get by if it meant freedom.

At this point, that’d take a miracle. Zork frowned. He wasn’t the sort fortunate enough for a miracle. Maybe…a hero, then?

There was still a chance that the strange boy who’d beaten Krueger with flying cookware could put an end to all this, as bizarre as his abilities seemed. Unfortunately, there was no way he’d know to come to the mansion and rescue everyone. Sayer was using faeries he’d won over to his side long before he’d recruited Krueger and Zork to intercept any carrier pigeons going or coming from the estate and the nearby town of Elias to keep knowledge from leaking.

If there were to be a fight with the hero, it would only be after Sayer did everything to ensure victory, and he had no reason to rush that confrontation. It wasn’t like that kid would come waltzing up to the von Albatross manor.

Knock, knock, knock.

A noise echoed through the quiet mansion. Zork went very still, not daring to hope.

Knock, knock, knock.

There was no way. It was too convenient. It had to be a visiting noble or traveling merchant.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Hello? Sorry, but I noticed the door is unlocked. My name is Narou Shousetsu. I’m an acquaintance of Lady Alba’s. I have something to return to her.”

Zork blinked his beady eyes a few times. He couldn’t see the expression on his face, but he had to imagine it was stupid.

♦♦♦

“Hmm. Maybe no one’s home?” Plum suggested, ears lowered.

“I guess it’s possible,” Narou replied. “But then why would the door be unlocked? And in RPGs, guards are usually posted outside a noble’s home, yet the whole place seems deserted.”

Alba had said it was difficult for a commoner to get approval to visit, but now it felt almost too easy to stroll inside. There was an eeriness to the atmosphere. Although it was daytime, the foyer beyond the fancy double doors felt sinister.

Everything about this is screaming “trap” at me. Narou shut the doors and turned to his companion.

“You’re right, Plum. Doesn’t look like anyone’s around. Let’s come back another day.”

The girl looked surprised to hear that from Narou, and she sighed. “Oh… Okay.”

“Something wrong?”

“It’s just… I’m getting this overwhelming ‘climax’ kind of feeling from within. Like there’s danger there, but it’s important that we face it.”

Was this her odd genre savviness rearing its head again or her Combat Precognition skill? Narou never asked Plum how the latter worked. He’d assumed it enabled her to see a second into the future during fights, but maybe it operated more like a vague danger sense?

Plum took Narou’s hands in her own. Her grip was far gentler than during their date last week. Sincerity shone in her gaze. “I don’t like that thieving cat very much, but if someone’s in danger, it’s the hero’s job to rescue them. Just like you did with me!”

“The way I remember it, you saved me,” Narou countered. Plum had only been faking her loss against the Mongbats. She’d charred them to cinders once she stopped playing around.

Plum shook her head. “No, Master Narou, you’ve got it wrong. I mean, you were the one who inspired me to fight back then, so that does count as your victory, not mine…”

“I’m taking increasing damage every turn from how toxic that is.”

“But that’s not what I’m talking about. I know my dreams are…quirky. People have mocked me for them all my life. They think I’m strange, so they keep away. You’re the first person who hasn’t abandoned me, even though I’m sure you would’ve liked to.”

It wounded Narou that he couldn’t refute that. While he still didn’t consider Plum’s aspirations healthy, he’d never considered that no one had bothered to show her kindness. The girl didn’t deserve a solitary existence just because she was weird.

“I was…alone back on my world, too,” Narou said. “And without you, I’m not sure what might’ve happened when I appeared in that field. You’ve helped me so much, and I thought that meant I owed you because I couldn’t offer anything in return. Now you’re telling me I did… I guess I just never realized it. Maybe I didn’t believe my friendship was worth anything…”

“Master Narou…”

The young man from Earth narrowed his eyes. “Plum, do you really think there’s something nasty in there?”

Plum looked surprised to see her master so intense, but she nodded. “That’s what my Combat Precognition skill is telling me. There’s definitely danger inside the mansion. The von Albatross family could be in peril.”

“Then it sounds like it’s up to us to help,” Narou replied, clenching his fist.

Plus, if we can get in the family’s good graces, it’ll mean guaranteed access to the library and possibly more. Narou kept that part to himself, though.

He pushed open the front doors again, not bothering to knock this time. “Hello?” the young man called as he and Plum stepped into the foyer.

The two-story room was opulent, and its size rivaled or possibly outmatched Narou’s father’s house in Hirakata. Tall standing candelabras were set along the walls beneath portraits of important-looking people. To Narou, it seemed the spitting image of an RPG castle. All it was missing were a couple of obvious red treasure chests.

“Hello, Narou Shousetsu.”

Narou and Plum jumped at this unfamiliar voice, and their eyes followed the sound up the staircase to the second floor. A man stood at the top of the steps. The hood of his pure-white cloak was pulled low so that only his mouth and chin were visible.

“I’ve learned a lot about you these past few days. Read a lot about you, as it happens.” The hooded man pulled something from one of the sleeves of his robe, an astonishing feat when one considered that most sleeves didn’t have pockets and those that did were utterly impractical. He held the rectangular item up with a dramatic flourish.

…

No one said anything, but it was clear that the hooded man expected Narou to be astonished. However, the man was at the top of the stairway at the opposite end of the foyer. Narou and Plum couldn’t make out the details of a small object from such a distance.

Cupping his hands to his mouth, Narou called, “Uh, sorry, but you’re kind of far away. I can’t see what you’re holding.”

“Be careful, Master Narou. I’m getting a really ominous feeling from that geezer.”

No sooner did the words leave Plum’s mouth than something came speeding toward her and Narou, smashing on the ground before them. It was in pieces now, but the item the hooded man tossed was unmistakable. It was Narou’s smartphone

“That’s… Ah! Now I remember! You’re the one who bought it from me!”

The hooded man’s lips curled into a sneer. “That’s right, hero. And now I know everything about you.”

“Disgusting!” Plum shouted. “I’m the only one allowed to creep on Master Narou! And if someone else has to do it, they should be cute!”

Narou sighed. He didn’t even know how to respond to that declaration.

“Ahh. I was wondering who you might bring. Now I see it’s the primary female protagonist—heartwarmingly devoted to the hero to the point of self-sacrifice.”

“What?” Narou said. That esoteric line clearly suggested this odd guy knew more than he was letting on. “What’re you doing here? Where’s Alba?”

At that, the hooded man’s mocking grin widened. “You’re asking the wrong question, Narou. A better one might be ‘Who is Alba?’. And since you know her already, I’m guessing she’s the secondary female protagonist. Or perhaps third? Either way, the hero is progressing at an accelerated level, and that cannot be tolerated.”

What the hell is going on? He keeps using words that make it sound like this is a…

Before Naoru could finish his thought, Plum stomped her feet on the tiled floor powerfully and adopted a combat pose.

“Listen, you nasty, definitely-has-a-smaller-dick-than-Master-Narou weirdo. You need to start making total sense or no sense at all! No middle ground and no weird head tricks!”

“Head tricks?” Narou repeated. Things were growing more confusing by the second.

“Vas Flam!”

Shing!

A crimson and needlessly intricate magic circle burst to life before Plum’s open palm, spitting an intense flaming sphere at the hooded man.

Despite his impending conversion into a well-done steak, the hooded man didn’t seem troubled in the slightest. “Krueger. I do believe the time has come for your rematch.”

KRAKA-BOOM!

A hole was punched into the ceiling, and a massive person came plunging through the newly made aperture. They met Plum’s fireball directly, batting it away with something huge. The spell collided with the wall, exploding in a brilliant red and orange burst.

When the dust cleared, Narou saw Krueger, the man he’d “fought” in the Adventurers Guild, standing wreathed by ceiling rubble. The little shark anima that had accompanied him last time was there, too, peeking from behind one of Krueger’s broad legs.

“Kill…Narou Shousetsu…” Krueger muttered vacantly.

What’re these guys doing here? Don’t tell me they’re working for that guy in the white robe?!

“Master Narou!”

Krueger raised his dummy thicc hammer and slammed it down, sending a powerful shockwave through the ground that hurled floor tiles into the air. Had Plum not alerted Narou to the attack, he would have undoubtedly fallen into the fissure the strike gouged in the floor.

“Grahhhhhhhh!” Krueger bellowed like a rabid animal and charged forward, each heavy step causing the foyer to tremble.

The last time Narou fought Krueger, Scenario Covering did all the work, so he wasn’t sure what to do. If he got close enough to Krueger, his skill might activate as it had before, but there was no guarantee.

Paralyzed with both terror and indecision, the hero from another world stood in place as the freight train of death that was Krueger and his dumps-like-a-truck hammer closed in. A terrible chill ran through Narou.

“Hyah!” Plum leaped between Narou and Krueger. She cast out her hand, still and unwavering with the confidence of one accustomed to fighting. “Vak Rom!”

Shing!

Another crimson array and another spell. This one was a burning twister. Narou felt the heat sting his skin even from a safe distance. The magic’s force was sufficient to knock Krueger off course, and he struggled to keep his balance. Yet while red flames raked across his flesh, leaving grotesque marks, he didn’t seem bothered by the pain.

“You dare get in mighty Krueger’s waaaaaAAAAYYYYY?!”

Narou wouldn’t have described Krueger as a reasonable sort before, but this was on a wholly different level. He’d lost all reason.

The obsidian head of Krueger’s well-endowed hammer came sweeping to crush Plum’s ribs, but she leaped above the attack with incredible agility, flipping in mid-air. On her descent, she extended a leg and struck Krueger on the head with her bare sole. Judging by the terrible cracking that issued from the blow, Plum strengthened the kick with mana.

Not a moment later, a green glow enveloped Krueger, and when it subsided, the blood pouring down his face ceased flowing, and he appeared good as new.

“Gahahaha!” Krueger laughed.

Narou saw that a magic circle had formed by the little shark anima—Zork, if he remembered right. Zork’s inky eyes didn’t seem nearly as incensed as Krueger’s. Curiously, his blue lips were pursed and quivering, like he was holding something in his mouth that desperately wanted out.

So long as he keeps healing the big guy, this will never end. Narou looked to the top of the stairs. The hooded man had taken his leave at some point. If he gets away, then so does any hope of some answers.

“Orrahhh!”

KRA-BOOM!

An attack from Krueger tore another hole into the floor. Plum, having narrowly evaded, cast a fire spell at her opponent and then leaped back to rejoin Narou. The magic charred one of Krueger’s arms, but a spell from Zork mended the damage.

Plum looked to Narou, worry in her blue eyes. “What should we do? I don’t think he’ll let me near the healer.”

This was the first time Narou heard Plum unsure during battle. It was frightening. She was always the one he could hide behind when things got dangerous. However, seeing her now helped Narou realize that she was just as scared as he was, which stirred up something he wasn’t very familiar with—courage. He didn’t have the strength to fight for himself, but if it was for another, for a friend, he could manage. Somehow, he could manage.

She can’t do this alone, and it’s wrong to let her. There was no telling whether Scenario Covering would help Narou as it did before, but it didn’t matter. His friend needed him. Narou balled his hands into tight fists.

“Plum, do you think you can try to push Kruger away from Zork?”

The girl understood Narou’s plan immediately, and she nodded. “Leave it to me.”

Krueger was already running toward the two again, but another fire tornado from Plum sent him crashing into a column, eliciting worrisome vibrations from the mansion. This needed to end before the whole estate came down.

After a deep breath to steel himself, Narou took off running at Zork. Even he didn’t know what he would do upon reaching the little man, but if his plan was going to work, he had to do something.

Zork’s quivering lips split, and he raised a hand. Narou had seen that motion enough times to know what it meant.

But what kind of spell will it be? I’ll probably die if it’s anything like what Plum can do.

“Me Koides!” Zork screeched, and a silver-gray magic circle appeared before his open palm.

An argent bolt lanced forth, its jagged edges crackling. Narou turned to one side without stopping to let the lightning slip past him. It came so close he swore it blackened the skin of his nose, although he didn’t feel as much.

“Eep!” Zork exclaimed, his topknot shaking to and fro with frustration. He quickly worked another spell. “Tre Guna!”

Another silvery array formed at the incantation. However, it vanished just as swiftly, replaced by a green one not targeting Narou. It shed that same healing glow from earlier on Krueger, who’d taken another bad hit from one of Plum’s fireballs.

He can’t cast two spells simultaneously, Narou realized. And that one formed without him saying anything, like it’s automatic.

That was all the more reason to separate Krueger and Zork. The healing magic had to have some limitation, whether range or line of sight. If Narou could get Zork far enough away, Plum would stand a much better chance.

Zork had no time to intone a third spell before Narou was upon him, although the hero from Earth was still not sure what to do. Fortunately, his body had an inkling. Narou turned one shoulder forward and slammed hard into Zork, and the two of them tumbled past the stairs and into a hall opposite the foyer entrance.

Narou had never even slapped another person before, and he was disappointed to learn that physical altercation hurt the striker as much as the strikee. Ignoring the pain as best he could, Narou scrambled to his feet and placed a foot on Zork to hold him down.

The shark anima squirmed against Narou’s body weight, but he didn’t seem especially strong.

Thank goodness I’m up against someone with a strength stat as poor as mine.

The sounds of combat crashed like timpani from the other room. Krueger roared, but no green magic circle formed next to Zork. It appeared the plan had worked.

“What’s happening here?” Narou demanded, the heat in his face and agony in his shoulder emboldening him. “And who is that hooded guy?”

At first, Zork didn’t reply; he only struggled. His lips trembled and shook. When they opened at last…

“Help…your friend…” His voice was a gargle, as though a pair of hands were closed around his throat.

“What?”

“Help…her. She’s in…danger.”

Narou blinked a few times, bewildered. “I thought… Are you on our side or something?”

“Sayer…his words are…difficult to…disobey. The pain…helps me…push him out.”

Recalling something Plum had said earlier about ‘head tricks,’ Narou suddenly realized the truth. That hooded man—Sayer—possessed a form of mind control.

Why don’t I feel anything, then? Is it Scenario Covering again, or—

“Go!” Zork snarled through clenched, jagged teeth. “Kill Krueger! Quickly!”

“What about you?” Narou asked.

“I know…how to keep Sayer out now…,” Zork replied. The black orbs above his nose shone with grim determination. His trembling hand retrieved a dagger from his robe.

Narou swallowed hard and nodded in understanding. Just as he turned to make for the foyer, he heard a cry from Plum, followed by a bestial howl. Narou ran toward the noise, heart pounding in his ears, and when he saw the terrible scene, his blood went cold.

Plum was collapsed on the ground, one of her arms twisted at a grotesque angle. A hulking man stood over her with his hammer and its healthy peach of a head raised.

Narou assumed it was Krueger because that’s who Plum was fighting before. However, the person looming above Plum, if he could still be called as much, was wholly unrecognizable.

His skin had turned a sinister dark gray, and markings like streaks of blood adorned his arms and face. Krueger’s eyes shone an unnatural scarlet, too. But most startling of all was the long pair of curved horns sprouting from his head. He was the spitting image of a demon.

What the hell happened? Narou hadn’t the faintest idea initially, but Zork’s earlier warning helped him piece it together. This must be a skill that doesn’t activate until he’s taken enough damage. Zork’s healing kept it from triggering.

Krueger brought his weapon down with such immense force that it rent the very air. If the blow connected, Plum would die.

There was no way Narou could make it in time. There was no way, and yet… He kicked off the ground with a strength that belied his svelte frame.

Come on, Scenario Covering. Do something! Anything! Please!

Narou reached Plum just in time to take the hit for her, but before the hammer, so juicy thicc, made contact, everything stopped. More accurately, it slowed to near stillness.

“Counter chance!” a familiar yet alien voice declared, and Narou knew his skill had taken effect. Floating white particles surrounded the shaft of Krueger’s fat-ass mallet, just like the last time.

Will it be a pot or a pan? Narou wondered as he reached out to touch the indicated spot.

“Counter!”

Wham!

Something did inexplicably parry the demonized Krueger’s attack, but it was not a piece of cookware. Instead, it was Narou himself. His fist had lanced forward with incredible precision, nailing just the right spot to ensure that Krueger’s swing flew wide.

“Ngh… Master…Narou?” Plum called weakly. Her face lacked its usual brightness.

Turning to his wounded friend, Narou asked, “Can you stand?”

“I…think so,” she replied, and with help from her hero, she got to her feet.

“Plum, you need to get out of here.”

“What? No way! I refuse to let you fight alone, Master Narou!”

“You’re hurt. Just leave m—”

The debate ended swiftly, for Krueger pulled his weapon from the floor and was ready to resume the battle. He roared, and a crimson aura burst around him.

“Cover me!” Narou shouted as he ran in. It was foolish to think Plum would abandon him, but he could keep her on the back line, at the very least.

“Okay!” Plum answered. With her working arm, she cast a powerful fire spell.

This time, Krueger was aiming for Narou, and Scenario Covering activated again.

“Counter!”

Narou’s body kicked Krueger’s calf, and the large man buckled under his own weight. Plum’s magic blasted Krueger not a moment later, searing his flesh.

“That was amazing, Master Narou!” Plum exclaimed. “How are you doing that without mana strengthening?”

“I have no idea! My skill does it for me!” he replied.

It was a wholly unwelcome feeling. Narou’s limbs became like a marionette’s, and he wasn’t certain who pulled the strings.

I can worry about it later, though. For now, we need to stay alive!

Considering Narou and Plum had their opponent reeling, that didn’t seem like an outright impossibility, although the danger was still very real.

The mindless Krueger bellowed so intensely that windows shattered, and Narou had to cover his ears against the terrible noise. Ominous red light surged around the horned enemy as he lowered his head and charged like a bull.

“Plum!”

“I know! Vas Flam!”

Shing!

A fierce gout of flame sped from Plum’s magic circle, but it impacted on the aura raging around Krueger and dissipated impotently.

Shit! Is he getting stronger the more damage he takes?

Berserker abilities like that were pretty standard in the RPGs that isekai novels took inspiration from.

I’d better get out of the way, then. If Plum’s magic can’t stop it, I don’t think I can, either… Huh?

Narou made the startling discovery that his legs were rooted firmly in place. The restrictive sensation was identical to when he triggered a counter. The invisible strings were taught, and though he strained against them, they would not yield.

“Master Narou!” Plum shrieked. Narou couldn’t turn to look at her, but her cry was like cracking ice—sudden and cold.

Everything went dark.

CHAPTER 9

I (Don’t) Need a Hero

As a chaotic skirmish unfolded below, Sayer retreated to Count von Albatross’s office, which had become his base of operations since he took the mansion. The floor trembled and quaked underfoot, but it gave Sayer little cause for worry. Continued fighting meant that Krueger still lived, and the longer the battle persisted, the more powerful that man would grow.

Berserker was an S-Class skill, but only activated when the bearer sustained sufficient injury. Once triggered, it boosted the wielder’s physical attributes tenfold, and that increase only rose with more damage. Narou Shousetsu and his companion could beat Kruger within an inch of his life, and it’d only doom them that much quicker.

Initially, Sayer thought that Zork, the little anima Krueger kept bullied into submission, might be an issue. His skill, Auto Heal, kept Berserker locked away, after all. Sayer came to view that as an advantage after a time, however. The recovery ability would paint a clear target on Zork, and Krueger would naturally defend him. The hero and the primary female protagonist would wear themselves out trying to dispatch the healer first, only to discover Krueger’s Berserker skill after it was too late.

The cowled old man’s dry lips split into a grin like a crack in stone. How pleased he was to have found the perfect tools to dispatch his enemy. How cunning he was to have seized upon Krueger’s thirst for revenge and sung sweetly to nurture it until all that remained in the brute’s mind was the hunger to kill at Sayer’s command.

“None of the others could have managed it, surely. None but Sayer has the patience and guile!”

Sayer came to the office door, tugging at the handle with a bony hand. Inside the chamber was a broad and ornate desk decorated with assorted files. The sheets detailed everything from recent events to potential business transactions, but Sayer could hardly tamp down his giddiness to review them.

Not only have I succeeded, but I have done so without the aid of the others! They will have to recognize my superiority!

The man in the white robe hopped and attempted to click his heels, an expression of joy that no normal person ever earnestly tried. He quickly learned why, too, as one of his shoe soles caught on the hem of his robe. Sayer doubled forward and fell onto his face. And that was when something curious occurred.

His hood collapsed in as if he had no head. This didn’t perturb Sayer, the only occupant of the room, in the slightest. He merely stood and soberly straightened his clothes. Then he reached a hand into his cowl, right where the upper part of his face should have been, and returned the wire supporting the hood back into place.

Feeling far more collected than he had a moment ago, Sayer sat at the desk and read through the sundry files. This was the sort of work he preferred—communication and discussion. Unfortunately, such efforts were not particularly showy, so his successes failed to garner significant prestige in the past.

“Everything will change going forward,” he muttered. “I may be worthless in a fight, but things will be different with Krueger at my beck and call.”

Sayer placed one document at the bottom of the heap and moved on to the next. Halfway down one page, he realized that something had changed. The von Albatross manor was silent.

“No… Not silent,” he muttered, mouth contorting into a vexed slit. A definite noise was growing from somewhere on the opposite side of the estate. It was low yet, and Sayer focused to make it out. “It sounds like…a synth keyboard and…a drum machine?”

Fear lanced through the old man, and cold sweat gathered on his nape.

“No, that’s impossible. We’ve monitored the hero’s progress. It can’t have matured to the point where it can initiate a climax yet.”

Sayer did his best to rationalize and dismiss the building song, but the music refused to be denied. A rock ballad female chorus joined the instrumentals. The hooded man’s withered hands began to tremble.

“...Just how desperate has she gotten?”

♦♦♦

“Master Narou!” Plum cried desperately, unable to help me. Not that I needed her assistance. I was more than capable of taking down this pathetic idiot myself.

One of Krueger’s horns had gored me through the stomach. At least, it looked like it did. For a mindless brute, Kruger must have retained some animal combat instincts because it seemed he understood his attack didn’t actually hurt me. He’d only collided with the stab-proof vest I wore beneath my track jacket.

I’d devised this model myself by studying modern combat armor online back on Earth. By employing techniques from this world, I’d improved the vest’s integrity to the point that it could stop just about any edged weapon, even a lance from a man on horseback. Honestly, it could probably stop arrows and bullets, too. I was just that good.

Since I couldn’t use spells, I had to rely on tricks like this to beat my opponents. That had become a sticking point for me ever since I arrived on this world of my own choice.

It doesn’t matter. I’ll unlock the secrets of magic before too long. There’s no way it could be that challenging for me.

Krueger dug his feet into the ground, trying to push his horn through me to no avail. By the way, if you’re wondering about the raw impact of his charge, I diffused the force using a special martial arts stance I read about in a book once.

Plum screamed again. Honestly, while I was absolutely deserving of her constant attention, her needless shrieking could get on my nerves. I wished she’d have a little more faith in me.

I was the hero, after all. The hero didn’t lose.

All right. I think it’s about time I end this charade.

I sidestepped, disengaging from Krueger. Because he was still trying to impale me, he stumbled forward and crashed into a column.

“I’m fine, Plum. My armor stopped that detestable idiot’s attack perfectly,” I explained.

With her good arm, Plum wiped the tears from her eyes. I scowled to see her so injured. Krueger and that hooded man would pay dearly for what they did to my woman.

“You…are? Oh, thank goodness. I was so worried. But, Master Narou…did you always have that armor? I don’t remember you buying any.”

“I made it myself.”

“Wow! I always knew you were incredible! Wait…when?”

“When you were asleep in the apartment. Focus on the battle. We’re still fighting.”

No sooner did I give my warning than Krueger roared with murderous intent. His skill was a truly fearsome thing. It was a shame that all that power robbed him of his intellect. Not that he possessed much to begin with.

Still, that ability is really something. I’ll have to devise a way to steal it once this is over. It shouldn’t take me too long, probably an hour or two.

It would be a valuable tool in my fight against the hooded man and the rest of his organization—my mortal enemies since the beginning of my adventure.

“Kill…Narou…Shousetsu!” Krueger snarled, swinging his massive hammer at me. There was enough might behind his attacks to reduce just about anyone to a mound of flesh and bone. Of course, I could have stopped them head-on, but I thought it better to evade this time. I spun past Krueger with grace exceeding that of a world-famous ballet dancer. Now I was too close for his weapon to do anything. He could still grab me, though, so I had to act quickly.

“Let’s see how you handle this,” I said with a cold sneer. I was honestly furious over the pain this monster had inflicted on Plum. As a man, my duty was to protect her, and I’d failed.

A handgun slid from my sleeve into my palm. Naturally, it was a model of my design—one I created by studying engineering documents from my world and improving upon them. I also made the quick-draw device that placed the firearm into my grip. Being able to conceal the pistol while still having access to it in less than a second was vital to me.

Sourcing the materials for these devices wasn’t easy. It took at least two whole days. The first challenge was gathering the required funds, but I solved that without any difficulty. While on this planet, I realized that the food was quite bland. There was little in the way of seasoning other than salt, which was a luxury reserved for the rich.

In economics, there’s a concept known as supply and demand. It’s a pretty advanced theory, so few are aware of it. Basically, it means that if you find something people lack and then give it to them, you’ll become super-wealthy. And that’s precisely what I did.

I began by selling mayonnaise, hot sauce, and soy sauce around town in the morning. Don’t worry about where I got the raw ingredients. By noon, I had merchants coming to me offering contract deals to distribute my products in the Ishgald domain. Instead of accepting their proposals, I hired all the merchants under a company I ruled as the president. This new corporation, Vandelay Industries, brought fresh new tastes to the wealthy Ishgald domain and spread across the sea from there.

It was around dusk when one of my ships sailing the ocean reported back with a find that I’d been hoping for—an uninhabited island rich with resources to exploit. The following morning, I had saltpeter and, by extension, gunpowder.

After that, it was simply a matter of drawing up plans for the gun and quick-draw sleeve and giving them to a blacksmith. He was skeptical at first. The most advanced ranged weapons this world had were crossbows, after all. At this point, however, I was rich enough to throw money at him until he agreed. I had the first model in my hands by lunchtime. Unfortunately, the smith made a few critical errors that only I could spot. Thus, I decided to make the second model myself, and it exceeded my expectations in every way.

At the end of the second day, Vandelay Industries had grown beyond selling only condiments and operated as a full import and export company. My genius led it to become the most powerful commercial entity in all of Itannia. It would have been simple to take over the entire world from there, but I was a hero, so I decided not to unless someone crossed me.

I shoved the barrel of my powerful handgun into Krueger’s stomach and pulled the trigger. There was a dull sound, and the great brute shuddered. He stumbled, undoubtedly shocked by the astonishing strength of a weapon that should never have existed in this era.

Krueger looked down at the wound in his abdomen. Blood was pouring from the little hole. I aimed for the spine, hoping to paralyze my opponent, yet it seemed the bullet stopped before reaching its target. Still, the injury gave me enough time to check on Plum.

She’d managed to remain standing. However, I diagnosed that her arm was broken in precisely two-point-seven places. It was clear that Plum was doing her best not to let the pain show on her face so she wouldn’t worry me, but I knew anyway.

“How…did you do that, Master Narou?” Plum asked. Her naivete was highly endearing. Honestly, being able to explain everything to her was a big part of why she was so attractive.

“Using this,” I replied, showing her the pistol. “It’s a weapon from my world.”

Plum examined the firearm. Her feline ears twitched with curiosity. It was very cute. “Um… Sorry, but when did you make that?”

There was no time to reply because Krueger had recovered from the shock of being wholly bested by someone inarguably superior, and was charging in recklessly again.

What a fool. I’ll put his power to much better use once I steal it.

Krueger’s abdomen was too tough to pierce through, but the same wasn’t true for other parts of his body.

And in that case…

I quickly aimed and fired. My second shot sped forward with perfect stabilization and accuracy, thanks to the rifling in the pistol’s barrel, which caused bullets to spin and reduced the amount they strayed. When developing my mark-two handgun, I took advanced military rifling schematics from Earth and improved on them.

Naturally, the projectile found its mark—Krueger’s left kneecap. There was a shattering of bone, and the hulking idiot collapsed. His agonized howls brought me no end of satisfaction. Evidently, his skill didn’t free him from pain. I approached my opponent casually and struck him in the jaw with my foot.

“This is the fate of all who dare hurt those important to me,” I growled before raising my heel and bringing it down on Kruger’s nose. He cried out in anguish, which I found profoundly amusing. “You try to kill us, and now you shriek, hoping for mercy? Those who enter the battlefield must always be prepared to die. Anything less makes you worthless in a fight.”

Crunch!

A bloody tooth spilled from between Krueger’s sickly swollen lips.

“M-Master Narou. You won already. So, um… Could you please stop?”

At first, I wasn’t sure who said that. However, Plum was the only other person in the foyer, so it had to be her. It hurt me to hear her question my actions. I could feel my love for her diminishing.

“Why?” I demanded.

“He’s too hurt to keep fighting, so he isn’t a threat. Beating on someone when they’re down like this… It feels wrong. Everything about this feels wrong.”

“This from the woman who incinerated mongbats without a second thought?”

“That’s…” Plum looked away.

I narrowed my eyes. “Perhaps the shock of that broken arm is making you over-emotional. You should let me tend to it. I read how to set fractured bones in a first-aid manual; it won’t be tough.” My shoe came free of Kruger’s face, dripping with blood. I took a few steps toward Plum, but she retreated. Worry showed plainly in her eyes. Once again, I sensed my affection for her wane. Why was she ruining our relationship by going against what I wanted?

“I think it’d be better to have a healer in Elias mend it,” Plum asserted.

“But I’m here right now, and I’ll do a better job than anyone else, even a person with magic,” I replied with completely justified confidence. My words were indisputable facts.

Still, Plum remained dubious. “Who…are you?”

“So, the trauma really is messing with your senses,” I remarked cooly. “It’s me, Narou, your beloved hero from another world.”

“Vas Flam.”

Shing!

A red magic circle appeared before Plum’s hand.

♦♦♦

The powerful burning sphere shot toward the being that so closely resembled Narou. It raced past him, striking the ground and exploding on the floor that resembled Swiss cheese after all the abuse it had endured.

“What have you done with Master Narou?” Plum demanded. This person before her wore his clothes, his face, his eyes, but it couldn’t be him.

“I’m telling you, I am Narou,” he insisted.

Even his voice was the same. Yet Plum understood that this was not the person she’d come to know. “No. You’re not. Master Narou never had any armor or that strange weapon.”

“Would you quit being so dramatic? I made them myself. You must’ve forgotten, that’s all. You were the one who wanted me to be an invincible hero. I was only trying to do my best to live up to your expectations.”

Plum bit her lip. The way this imposter talked needled at her heart. It reminded Plum of how she spoke of herself to Narou—the real one. Hearing it from another made her realize how terrible it sounded.

Master Narou always reminded me to stop putting myself down. So this can’t be him. He’d never be so cruel.

Plum’s hero was nothing like what she expected. Narou didn’t possess any incredible knowledge from his world that made him invincible here, he was cowardly in fights, and he refused Plum’s romantic and sexual advances at every turn. She couldn’t recall a day they’d spent together that didn’t include some petty argument. That was Narou—overly concerned with the minuscule things that troubled Plum so little she forgot them most of the time.

And yet, even though Narou was weak, timid, and whiny, he was the only person who stood by Plum. He made no secret of his distaste for her dreams, but he never abandoned her. Maybe it was out of necessity at first, but Plum wanted to believe it grew to be more. When she thought about their relationship, she had to admit it wasn’t what she hoped for…

But it’s still precious to me!

“I don’t know what’s happened to you, Narou. If you’re under some kind of spell, please fight it. Let my words pull you out of this horrible trance!”

The imposter scowled. He took another step forward, and Plum raised her hand to ward him off. It didn’t deter him this time.

“Master,” he snarled.

“What?”

“It’s Master Narou,” the fake corrected condescendingly. “Or did you forget who owns you?”

Plum’s Combat Precognition skill alerted her to the overwhelming bloodlust emanating from the imposter. It beat against the young woman like a wave, heavy and thick, but she didn’t falter.

“No,” Plum said defiantly. “It’s just Narou. That’s what he wanted. He’s not my master. He’s my friend.”

The faker’s eye twitched with vexation. “You little… Do you think I need you? I could have any girl in the world. I need only snap my fingers to find a replacement.” He held up a hand and prepared to snap, a mock demonstration of how simple the task would be.

“Do it then,” Plum shot back.

The imposter looked surprised. “What?”

“Do it. Snap your fingers and replace me.”

“I will! That’s all it will take! You’ll be alone forever, Plum. You think anyone else would tolerate your freakish tendencies?”

“I got by on my own before. I can do it again.”

The false Narou screwed up his face like a petulant child. His cheeks were hot with embarrassment. “You think you’re better than me, you bitch?” He leveled the strange little weapon he’d used on Kreiger at Plum. Cold fear lanced through the girl. Plum knew how quickly that device loosed its projectiles. It would be difficult to evade, even if she poured all her remaining magical power into mana strengthening.

Click.

The imposter pulled the trigger on his strange weapon. A flash burst from the opening at the end of the barrel. Plum ducked out of the way, but the pain from her injuries caused her to fall. She felt the rush of air as something sped above her head.

The false Narou sneered. “You’re not getting away”. He brought the barrel so close it nearly touched Plum’s forehead. Another click, and the world turned white. Plum’s body collapsed on the floor. Blood pooled around her lifeless form.

THE HERO CANNOT KILL THE PRIMARY FEMALE PROTAGONIST

“Plum?” Narou called. He looked around, utterly baffled. The last thing he recalled was recklessly charging in to help his friend fight a demonic Krueger and his hammer with the savage badonkadonk.

Now, Krueger was inexplicably lying on the ground with several truly horrific injuries. Were it not for his low and groaning breaths, Narou would’ve assumed the man was dead.

“Narou…? Is it… Is it really you in there?”

The young man from Earth turned at the familiar voice to find Plum staring at him, terrified. Narou was hardly a medical expert, but one of the girl’s arms looked in a terrible state. Her other was outstretched at him, trembling.

Confused, Narou replied, “Huh? What’s going on? Did you take down Krueger?”

Plum shook her head, and Narou saw tears rolling down her reddened cheeks. “You did. Or something controlling you. I’m…not sure.”

“Me?”

“You used…this weapon… I’ve never seen anything like it. It was like a miniature crossbow, but with all the force of my fire magic condensed into a tiny stone. And you had some kind of armor. Krueger charged you… I thought you were dead, but that vest protected you. Then, when you turned around, you were…different.”

Narou raised a hand to his chest. He felt the material of his track jacket and the t-shirt beneath it, but nothing more. He certainly didn’t have any weapon on his person.

“I don’t think I have either of those things.” Narou felt as though he’d been roused from dreamless slumber to find a massacre.

“But it was…” Plum’s eyes were wide with disbelief. Then her expression changed, and she appeared at war with herself. “You had that weapon and…pointed it at…me? No, you didn’t. Then… Why?” Plum ran a hand across her forehead and gasped. Whatever she was searching for wasn’t there, and she pulled her fingers away. “I’m sorry, I can’t remember all of it now. But I know that a monstrous person that called himself the hero was the one who defeated Krueger.”

Plum’s account led Narou to a frightening possibility. Unwilling to voice his thought for fear it would breathe it into definite reality, he looked at Plum silently instead. A similar terror hung in her wet eyes as she nodded.

Scenario Covering.

Somehow, it took control of Narou so thoroughly that he couldn’t recall his actions.

“It shields the bearer from harm or inconvenience and guides them on their valiant journey,” Narou muttered. Now the skill’s description rang more like a warning than a promise of power. What counted as an inconvenience and how much guidance was truly necessary were both relative. When faced with a bearer who was utterly average and desired only to return home, perhaps Scenario Covering judged it essential to seize authority to ensure that events continued within its desired parameters.

But it did more than that… I never had any armor or weapons.

Had the skill created them from thin air? Maybe the possessed Narou manufactured them at speeds too swift for the natural eye to process? Either answer suggested that Narou’s skill had a staggering amount of strength—far more than anything he’d seen it display.

Does it have something to do with what happened at that store?

“Narou,” Plum called. “A lot is going on that neither of us understands. But, for the moment, you’re you again. I think our best bet at an answer is that white-robed man. He definitely knows what’s going on.”

Although Narou’s mind was whirling with more questions than he could handle, he knew Plum was right. “We can’t leave him here like this, though.” He motioned to poor Krueger. The demonic horns had vanished from his head, and he looked like a regular man again, albeit in grievous condition.

Plum shook her head. “I don’t know recovery spells. The best I can do is cauterize his wounds. That won’t do anything for his insides, though”

“We could search for that little guy who was healing him before,” Narou suggested.

“He could be anywhere by now. We don’t even know if he’s in the manor. And the more time we spend here, the more of a chance that hooded man has to flee now that he’s got no one to protect him,” Plum countered.

Narou gritted his teeth in frustration. He certainly harbored no goodwill toward Krueger. The brute tried to kill him twice, after all. Yet it was clear that Krueger had been used, and enemy or not, the notion of killing a person—even by inaction—sat poorly with Narou.

This might be my only chance of finding clues to get home…

“Damn it,” he spat. “Do what you can for Krueger, and then let’s get moving.”

Plum nodded, then got to work. Using a white-hot flame no wider than her fingertip, she set about the unpleasant work of searing the barely conscious Kruger’s injuries shut. Narou couldn’t imagine anything more painful and averted his eyes from the sight. To his surprise, Krueger didn’t cry out in agony. The most he could muster was a low groan.

Narou found himself wishing that Krueger would shout from the pain, however. At least then it wouldn’t feel like they were abandoning a half-dead man.

And I killed him…

It had been Scenario Covering in the driver’s seat, but Narou felt responsible nonetheless. Krueger was awful, but none deserved to be so brutalized. And since there was no telling when Narou’s skill might reassert its dominance, the same fate could befall more people.

“All the more reason to unravel what’s going on and go home…,” Narou muttered. There was a keen bitterness to the words.

“I’m finished,” Plum said, wholly dispirited. Her usual vibrant demeanor had dimmed to the glow of a cloudy pond, and her legs trembled.

Narou caught sight of Plum’s broken arm again and bit his lip hard enough that a metallic taste crossed the tip of his tongue. Even with healing magic, would it really be okay? He didn’t know if spells could repair delicate things like nerve damage.

Narou wanted to tell Plum to stay behind, to go back to Elias and get help for Krueger and herself, but it was futile. Plum would never leave Narou in danger. That’s the sort of person she was.

“Devoted to the hero to the point of self-sacrifice.” Narou had to agree that described Plum accurately. He thought there was more to it, however.

I’m literally helpless without her.

If Narou did manage to convince Plum to head to town, he’d have to confront Sayer alone. Should it come down to a fight, and the hooded man possessed any powerful weapons or magic, Narou would die. Relying on Scenario Covering was out of the question now that he understood what it could do, making him defenseless without Plum.

It stung Narou’s soul. It stung to have his inabilities laid bare before him, and it stung to know he was taking advantage of a friend’s nature. What else was there to do, though? Answers waited behind a door that Narou couldn’t open himself.

“All right. Let’s get going, then.”

CHAPTER 10

Someone Gets Engaged in This One

Narou and Plum hurried up the foyer staircase. Fortunately, most of the steps had survived Krueger’s rampage. The hooded man called Sayer had retreated somewhere deeper into the manor’s second floor, which meant searching each chamber for him.

It was entirely possible he’d fled the estate upon sensing the fight had turned against his pawns, but the only way to know for sure was to check.

Please… Please still be here, Narou entreated to whoever might listen. We’re gambling a life on this… Please…

The first few rooms were vacant, with half-made beds and abandoned platters of food left to spoil. Sayer had probably taken everyone in the estate hostage. Narou thought back to the bratty daughter of the von Albatross family and how all she wanted was to escape this place. He hoped she was safe, wherever she was.

A few scrutinized chambers later, there was still no trace of the hooded man. Naoru could feel his heart sink as more and more it appeared that he and Plum were doomed not to find their quarry.

“Wait…” Narou called. He and Plum were halfway through their search when he spotted something that gave him pause.

“What is it?” Plum asked.

“We should check that one. If he’s anywhere on the second floor, it’s there.” Narou pointed to the doors at the very end of the hall.

“Are you sure?”

“Honestly, no. But I have a pretty good feeling.”

The doors in question were more ornate than those flanking the corridor, and they were larger, too. In video games and anime, the big villain typically awaited the hero in the furthest chamber, which was also the most decorative to instill a greater sense of importance. If Sayer was still in the von Albatross manor, he had to be in that room. At least, Narou hoped so.

He and Plum hurried to the double doors at the end of the hallway. Narou felt his stomach drop when he realized there was no noise from beyond, but he seized a handle anyway, and Plum took the other.

“Ready?” she asked.

Narou nodded. “Yeah.” It was a lie, of course. The young man hadn’t been prepared for any of this. It didn’t matter if he was, though, because it would happen regardless. The only question was whether he would sit idle or take the initiative. As he pushed his door open and Plum did the same with hers, Narou wondered when he’d grown so proactive. He certainly hadn’t been that way on Earth.

Maybe it’s Scenario Covering, he mused sardonically. What terrible irony that the reason he was taking a more assertive role in his own life was a mysterious power that threatened to hijack his body.

The room beyond the double doors was by no means small, but it appeared more cramped than it was for the bookshelves that covered nearly every inch of the walls. Volumes of assorted heights and thickness lined the rows, and here and there, a yellowed piece of parchment jutted from between them. In the middle of the cozy library was a desk messy with documents. Atop the papers was a little leather-bound journal. A man wrapped in a white robe sat behind the desk. Only his mouth and chin were visible beneath his cowl.

“Perhaps it was folly to believe I ever had a chance of escaping you, Hero,” Sayer greeted, wry amusement twisting his dry lips. “Oh? Not the hero. I speak to Narou Shousetsu. Well, that’s something of a relief, although only just.”

“What are you talking about?” Narou questioned as he stepped cautiously into the chamber. “Who are you, and why do you know so much about me?”

“Would it be too cheeky to claim it’s simply because you sold me your smartphone for a few clava? Yes, I suppose it would be.” Sayer stood and picked up the leather journal with one knobby hand.

Plum extended her working arm in warning, ready to conjure a destructive spell at a moment’s notice. “No tricks, deceiver. We want answers. Why did you seize this estate, and what do you know about Narou?”

Sayer’s expression shifted to one of surprise for a moment, but then he grinned. “Hoh? The primary female protagonist has dropped the ‘master’ prefix? Most unusual. That sort of character development is most unlike her. She truly is hastening this cycle along…”

“You mentioned protagonists earlier, too. Why are you talking like this is a story?” Narou pressed.

“Why? Because it is, of course. None should know that better than the hero. Or should I say the hero’s vessel? Surely you remember how you arrived on this planet.” Sayer thumbed through the pages of the journal as though scanning them, but his eyes were concealed, so it wasn’t easy to tell.

“How I… The book!” With everything else going on since Narou came to Erd, he hadn’t given the hefty tome with the moving image much thought. “Are you saying this is a world inside the book?”

Sayer shook his head. “Not quite; more that it is a place influenced by the writing. I trust you’ve noticed this planet doesn’t operate entirely like your native one. Things seem to go your way when they shouldn’t, yes? The very fact that I am still here for you to find is proof enough of that. It should have taken me only a few moments to depart upon realizing that Krueger would lose. And to me, it was only those few moments. However, I imagine it was a great deal more time for you and your companion.”

Narou didn’t understand everything Sayer was going on about, but it was clear that he comprehended the situation far better than anyone else. Perhaps he took pride in that, for he straightened his crooked back a little.

“Are you the one who took control of him?” Plum demanded. She kept her palm held out and her eyes narrowed hatefully.

Sayer shook his head. “Not I, primary female protagonist. Not I. Ironically enough, Narou Shousetsu is the only person beyond my power. And yet, I’d gladly relinquish control of all others if it meant mastery over the hero.”

Anxiety churned and tightened in Narou’s chest, leaving him short of breath. While this old man wasted time indulging in beguiling vagaries, Krueger was dying below.

“Enough with this mysterious act. Just give us a straight answer!” Narou shouted. “You’ve lost, and if things here do work like you say, then this is the part where you spill your plan to us.”

Sayer grinned again. Narou was quickly growing to hate that smile. “I suppose this would be the point when I confess my scheme. Alas, you’ve come expecting the crocodile and instead found a plover. Yes, it all operates in a certain way, doesn’t it? Sometimes, we fail even to recognize its subtleties. Tell me, Narou Shousetsu, can you recall any time you’ve bathed since arriving here? Can you remember each meal you’ve had or what you did on days when nothing heroic or adventurous took place? And why have you never laundered or changed your clothes?”

“I…” Narou began, but he quickly trailed off. He remembered acknowledging that the apartment he shared with Plum had no bath and that he’d need to use a public one. Despite wracking his brain, the young man couldn’t find any memories of visiting a bath. He could envision the nikujaga Plum made and the food at Nanam’s house, but few other meals. And although Narou had been through multiple fights and journeys, his clothes looked none the worse for wear.

“Such activities do not propel the hero’s journey forward, Narou Shousetsu. They are unnecessary—the things one might not notice were missing until another remarked on their absence. What use is there in the hero washing if it is not an excuse for him to accidentally wander into the women’s bath to be surrounded by titillating, bare flesh? Or perhaps the female leads would sneak into his bath? Both are possible.” Sayer’s voice carried the tone of a lecturer, but there was pity in it, too. “I wonder… What does it feel like to only really exist part of the time?”

Sayer’s words couldn’t affect Narou the way they did others, yet he felt them acutely. This place was far closer to an isekai than Narou had dared to imagine. It excised portions that didn’t suit the mold.

And if that’s the case… How long will it be until I’m erased?

Isekai heroes didn’t typically want to return home. They settled into their fantasy worlds and abused whatever cheat abilities they were granted. If Narou didn’t play along, would this world, or whoever ran it, write him out of the story? It had already occurred once during the fight with Krueger.

The abrupt sound of heavy boots thundering up the staircase and down the hall reached the study. Narou could make out shouting, as well.

“Oh, so they’ve gotten free of my control and the dungeon? How convenient. It’s not altogether surprising, but I am disappointed to have failed so spectacularly. Still, the information you provided me should prove useful.” Sayer turned the leather-bound journal back to its first page and lifted a hand to place it upon the parchment.

Realizing what was about to happen, Narou cried, “Plum! We have to stop him!”

“Right!” she answered. “Vas Flam!”

Shing!

A crimson magic circle burst to life, releasing a blast of white-hot flame. The intense force of the spell sent a hot breeze ripping through the room, blowing Sayer’s hood off and revealing something shocking.

Sayer had only a mouth and chin.

His head plateaued just above his top lip. The perfectly flat surface resembled polished stone. It looked like the top half of his skull had been shorn clean off.

Narou could hardly believe the sight, thinking it had to be a trick.

As Plum’s spell closed in, Sayer placed his hand upon the page and…

Vrrrrrroaaawwuuuaowwwwwww kih kih kih…

…he disappeared. It began with the fingers on the journal, and then it traveled up the arm until Sayer’s entire form vanished like paper eaten by hungry embers. Surprisingly, the book didn’t disappear with the half-headless man, and Narou hoped for a moment he could use it to pursue. Yet to his dismay, Sayer had timed his departure such that the journal met Plum’s fireball in midair.

Flames exploded, scorching the yellow-white parchment black. The little book struck the ground like a lump of coal, spitting a puff of soot on impact.

“No!” Narou cried as he hurriedly scooped up his only chance. The charred leather burned his hands, but he didn’t care.

Most of the pages were damaged beyond recognition, although a few bits had survived here and there. The first page, where Narou assumed a moving image should have been, now displayed a dead black void in the center, a clear testament to the journal’s lost power.

“Damn it… I guess I should’ve seen this coming, right? The villain always makes a getaway,” Narou muttered.

“I’m sorry,” Plum said, her voice quivering. “I didn’t… I truly didn’t mean to.” She walked over to Narou and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Narou nodded. “I know, Plum. He baited us into destroying the book to make sure we couldn’t follow.”

Plum leaned over to get a better look at the ruined journal. “Looks like a couple of spots are legible. Maybe we can learn something by studying them,” she suggested.

Narou gave her a tiny, hollow grin while stowing the scorched book in his track jacket. “Yeah. Maybe. But first, we need to get you and Kruger some help.”

It was then that the doors to the study were thrown open, and a contingent of armored guards Narou recognized poured in, quickly surrounding him and Plum. Their equipment was dirty, owing to several days’ neglect.

“Uh… Um…” the young man floundered.

The actual culprit had vanished, and the room was a mess. Tiny embers still glowed on the floor and walls from Plum’s spell, and a few books were smoldering. It was a damning scene to be caught in.

“There was another man here. He’s the one who took over the manor, not us! He wore a hood to conceal that he has no face above his mouth!” Plum tried her best to explain, but as Narou listened, he feared it was only making things worse.

“Not to worry. We’re all well aware that the hooded man is at fault.” Someone said. At this, two guards stepped aside to make way for a man with his arms folded behind his back. His suit, like the guards’ armor, was disheveled, as was his platinum blond hair. His lordly visage remained intact, though.

The apparent master of the house brought a hand to what had been a neat moustache a week ago, straightening one side of it unconsciously as he spoke. “I am Count Hector von Albatross, ruler of the von Albatross domain. And it appears I owe you a sizable debt.”

Stepping out from behind the nobleman was a young woman with silver hair like her father’s and a cutting-board chest. Her attire was wholly different—she was garbed in a frilly blue dress with a flower of fabric on one shoulder—but Narou still recognized her as Alba, the girl who’d forced him on a date. The carefree attitude she’d displayed back then was gone. She stood by her parent like an awkward doll.

“Ah…,” she cooed softly upon spotting Narou. “You’re the baka from the other day.”

“Quiet, Alba, Father is speaking,” Count von Albatross chided, creepily referring to himself in the third person. His child shrank back, head lowered in defeat. Narou wondered where the young adventurer-to-be he’d met on the streets of Elias had gone. The present Alba reminded him of a caged lion at the zoo. The sort that constantly paced back and forth.

“My name is Narou Shousetsu, and this is my friend, Plum.” The young man bowed deeply as he spoke, with the cat anima following suit. Narou didn’t know the proper etiquette for greeting an aristocrat and hoped this was acceptable.

“You two came just in the nick of time. My daughter, guards, and I were held captive in my own dungeon for nearly a week. That dastardly fellow’s strange magic kept us docile while he and his minions made a mess of the estate.

“Of course, we all did our best to resist the influence of his words. Yet had you been even a day later, I fear we would have been wholly bewitched and done whatever that hooded man ordered. Now I feel his power weakening,” Count von Albatross explained.

“The mind control’s gone? Just like that?” Narou asked. Were Sayer’s powers limited by range? Perhaps maintaining domination over others required constant focus. Plum and Narou never actually hit him, though. Their actions didn’t feel like enough to disrupt Sayer’s ability.

Maybe it’s because we beat him in a story sense?

When a demon lord lost to a hero, their evil power waned instantly, and light returned to the land in a matter of moments. Was this similar?

Count von Albatross scoffed. “Can you believe he intended to seize control of the domain, dissolve the ruling class, and build a new government where everyone has a say in how laws are made and funds are used? Preposterous. A land with no aristocrats to keep the common rabble in line? Where the poors choose leaders? It’s unheard of! Only a true monster could conjure up something so obscene!”

Uh, wait a second… Was Sayer actually the good guy in all of this? I mean, he did try to kill us, so “good” probably isn’t the right word for his methods…

“I don’t know what brought you here, and I confess I would normally turn lowly types like you two away on sight. However, you have proven exceptional, despite your social standings.”

I can’t tell whether he’s praising or insulting us. Narou’s expression was strained, but he forced a smile.

Plum, meanwhile, stared at Alba, unconcerned with the count’s backhanded remarks.

Right. She was pretty jealous of her. Narou hoped Plum would behave.

“Name your reward, and I shall provide it for you, so long as it is within my power to grant.” Count von Albatross’s speech sounded well-practiced. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time he’d compensated a hero.

Narou wouldn’t be surprised to learn events like this one were a weekly thing here. Regardless, this was a golden opportunity.

“Well, if we could access your library for some research, that would be really helpful.” Truthfully, Narou also wanted to ask for money, but that felt improper after wrecking the manor.

“A cash reward wouldn’t hurt, either,” Plum appended.

…

“Hey! We can’t ask for that much after destroying his house!” Narou whispered through a clenched grin.

Shielding her mouth, Plum replied quietly, “But we could really use the money. Unless you want to take on some more quests…”

“…You know, what’s the harm in asking, right? The worst he could say is ‘No.’”

Although Count von Albatross frowned at Plum’s remark, he didn’t refuse. “Very well. I’ll see you’re paid a sum befitting your deeds.”

Narou sighed with relief, then remembered what brought him here in the first place. “Oh, that’s right…” He reached into an interior pocket of his track jacket and pulled out the silver ring. “Alba, er, Lady Alba, you dropped this the other day. We actually came to give it back to you.”

Narou offered the band engraved with the von Albatross family’s coat of arms, and the room suddenly went mute. Some of the guards looked astonished, while others appeared furious or heartbroken.

“Uh… What?” Narou asked, unsure sure what prompted this dramatic shift in tone.

Alba was the most flabbergasted of all. She frantically patted herself all over, as though hoping to find a copy of the ring. All the while, she gradually reddened until the color reached the tips of her ears.

“Well, it seems I’ve not only met a new pair of heroes but also my son-in-law,” Count von Albatross said. “I would have preferred that you were of better standing, but your deed today should be sufficient for an exception.”

Plum, in an unusual display of cool-headedness, was the one to inquire, “Sorry, but could you please explain what’s going on? Being commoners, we’re unfamiliar with the refined customs of nobles.”

The words sounded so mature and level-headed that Narou thought a ventriloquist was speaking through his friend for a moment. Where was this Plum back in the Adventurers Guild?

Count von Albatross cleared his throat. ‘When my daughter was born, a seer foretold that the one who returned Alba’s lost ring would wed her. He would take the reins of the von Albatross family and govern the domain as the rightful successor.

Narou blinked vacantly a few times before replying, “Sir, I am fifteen years old.”

Unfortunately, what was meant as a refusal was misunderstood as acceptance. Count von Albatross nodded. “Yes, a perfect time to take a wife. Some say that fourteen, the earliest one can get married, is best. However, I’m of the opinion that a man should have time for himself first.”

What kind of Dark Age logic is this?! Who’s out there forcing kids to get married right when they enter adolescence?!

“Er, l-look. I don’t know about this whole wedding thing. Frankly, I don’t plan on being here for very long, and I’ve got a lot going on in my life right now.” As the shackles of abrupt matrimony closed around Narou, he wriggled like an eel in a net.

“Now, now, there’s no need to be modest. The seer predicted it, so I’m sure it will all work out,” the count assured.

“But is it really a ‘prediction’ if you’re making it happen? Has no one else handed Lady Alba that ring before?” Narou argued.

“Well, sure, there was that one young lady a year ago, but that wouldn’t have worked.” Count von Albatross waved away the notion with a hand.

Narou sighed.

Alba, head down like a scolded dog’s, tried to interject. “Father, I think we’re putting a lot on this baka very suddenly. Couldn’t we at least give him some time to consider? And his friend appears to require a healer.”

Without bothering to look at his child, Count von Albatross rapped the fingernail of one index finger against his metal belt buckle.

Tink, tink, tink.

It was a high sound, one not at all frightening. Yet Alba recoiled as surely as if it were a sword coming free of its scabbard.

“Perhaps some time for you to settle into the idea would be best,” the count declared like this was his idea from the start. Narou was swiftly learning why Alba was so eager to get out of the house. “And someone fetch a healer for the anima.”

A pair of guards hurried out of the room at the command.

Before they got too far, Narou said, “There’s also a large man unconscious at the entrance to your manor. He needs urgent medical attention, too.”

Count von Albatross scowled. “What, the brute working for the hooded man? I saw him lifeless on the floor of my foyer, and he can remain that way for all I care, although preferably not in my foyer.”

The air drained from the room, and Narou’s body felt heavy and cold. Krueger’s dead? I…killed him?

Amidst icy despair, a warm hand reached out and took Narou’s hand to console him. Plum mustered a smile. “You can’t blame yourself, Narou. We did everything we could to help him.”

“What are you doing addressing the future ruler of the von Albatross domain so casually? You must call him Master Narou from now on,” Count von Albatross scolded.

Narou exchanged a look with Plum.

Two steps forward…and one step back. Still, at least we’re moving forward…

The pair of soldiers that scurried off to find a healer returned with one quickly. It couldn’t have been a person from Elias unless the guards possessed super-speed—which wasn’t entirely off the table in this world. However, the middle-aged woman’s priestly robes sported the same symbol the guards had on their tabards. The von Albatross family likely employed her.

At one time, Narou might have thought it a bit excessive to keep a personal healer on standby, but after the many dangers he’d seen, it felt perfectly rational. He wondered if this conveniently accessible healer was due to Scenario Covering, but decided it didn’t matter. So long as Plum got the medical attention she needed, it was fine.

The woman quietly examined Plum’s battered limb with seasoned competency. She was a stone-faced sort, making it difficult to judge from her faint reactions if the arm could be mended. When the healer concluded her inspection, she held out a hand and muttered an incantation.

Shing!

A green magical array formed before her palm and cast light on Plum’s arm.

Wait, you can whisper the incantations? Why’s everyone always shouting them, then? Seems like all that does is tell everyone what you’re d—Narou’s train of thought came to an abrupt crash when he saw the spell take effect.

Video games and manga typically didn’t show damaged tissue and bone repairing themselves when someone drank a potion or the like. However, reality was not so kind.

Plum’s arm, awash in verdant light, twisted as though of its own volition. Bones cracked upsettingly as they realigned themselves and refused. Muscle and sinew slithered over thereafter. And at the end of the grotesque display, the torn flesh knitted itself whole like thread led by a needle.

Narou had seen the same thing happen to Kruger, but it was from a distance. This was like a front-row view in an operating theater playing at one hundred times the speed.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Plum said to the healer, unbothered by the horror show. “Hm? Na—Master Narou, why are you on your hands and knees?”

The young man’s head drooped so low that his nose scraped the plush carpet on the floor. Beads of sickly cold sweat dotted his forehead, and his face was the color of ash.

“It’s… It’s nothing. Just a—hurp—little yoga. Is your arm all right?”

“I think s—”

“Well of course it is. Vasera is the best healer in the domain. It’s why I keep her on retainer. Pray, don’t insult me further by doubting her skill,” Count von Albatross cut in.

…

Now wearing a tight grin, Plum replied, “I think so. I’ll definitely need to stretch and exercise the regenerated muscle, but I can move my arm and fingers without issue.”

That’s a relief… Who knew healing could be so awful? It had been everything uncanny about a deep fake combined with the gore of a late entry in a torture-porn horror movie franchise.

“Since that’s settled, perhaps we should discuss a wedding date,” Count Albatross said.

“Erk!” Narou, having only just stood, nearly collapsed again. The way this aristocrat spoke was like being hit with a brick wall, and he possessed all the subtlety of one, too. “M-maybe we could talk about that later? I’d like to rest and mull a few things over first.”

Naturally, Narou wanted to outright refuse and berate the count for choosing his daughter’s spouse via such an arbitrary system. Offending the man risked being deprived of the reward, though.

“He’s shy, sir,” Plum appended. In between arm stretches, she was rolling her shoulder. “Your fair daughter is no small prize, and for a commoner—hero though he may be—she is blindingly radiant. Could you find it in your heart to allow him a few days to collect himself, that he might face his fiancée as befits noble tradition?”

There’s that mature tone again. Even Plum’s posture had shifted, becoming more refined.

“Ah…,” Alba exclaimed softly, as though in realization. She offered nothing further, however.

Her father made a face like he was having trouble in the bathroom, then nodded. “Very well. If it is to ensure the proper decorum, I see no harm. Hero or not, I’d be a laughing stock if my son-in-law didn’t carry himself adequately.” The count’s eyes—green like his daughter’s but beadier—scanned Narou, scrutinizing his every imperfection.

“I-is something wrong with the way I stand?”

“Plently,” the count answered with a snort. “But we can address that another time. I must tend to the manor, so take your leave at your leisure. One of the guards can show you out.”

As before, two guards volunteered for the task.

“Oh, okay. Thank you, sir,” said Narou. “When can I stop by to use your library?”

“Whenever you please, of course. It’ll be the perfect chance to go over wedding plans. I’ll also have the clava prepared in expectation of your return.”

Narou sighed, and while a pair of von Albatross guards showed him and Plum out of the estate, he got the feeling he was leaving more empty-handed than he entered. He took heart in knowing that Plum was all right and that they had Sayer’s journal.

Putting a stop to this wedding doesn’t sound like it’s going to be easy, though…

♦♦♦

“Ugh, what a day.” The words were muffled, for Narou’s head was presently buried deep in his cot’s pillow. To gripe this way felt inadequate considering all that happened, but he wasn’t sure what else to do. Narou had never suffered through a day like this on Earth, so he didn’t know what to do but complain.

“I never expected we’d run into so much trouble just trying to deliver that ring,” Plum called from over by the stove. She was preparing a mild-smelling stew in a pot. The sight of her cooking sent a guilty pang lancing through Narou’s gut.

“Hey, uh, I don’t know if I’ll be of any use, but can I help you with that?”

“Hm?” Plum looked over her shoulder while stirring. A little grin formed on her face. “Sure. Can you take over here so I can cut the vegetables?”

Narou stood, trotted over, and took the wooden spoon from his friend, moving it lazily through the broth.

“Can you remember each meal you’ve had or what you did on days when nothing heroic or adventurous took place?”

Narou sighed. “If only he didn’t get away…,” he muttered like a curse against himself. Narou looked down at the stew. It was brown and faintly tinged with red. Had Plum spiced it with something? In an actual medieval world, spices would be a rare commodity they could never afford. This was a very different sort of place, however. Today was an excellent reminder of that. Narou sighed again.

Will I…remember this meal? I’m aware of it now, but maybe I was conscious of the other things Scenario Covering skipped as they were happening. Will I wake up tomorrow with this memory erased because it’s irrelevant to being a hero?

He didn’t know if that was how it worked, and that was the most frustrating part. Narou thought to write things down in case he didn’t remember, but ink and paper weren’t cheap, and his phone shattered to pieces when Sayer threw it in the foyer.

Plum finished slicing the greens and carefully scraped them off the cutting board into the pot. “Make sure to keep stirring,” she instructed, and Narou continued his task with a robotic motion, for his mind was far away.

When the meal was ready, the two sat at the little table in their apartment with their steaming bowls. Narou kept staring at the brown stew.

“Let’s dig in,” Plum said in a way that was totally natural and definitely not an awkward translation of a culturally exclusive phrase from another language.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Let’s eat.”

The stew was less spicy than Narou expected, or perhaps he didn’t taste it because the broth was hot and burned his tongue slightly. There was nothing remarkable about the dinner by any stretch of the imagination, but he made sure to savor every spoonful, every dip of bread, and even the heat.

If Narou woke up tomorrow and his tongue felt prickly, he’d know this had occurred. Then he could compliment Plum on the stew she made yesterday, and she’d remind him that he helped. Perhaps Narou would ask her how to make it so that he could pitch in more next time. They had some ingredients that were bound to spoil before long, so preparing the same thing for dinner tomorrow, or maybe for lunch, wasn’t out of the question.

A little taste left on the lips, a spicy burp, a few taste buds swollen from the light scalding…

That’s all it would take.

EPILOGUE

(Sequel Bait)

A small figure, the boss, walked down a dark passage. This hallway had never known the touch of light, a fact that should have made it rather ominous and mysterious. However, all it truly did was ensure no one could see where they were going. Walking in pitch blackness was unnerving, even when the route was familiar, so the boss moved with one hand outstretched while the other felt along the wall.

Squish.

“Nya…”

She found the doorknob, although it was with her massive chest, not her hand. The boss’s feline tail and ears shivered at the mild surprise, but she recovered swiftly and opened the door. The room beyond was just as dark as the corridor, perhaps more, if that were possible.

“Oh, you’re here,” said a female voice from inside. It was utterly impossible to know this because the room was lightless, but it may interest you to learn that this other woman also possessed large breasts. “You’re a bit late, Boss.”

“Of course I am, see? Can’t see a damned thing in this place, see? Nya, how anyone is ever on time here is beyond me, see? Nya.”

“This policy was only enacted because you emphasized the importance of operating in the dark, Boss.”

“Now listen here, you screwball. I said working in the shadows—totally different, see? Nya.” The boss groped around blindly until her knuckles wrapped against the back of a chair. She took hold of it, pulled it out from the table, and sat herself down very cautiously. “Anyway, what’s the skinny? You wouldn’t call without something useful, nya.”

“That’s right.” The woman nodded, not that the boss saw the gesture. “We’ve finally located the asset.”

“Nya? And where has our little project run off to?”

“Elias, according to one of our agents. She’s living with a young man hailed as a local hero of sorts.”

The boss grinned, baring her sharp canines, not that the other woman saw the gesture. “The von Albatross domain, nya? So, our little runaway’s been hiding at the next-door neighbor’s all along? I was sure she’d have flown the coop and split from Itannia altogether.”

“Delinquent children never go very far,” the woman replied. “Boss, I request your permission to retrieve the asset myself.”

“Oh, nya? If the old noodle’s workin’ properly, she escaped while under your supervision, nya? Are you sure you’re up for a second chance? There ain’t gonna be a third, if you get my meaning, see? Nya.”

The woman exhaled confidently. Then she adjusted her glasses, which shone ominously, something that should have been impossible without any light. “I was too soft on her the first time. I see that now. This won’t be a repeat performance.” The words came out icy and sharp, cutting the air like a scalpel.

“Music to my years. But let’s keep the din down, nya? The von Albatross domain’s only a skip and a jump away, see?”

“Of course, Boss. Thank you.”

Self-Indulgent Afterword

Ahhhhhhhh! It’s done!

That’s how I feel right now. Hello, everyone. My name is T.K. Manne, and I’m the author. I’m writing this in late November, intending to publish the ebook in January. So, did I make my deadline?

Before anything else, I’d like to thank you for taking a chance and reading my very silly story. I hope you found some enjoyment in it.

When not beating my keyboard against the ground like an incensed ape—also known as my “writing process”—I actually work helping to get Japanese light novels translated and published in English. Naturally, that means I’ve wound up reading a lot of light novels I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. After a while, I noticed some common patterns. That, in turn, inspired me to write a parody that flipped many of those tropes.

Narou, for example, is an inversion of the typical isekai protagonist. He’s not particularly interested in this new fantasy world or growing stronger. Instead, he hates the generic setting and wants to escape. Additionally, he’s much more of a “realistic” average high-school student. At least in the sense that he isn’t super intelligent and brave. Still, for all his faults and complaints, he’s a good person deep down. Perhaps he’ll grow more courageous as the narrative continues (whether he wants to or not).

While this story is meant to poke fun at light novel conventions, particularly isekai stories, I didn’t want it to come off too mean-spirited. I’m the sort of person who teases those he likes, but lovingly. I hope that came across in the narrative.

Are you interested in the next volume? I know I am! Unfortunately, while I’d love to say when volume two is scheduled to release, I can’t commit to any specific date. My regular work is pretty demanding and gets to be exhausting at times. The goal is to have volume two out in no more than a year. Hopefully sooner. Sorry, I know that’s a long time to wait.

Meanwhile, feel free to contact me on Twitter (@TKManne) or Facebook (@AuthorTKManne). Currently, I have… Well, I have no followers, haha. I don’t really enjoy or use social media, but I figured if I wanted to be an author in some capacity, I needed to get an account.

The upside is that if you contact me, there’s a good chance I’ll reply! I’d be delighted to hear about the things you enjoyed in the story.

Speaking of Twitter, go follow Kukuri (@kukuri_4)! They’re the incredible artist that did the excellent cover and interior illustrations! I was perusing Twitter looking for an artist for the book a few months back, and as soon as I saw Kukuri’s drawings, I was like, “They’re perfect!” Kukuri was an absolute joy to work with and was very patient with all my notes about little character specifics.

Thank you, Kukuri! I’m sorry I was so fussy over the details!

And since I’m thanking people, thank you all again for buying and reading this book! You’ve made a guy who sits inside staring at Word documents all day very happy.

Hmm. I think that’s it. I’ve never written an afterword before, so I’m not sure what else to include. If you have any questions, comments, queries, conundrums, or consternations, shoot me a message, and I’ll try to answer!

Be well, everyone!

-TK. Manne